Comedy Whirled

Ian's Blog (17)

In Soviet Russia...

Big thanks to Rotwang for keeping things alive.  What a pleasure to read all your caps on a 'little bitty trouble phone' (Yes, that's a CEot3rdKind reference) while passing through places like Winslow, AZ (where you'll find Meteor Crater) and Amarillo, TX.  CW persists, like the legend of Sasquatch, only funnier.  Thank you to all who donated.  You literally saved CW.  AT&T was sure I'd have decent reception at my new very rural digs in the heartland, they were wrong.  I was getting one…


Added by Ian on August 4, 2021 at 9:50pm — 2 Comments


Hello friends, I'm relocating this month and will be M.I.A. for some time.  Rotwang has agreed to keep things going.  I really look forward to catching up and offering insights and pictures of my road trip.   If you'd like to donate to keep CW alive for us please private message Rotwang and he'll send you my PAYPAL address for donations.  It's a big deal moving, and an even bigger deal moving an entire company across the country!   Be well, do good work and keep in…


Added by Ian on June 29, 2021 at 5:38pm — 3 Comments

How Dragons Produce Fire

With the final season of Game of Thrones fast approaching it's important to understand exactly how a dragon produces fire.

Calling them 'Fire-breathing' is not entirely accurate.  Call them 'Fire-exhaling' Dragons to be more precise.

Much like the monkeys that eat the charcoal for digestion, dragons regularly seek out flint and marcasite-rich…


Added by Ian on March 29, 2019 at 9:00pm — 8 Comments

Gremlins 3 (Notes for a proper sequel treatment)

Rumor has it the new Gremlins 3 script is a reboot.  Here are some quick notes for a treatment of Gremlins 3 as if it were a proper sequel:…


Added by Ian on November 23, 2018 at 4:30pm — 7 Comments

The Lighter Side of the Dark Side of the Force

   You will add to this list so we can formulate the ultimate Silver Linings Playbook for those caught up in the Dark Side of The Force:

Added by Ian on September 22, 2016 at 10:00pm — 36 Comments

Gene Wilder


     Among my fondest memories of the 1970s and '80s was watching Young Frankenstein & Blazing Saddles on a 19" TV in a converted small bedroom in Grandpa & Grandma's house we called 'The Den'.  Filled with three generations of laughing Italian family and cousins, The Den became legendary for side-splitting, rib-busting and even tearful fits of…


Added by Ian on August 29, 2016 at 6:30pm — 1 Comment


Added by Ian on August 5, 2014 at 12:00am — 8 Comments

How to Drive Two Cars at the Same Time

I was watching In the Heat of the Night(1967) and heard Virgil say that Sam couldn't have driven two cars at the same time.

As Rod Steiger pondered this rarely-contested fact for a moment it dawned on me.   It is quite easy to drive two cars at the same time as long as you have about 30 feet of PVC pipe, 100 ft of 8 gauge steel wound wire and one roll of Gorilla Tape.  For ease of control the wires on the driver's end would be attached to a couple of…


Added by Ian on January 20, 2014 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

Lindsay Lohan Hires Herbie

In the wake of today's collision, sources close to sources close to sources close to the Lohan camp revealed that her handlers have contacted the Special Effects Department at Disney in an effort to secure several of the 'Herbie' Volkswagens that were featured in  Herbie Fully Loaded…


Added by Ian on June 8, 2012 at 8:00pm — 7 Comments

We Might Be Stuffing

   Considering the hundreds of eyewitness accounts in South America of a giant flightless bird and the fact that much of that country has yet to be explored with modern surveillance equipment it is practical to assume that there are still birds out there that could bite…


Added by Ian on November 18, 2011 at 4:30pm — 1 Comment

Schrödinger's Cat Paradox

For the sheer sake of seeing Schadenfreude followed by Schrödinger I present the following:

Schrödinger's Cat: A cat, along with a flask containing a poison and a radioactive source, is placed in a sealed box shielded against environmentally induced quantum…


Added by Ian on July 28, 2011 at 1:30am — 6 Comments

Standard ESP Test on Standard Poodle

One afternoon while crawling in traffic I noticed a person walking a black Standard Poodle on the sidewalk.  I thought about how often people claim the particular breed as being exceptionally intelligent and decided to test this theory using only telepathy.  (It is important to relay the fact that I was wearing sunglasses at the time and was two lanes…


Added by Ian on July 10, 2011 at 5:30am — 2 Comments

iMod for Twitter


Coming very soon is an app/program called iMod®.  It will enable idiots to sound literally credible when tweeting their bullshit as well as protect celebrities from themselves.  The comment self-moderation tolerances will be adjusted to fit the user's profession.  A comedian's will be at 1 or 2 filter strength. …


Added by Ian on June 6, 2011 at 7:30pm — No Comments




Here we can clearly see that it needs rolfing to

say the very…


Added by Ian on April 14, 2011 at 12:00am — 1 Comment


As reviled as this blog title's name may be it is occasionally accurate:

As we keep seeing people at midlife or early life, famous and infamous,…


Added by Ian on September 30, 2010 at 6:30pm — 3 Comments

The Imam Conditional (or how I learned to stop laughing long enough to type this rational, objective point of view)

In tonight's CNN broadcast, "The Imam," (which I'm sure is code for 'Mr. Miami'), told Soledad that if "we don't go through with the building of the mosque two blocks from Ground Zero it will incite extremist events throughout the world" (paraphrasing a bit, but not off fact). This is in effect another act of fear mongering and blatant thuggery in a three piece suit, which is common practice among any… Continue

Added by Ian on September 8, 2010 at 9:00pm — 5 Comments

Real-Time Time Machine Language (1969)

The Senate votes 70-7 to ban…

Added by Ian on December 15, 1969 at 9:30pm — 4 Comments

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