Comedy Whirled

Shaving preferences down thurrrrrr...

So per usual, my life is a joke and I just end up participating in the weirdest conversations because my face does seem to have that, “Why yes, I would love to actively participate in a conversation about shaving preferences for both man and lady junk at a playground on the upper east side” look to it.

Basically, a couple of days ago, I was on a play date with four other moms, one of which I nanny for, and somehow by some unknown power we had no control over we got onto the topic of shaving preferences down thurrrrr for both men and women –

Side note: I’m totally pointing at my lady junk as I type this post…fuck you, it’s totally possible.

And maybe I watch too much porn… well, I definitely watch too much porn, but I thought the golden age of 70’s lady bushes were over. I thought it was a “lets all go bare down there,” Brazilian, wax that shit off, type of era. Which I am totally cool with.

But for ladies in there 40’s they are totally not cool with that sitch for their snatch.

So basically, the main difference is one generation (both male and female) likes hair down there, and the other generation does not. I am of the generation that does not like hair, am I alone on that? I don’t think I am.

I like it just out there; I don’t want to have to go searching. You know what you’re getting right away for both parties. I don’t want the dude to be completely shaved, but I do like when a gentlemen upkeeps his dick beard. (It’s the least you can do gentlemen.)

I don’t like a surprise jungle; it’s just not my style.

But what I gather from this infamous play-date, is the men and ladies in their 40’s really do like a surprise, they like to go searching, it’s part of the foreplay...

…Uh, no.

 Maybe this is just a side effect of our generation, but we are all into that instant gratification, and the thought of having to search for sexual organs (for a lack of better words) just seems completely daunting at this point. And quite honestly, a complete waste of time.

Like, I just, no… I just want to know it’s there, I want to see it, I’ll do stuff with it, and then it’s done. The hair brings absolutely nothing to the table. It just kind of mucks up the works. And…it’s icky. That’s right, it’s fucking icky.

So I’m sorry, four ladies that I had this conversation with, but no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. That is what you should be saying about hair down there. No. No. No. No. No. I did not order this jungle surprise of unawesomeness and weird smelling stuff, so take it back and shave that shit off.

That is all.

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Comment by Ian on June 1, 2012 at 5:19pm

According to Masters & Johnson you might be missing out: "The hair and hair follicles add extra erotic input by stimulating the nerve endings under the skin. Gently tugging, pulling, and scratching this area can be a turn on."  As for your personal preference, feel free to provide us with an orgy of photographic evidence so that we may properly research this matter and reach a new discovery plateau.

Comment by Iverneil on May 31, 2012 at 4:15pm

I like to mix it up a little with topiary shapes, this week I made a giraffe

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