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Comment by JJJ23 on May 3, 2022 at 6:49pm

I was watching that movie Hope Floats the other day and I thought, "you know who would've been great in this?" "Natalie Wood."

Comment by 38chrysler on April 16, 2022 at 5:13am

Politicians suck at their jobs and screw everyone... basically they are all Porn actors.

Comment by JJJ23 on February 5, 2022 at 10:21pm

Idea for a movie: An older Edward Scissorhands is now a psychiatrist and he begins treating a new patient, you guessed it, Freddy Krueger. He slowly breaks down the walls of Freddy's past trauma, much of which was admittedly caused by Freddy himself; dream murders etc., and delivers Freddy to a revelatory breakthrough that was right there all along: 2nd knives hand. Working title, "I Married A Beautiful Much Younger Actress and Beat Her Until She Left Me".

Comment by JJJ23 on January 28, 2022 at 10:52am

I've seen in several places people saying this thing about when you die you instantly lose a small amount of weight and the idea being that that's supposed to be the soul's weight/ it leaving the body. But like, also, don't most people shit themselves when the die? #weighthatshit

Comment by JJJ23 on January 12, 2022 at 8:42pm

Idea for the conclusion of Succession: Greg somehow comes out on top as head of Waystar Royco with the help of his grandpa (played by James Cromwell). Final Scene: Greg at his grandpa's death bed says, "That'll do pig."

Comment by JJJ23 on January 2, 2022 at 5:19pm

I like to think that Betty White was awesome at Madden. #poortaste

Comment by JJJ23 on January 1, 2022 at 7:58pm

Pete Davidson could star in a remake of Beetlejuice without makeup.

Comment by JJJ23 on December 26, 2021 at 10:00pm

I get really down this time of year. It is said that nature abhors a vacuum, man, I really miss my job at Dyson.

Comment by JJJ23 on December 13, 2021 at 7:28pm

Is Ke$ha getting any money from the TikTok app? Cause she had that song Tik Tok. Well if so it would finally warrant the $ in the middle of her name.

Comment by JJJ23 on September 26, 2021 at 1:25am

There's a guy he's got dyslexia and it gets him in trouble sometimes. He's really hungry one day, and he decides he wants a bunt cake. He goes to his wife and says, "Honey I'm starving". She says "what do you want?". He says, "cunt bake".

Comment by MacSpruce on August 16, 2021 at 9:35am

In the grand scheme of things, there is no actual grand scheme. 

Comment by Treeshadow on August 3, 2021 at 4:32pm

Austria and Australia merged as one country and will now be known as Austriaalia.

Spain and Ukraine merged and will now be known as Spukrain.

North Dakota & South Dakota merged and are now Southern Canada. 

Comment by Treeshadow on July 23, 2021 at 5:56pm

This just in, entire U.S. Olympic BINGO Team canceled due to multiple steroid violations.

Comment by JJJ23 on June 28, 2021 at 8:26am

We were all born fucked, in fact it's how we got here.

Comment by JJJ23 on February 24, 2021 at 5:32pm

Product idea: Cat leashes! Take your cat for a walk! Cat don't wanna walk? Yank that sumbitch til he gets with program! Do you think dogs wanted to walk on leashes? Cat leashes, show your cat who's boss!

Comment by Treeshadow on February 3, 2021 at 12:13pm

Language will now be spelled, "LANGWIDGE."

Comment by Treeshadow on February 3, 2021 at 10:38am

From now on the word "Twice" will be spelled "Twiice." Stay tuned for more language updates, brought to you each Wensday in the month of Febrary.

Comment by JJJ23 on November 29, 2020 at 8:39am

We're gonna Make America Great Again! - Donald Trump 2015

We're gonna Keep America Great! - Donald Trump 2018

We're like a third world country. - Donald Trump late November 2020

I like this guy, and I believe him when he says the election was stolen from him.* - 74 Million Americans

*problem

Comment by JJJ23 on November 13, 2020 at 11:09am

I'm 33 now, and when I meet people for the first time I'm upfront about how immature I am. I'm not insecure about it really, I own it, it's how I am, I'm fine with it. Some folks might call me a proud boy.

Comment by JJJ23 on October 4, 2020 at 8:31am

Mr. Oblivious: I hear all this negative talk about white supremacy, and I'm like, I'm white, I want to be supreme, and I'd have loved to sing with Diana Ross, that's a good lookin' black woman.

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