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"With this core sample I thee wed."
"Are you done telling your story?"
"Just keep turning it or the Earth will stop spinning and everyone will fly off into space."
Coming to theaters this Christmas...
"Bill & Ted's Last Day Before Going Postal!"
"Rolling Stoned says... "This chilling installment will leave you hooked!"
"I'm this big after I take that little blue pill and eat a tuna sandwich!"
"Jimmy, I told you to never screw with the local fishermen!"
“THIS is how you fuck a polar bear!”
“No, I’m not gay either. I’m just saying we’re the only humans within a hundred miles, so we should probably keep our options open.”
“Next time, let’s bring a battery powered drill.”
“What the fuck do you mean you left the fishing poles back at home in California?”
Tonight on an all new episode of Ice Road Fuckers…
"A fish about this big latched on to my index finger, thats why it looks the way it does."
If you plan to catch any longer than this, you're going to need a bigger auger.
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach him to ice-fish, and he’ll freeze his arse off.
"I know it's freezing, but they don't make gloves that fit my deformed hands."
"Wait, so you're saying ice fishing is actually trying to catch fish, not ice? This is so confusing!"
...when I said we could take turns screwing each others ice-hole that is not what I meant...
"Yeah, you see, um? How do I delicately put this? It seems to be stuck on a frozen fish corpse."
"There's gotta be a far more effective way of digging out all this goddamn snow."
"Holy shit! What in the fuck is going on with your finger?!"
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