Hey! As an adult reflecting back on my childhood, I realized that I was made to say some pretty weird shit growing up. Well, first of all shit wasn't shit it was poop. While that in itself is not weird, taken as a whole, well, you decide. We were to say "Tootie" insted of penis, cock, dick, purple headed pootie bopper, etc. We could not call flatulence a fart, and nay we were not saying poot even. We had to say "squeak". "Mother, a bit of pee came out my tootie when I squeaked." Not that I ever said that, I just wanted to provide an example in context. I remember watching an episode of Facts of Life when I was young and I also remember being very confused that a girl on the show was named Tootie. On a side note, remember Garbage Pail Kids? Yeah, I wasn't allowed to have those, but my friends were! I remember at baseball practice studying the cards as long as I could before my parents picked me up. I remember thinking "What other cool shit like this am I missing?!?!!?".The answer came in perhaps the saddest part of this so called blog, I was not allowed to watch The Simpsons. I pause a moment for the grief stricken reader to fully take in the former statement.....And, I'm back. All-in-all, I really had a pretty good childhood. Thanks for reading about all the weird shit I had to say. Oh yeah, boobs where to be called "bumps". And they were "bumps" to me waaaaaaaaaaay before the Black Eyed Peas song. Maybe my parents were just uber-crunk before their time.