OPEN MIC
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Comment by Treeshadow on June 3, 2023 at 9:31pm
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Piranha hate when people throw a bean bag chair in the Amazon River.
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I know Talk Like a Pirate Day is 19 September but is there a Smell Like a Pirate Day? Because that's what I got going on.
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Rottenborn: “The fact is, Mr. Depp, if Disney came to you with $300 million and a million alpacas, nothing on this earth would get you to go back and work with Disney on a ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ film? Correct?”
Depp: “That is true, Mr. Rottenborn.”
Somebody somewhere is writing what they think will be a great sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean with a million alpacas in the story.
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Being a "fly on the wall" is one thing, but imagine being whatever clings to the wall in the home of a fly. Ohhh, the stories you would hear when Mr. and Mrs. Fly exchange what they heard all day; I sure would like to be a "whatever on the wall"!
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Comment by JJJ23 on May 3, 2022 at 6:49pm
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I was watching that movie Hope Floats the other day and I thought, "you know who would've been great in this?" "Natalie Wood."
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Comment by 38chrysler on April 16, 2022 at 5:13am
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Politicians suck at their jobs and screw everyone... basically they are all Porn actors.
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Idea for a movie: An older Edward Scissorhands is now a psychiatrist and he begins treating a new patient, you guessed it, Freddy Krueger. He slowly breaks down the walls of Freddy's past trauma, much of which was admittedly caused by Freddy himself; dream murders etc., and delivers Freddy to a revelatory breakthrough that was right there all along: 2nd knives hand. Working title, "I Married A Beautiful Much Younger Actress and Beat Her Until She Left Me".
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I've seen in several places people saying this thing about when you die you instantly lose a small amount of weight and the idea being that that's supposed to be the soul's weight/ it leaving the body. But like, also, don't most people shit themselves when the die? #weighthatshit
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Idea for the conclusion of Succession: Greg somehow comes out on top as head of Waystar Royco with the help of his grandpa (played by James Cromwell). Final Scene: Greg at his grandpa's death bed says, "That'll do pig."
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I like to think that Betty White was awesome at Madden. #poortaste
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Pete Davidson could star in a remake of Beetlejuice without makeup.
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I get really down this time of year. It is said that nature abhors a vacuum, man, I really miss my job at Dyson.
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Is Ke$ha getting any money from the TikTok app? Cause she had that song Tik Tok. Well if so it would finally warrant the $ in the middle of her name.
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There's a guy he's got dyslexia and it gets him in trouble sometimes. He's really hungry one day, and he decides he wants a bunt cake. He goes to his wife and says, "Honey I'm starving". She says "what do you want?". He says, "cunt bake".
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Comment by MacSpruce on August 16, 2021 at 9:35am
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In the grand scheme of things, there is no actual grand scheme.
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Austria and Australia merged as one country and will now be known as Austriaalia.
Spain and Ukraine merged and will now be known as Spukrain.
North Dakota & South Dakota merged and are now Southern Canada.
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This just in, entire U.S. Olympic BINGO Team canceled due to multiple steroid violations.
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We were all born fucked, in fact it's how we got here.
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Product idea: Cat leashes! Take your cat for a walk! Cat don't wanna walk? Yank that sumbitch til he gets with program! Do you think dogs wanted to walk on leashes? Cat leashes, show your cat who's boss!
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Language will now be spelled, "LANGWIDGE."
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