Comedy Whirled

Those Were Different Times #259

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Results:

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and the "a lot of work went into this" award goes to:
The Once-ler: Look, Lorax, calm down. There’s no cause for alarm. I chopped just one tree, I've turned it to yarn. This tree is most useful! And this thing's a “thneed.” A theed's a fine something-that-all-people-need! It’s a bra. It’s a sock. It’s a ring for your cock! It’s a glove! It's a thong! And voila, it's a bong! You can use it like latex, for bondage for freaks, or covers for lovers of bicycle seats!
The Lorax: Ma'am, you’re crazy. You’re crazy with greed. There’s no one on earth who will buy that fool thneed!
[Kim & Kanye drive by, order 500 thneeds and pay the Once-ler in gold Krugerrands]
The Once-ler: The birth of fad fashion, you poor, stupid guy! Have you seen all the shit that these knit-wits will buy?
The Lorax: You speak the Truf', ma'am.
-FroDoh!

7. She played me for a spool.
-Bubba Licious

5. I made you a turtle-neck sweater, sans sweater.
-Mike McHuman

4.2. The cat is twitching like crazy. I wonder what she's dreaming about?
4. Needles to say, she darn good in the sack.
-MacSpruce


3.75. Born under a bad twine.
3. Even though she was strung out, she remained cordial.
-Iverneil

2. That's Sew Raven!
-FroDoh!

1. He thought she said, 'wanna see my tits?'
-MPG

Views: 233

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Comment by MacSpruce on June 25, 2014 at 8:51pm

Needles to say, she darn good in the sack.

Comment by Mike McHuman on June 24, 2014 at 11:40pm

Guy Fieri should stick to eating other people's food.

Comment by Frodoh on June 22, 2014 at 3:06pm

It was during a days-long opium binge that Ruth first conceived of the Snuggie™.

Comment by Frodoh on June 22, 2014 at 2:58pm

The Once-ler:   Look, Lorax, calm down. There’s no cause for alarm.  I chopped just one tree, I've turned it to yarn.  This tree is most useful!  And this thing's a “thneed.”  A theed's a fine something-that-all-people-need!   It’s a bra.  It’s a sock.  It’s a ring for your cock!  It’s a glove!  It's a thong!  And voila, it's a bong!  You can use it like latex, for bondage for freaks,  or covers for lovers of bicycle seats!

The Lorax:   Ma'am, you’re crazy. You’re crazy with greed. There’s no one on earth who will buy that fool thneed!                                

             [Kim & Kanye drive by, order 500 thneeds and pay the Once-ler in gold Krugerrands]

The Once-ler:   The birth of fad fashion, you poor, stupid guy!  Have you seen all the shit that these knit-wits will buy?

The Lorax:   You speak the Truf', ma'am.

Comment by Frodoh on June 22, 2014 at 9:32am

To feew da fowce, Pwincess—yew must be-weave!

Comment by Frodoh on June 22, 2014 at 9:27am

Fun fact:  Hitchcock's  Rear Spindle was his scariest porno ever.

Comment by Frodoh on June 22, 2014 at 9:24am

You can count on it—knitting an abacus is way harder than it looks!

Comment by MacSpruce on June 22, 2014 at 9:20am

In through the front door,
Once around the back,
Peek through the window,
And off jumps Jack!

God, I love it when you talk dirty, you filthy girl!

Comment by MacSpruce on June 22, 2014 at 9:11am

Her marriage, like her sweater, soon began to unravel. 

Comment by MacSpruce on June 22, 2014 at 9:08am

In the straight-laced 1950s, detecting the sexual imagery in women's magazines required a background in Freudian psychology. 

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