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Comment by JJJ23 on September 26, 2021 at 1:25am

There's a guy he's got dyslexia and it gets him in trouble sometimes. He's really hungry one day, and he decides he wants a bunt cake. He goes to his wife and says, "Honey I'm starving". She says "what do you want?". He says, "cunt bake".

Comment by MacSpruce on August 16, 2021 at 9:35am

In the grand scheme of things, there is no actual grand scheme. 

Comment by Treeshadow on August 3, 2021 at 4:32pm

Austria and Australia merged as one country and will now be known as Austriaalia.

Spain and Ukraine merged and will now be known as Spukrain.

North Dakota & South Dakota merged and are now Southern Canada. 

Comment by Treeshadow on July 23, 2021 at 5:56pm

This just in, entire U.S. Olympic BINGO Team canceled due to multiple steroid violations.

Comment by JJJ23 on June 28, 2021 at 8:26am

We were all born fucked, in fact it's how we got here.

Comment by JJJ23 on February 24, 2021 at 5:32pm

Product idea: Cat leashes! Take your cat for a walk! Cat don't wanna walk? Yank that sumbitch til he gets with program! Do you think dogs wanted to walk on leashes? Cat leashes, show your cat who's boss!

Comment by Treeshadow on February 3, 2021 at 12:13pm

Language will now be spelled, "LANGWIDGE."

Comment by Treeshadow on February 3, 2021 at 10:38am

From now on the word "Twice" will be spelled "Twiice." Stay tuned for more language updates, brought to you each Wensday in the month of Febrary.

Comment by JJJ23 on November 29, 2020 at 8:39am

We're gonna Make America Great Again! - Donald Trump 2015

We're gonna Keep America Great! - Donald Trump 2018

We're like a third world country. - Donald Trump late November 2020

I like this guy, and I believe him when he says the election was stolen from him.* - 74 Million Americans

*problem

Comment by JJJ23 on November 13, 2020 at 11:09am

I'm 33 now, and when I meet people for the first time I'm upfront about how immature I am. I'm not insecure about it really, I own it, it's how I am, I'm fine with it. Some folks might call me a proud boy.

Comment by JJJ23 on October 4, 2020 at 8:31am

Mr. Oblivious: I hear all this negative talk about white supremacy, and I'm like, I'm white, I want to be supreme, and I'd have loved to sing with Diana Ross, that's a good lookin' black woman.

Comment by JJJ23 on October 4, 2020 at 8:27am

Underrated Super Power #2: Quick shitting. Get it out and get back to it.

Comment by JJJ23 on September 13, 2020 at 7:48am

Underrated Super Power #1003: Rationale. Reason. Discernmentation. That last one isn't a word, but it's seems like it maybe could be. Thinkatude.

Comment by JJJ23 on September 13, 2020 at 7:44am

Underrated Super Power #17: Seeing through balls. All the balls. Any ball. Seeing through them. Balls.

Comment by JJJ23 on September 11, 2020 at 4:29am

Underrated Super Power #43: 2 big toes on each foot. Think of the traction. Please. Please. Won't someone think of the traction?

Comment by MacSpruce on September 2, 2020 at 9:12pm

They’re calling it the Trump Plague now. The Trump Plague of 2020. I’m hearing more and more people, a lot of people calling it the Trump Plague. It’s the greatest thing that, it’s like, nobody has ever seen anything like it, and they’re calling it the Trump Plague. That's what I'm hearing from a lot of people.

Comment by JJJ23 on August 27, 2020 at 9:30am

I'm going down the road and I see a sign that says Slow Funeral. What am I supposed to be more considerate just cause some dumb person died? 

Comment by Treeshadow on August 21, 2020 at 11:40am

My predictions for rest of the year:

VAMPIRE FROGS

PENGUIN ZOMBIES

EXPLODING BUTTERFLIES

WiFi WAVES RANDOMLY SLING MUD

FLYING SQUIRRELS THAT CARRY CACTUS PLANTS

ROBOT VACUUMS TUNNEL INTO THE EARTH

CHIMPS ON POGO STICKS BREATHE FIRE

THREE HURRICANES STACKED NEATLY ON TOP OF EACH OTHER

TURTLES DISCOVER THEY CAN BREAK WINDOWS WHEN THEY COUGH

EVERY TEXT MESSAGE EVER IS SENT TO EVERYONE, PHONES OVERHEAT AND MELT

Comment by Treeshadow on August 7, 2020 at 7:53am

99% of people who lose their train of thought

Comment by Treeshadow on July 29, 2020 at 5:06pm

One word movie critiques:

The Farmer “Outstanding!”

The Hypnotist “Mesmerizing!”

The Welder “Riveting!”

The Pencil “Sharp!”

Quintuple Solar Systems “Five Stars!”

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