With the Thanksgiving holiday near, I thought I would ask some people what they are thankful for...
"Hi, Bob Dolt (R) here. I'd like to thank all the voters in my district for sending me to Congress. All the things I said during the campaign were outright lies to get your vote. See you in two years on the campaign trail."
"Guess what I'm thankful for?"
"WTF...I'll be dead."
George Kaywhy, Channel 12 News..."I'm thankful for the gigantic pay raise I received last week and Weather Girl Sunny Bono. She makes every day 69 degrees and beautiful."
"My name is none of your business! But I'm thankful for Stu's Truck Stop on Rt. 52. Let's just say I'm the Welcome Wagon...wink, wink. A special shout out goes to Earl "18 Wheels" Heller. That sum na bitch could fuck the rust off the Titanic!"
"Hi, I'm Heather and I'd like to thank Gerhardguffaw for showing me the meaning of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness...and his collection of postage stamps from Guam."
"I'd like to thank the airport security guy for accidently grabbing my nuts (picture above shows my reaction at the moment of cupping). Security guy and I will be spending Thanksgiving together in Hawaii."
"Rocko here. I'd like to thank Adonis for allowing me the opportunity to adjust his anus so he doesn't keep crapping on his left leg."
"I'd like to thank the government for everything. My unemployment ran out. I lost my house, my car and my FOD membership because I had to sell my computer. You may have known me as 2ManyChins. I wasn't very funny, but I am proud to say I never die-bombed anybody except 'theDIRTYmidget'...though I thought he was cute.
I finally got a minimum wage job as "Weiner Woman" for Dick's Porn And Lube. Life sucks!"
HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!