Those Were Different Times #259
and the "a lot of work went into this" award goes to:
The Once-ler: Look, Lorax, calm down. There’s no cause for alarm. I chopped just one tree, I've turned it to yarn. This tree is most useful! And this thing's a “thneed.” A theed's a fine something-that-all-people-need! It’s a bra. It’s a sock. It’s a ring for your cock! It’s a glove! It's a thong! And voila, it's a bong! You can use it like latex, for bondage for freaks, or covers for lovers of bicycle seats!
The Lorax: Ma'am, you’re crazy. You’re crazy with greed. There’s no one on earth who will buy that fool thneed!
[Kim & Kanye drive by, order 500 thneeds and pay the Once-ler in gold Krugerrands]
The Once-ler: The birth of fad fashion, you poor, stupid guy! Have you seen all the shit that these knit-wits will buy?
The Lorax: You speak the Truf', ma'am.
7. She played me for a spool.
5. I made you a turtle-neck sweater, sans sweater.
4.2. The cat is twitching like crazy. I wonder what she's dreaming about?
4. Needles to say, she darn good in the sack.
3.75. Born under a bad twine.
3. Even though she was strung out, she remained cordial.
2. That's Sew Raven!
1. He thought she said, 'wanna see my tits?'