Comedy Whirled

Possible reasons for Colony Collapse:

The Pilgrims were not very good carpenters.

Too many Witches; not enough Hazel.

Many of the Pilgrims caught the Colony Clap.

John Wayne was born too late to tell them, even though he wanted to.

There were thirteen colonies. Thirteen is an unlucky number. Perhaps if they had stopped at twelve…

Really? It’s about bees?? Sorry. My bad.

You can only take so many orders from a Queen.

Two possibilities: Killer Bees and Killer Tomatoes.

Eull Gibbons thought many Bees were edible.

Pollin Polypses.

The Rose Parade. 

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Comment by Ian on May 14, 2012 at 4:54pm

Fear of Colonyoscopies

Comment by Shag on May 14, 2012 at 4:50pm

Kool Aide

Comment by Shag on May 14, 2012 at 4:49pm

They didn't have a Facebook Page.

Comment by Shag on May 14, 2012 at 4:48pm

They changed their diet to edible underwear.

Comment by Shag on May 14, 2012 at 4:46pm

Who let the fat guy in the nudist colony? ...... Ruins it every time.

Comment by Frodoh on May 14, 2012 at 9:03am

Two words: BeeWee Herman

Comment by mellowpuma on May 13, 2012 at 8:31pm

Their faulty Gay-dar was reading 100% all the time.

They read "The Hobbit" instead of hunting, foraging, and gathering.

Language barrier prevented the native's caveat to "sure, cranberries are edible, but ..."

Three words: "scary ghost stories".

Chupacabras ... ON ICE!

Pretty much what happened to those guys in Deliverance, except with knives instead of wieners.

Lacking a sufficient number of things in new world to hate/be afraid of ... Caucasians were torpid and unmotivated.(thank god we have fox news these days)

The crippling steel hand of the teacher's union drove their government into every area of the colonist's economic life, until the colonists decided it was better to see their noble dream burn to the ground, rather than see what it might become.   What lessons they could have taught us ... what lessons.

Comment by Gerhardguffaw on May 13, 2012 at 5:51pm

They should have switched to Geico.

Comment by Gerhardguffaw on May 13, 2012 at 5:51pm

The Thanksgiving yams sucked.

Comment by Gerhardguffaw on May 13, 2012 at 5:48pm

Crappy duct tape.

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