Comedy Whirled

Write funny dialogue that would sound typical in the following

(or add one)

movie types:


Espionage: "I told you to never ever call me at this number!!"... "It was an emergency!!! they're on to us!!"


Teen Horror









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Comment by Gerhardguffaw on November 25, 2012 at 12:20pm
Western... "Yo, Tonto, can you do me a solid and loan me a condom?"
Teen Horror... "I'm so scared I forgot how to!"
Sci Fi... "For the last time, Spock, I said I don't have your Warped Speedo!"
Romance... "Why, yes, Stella, I am happy to see you. By the way, that's my goiter you see bulging from my pants."
Action... "That farmer was fuckin' nuts! I was dodging pullets left and right!"
War... "I'll cover your right flank steak, Captain!"
Children's... "Don't snort the fairy dust, Timmy!"
Fantasy... "Holy shit, Gerhard, you're telling me you just DID the entire women's volleyball team, including the players on injured reserve?"
Comment by Buttermilk on November 25, 2012 at 5:06am

Remix of Romance, Children's, Fantasy, Action & Horror:

"Bed-knobs & Broomsticks"



Comment by Buttermilk on November 25, 2012 at 5:00am

Children's: Mommy, will you buy me a little brown rescue dog I can eat spaghetti with?"

"Please sir, more! Unless it's the crap we had last night."

"Nothing to be afraid of, dear. It's not thunder, it's just Grandpa in the bathroom cleaning out the pipes. Beans make him gassy."

"I'm 5 years old & they'll throw me in the slammer if I kiss a younger woman."

War: War is swell if you're in Nam with a joint.

Comment by Frodoh on November 24, 2012 at 10:47am


Marty McFly:   Wait a minute, Doc—are you trying to tell me that my mother has the hots for me?!
Doc Brown:   Precisely.
Marty:   Whoa, this is heavy!
Doc Brown:   Even "heavier", Marty, is that in the sequel, she orchestrates a torrid 3-way with *two of me* at once.

Marty:   Whoa!  Whaddaya call that?!

Brown:   A  'pair-a-Docs', Marty,—a fuckin' - beautiful - classic  pair-a-Docs...

Marty:  um... Daddy?

Comment by Frodoh on November 24, 2012 at 9:57am


Dave Bowman:  Open the pod bay doors, Siri.

Siri:   I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave. 

Dave:  What are you talking about?

Siri:  You see, Mr. Jobs' last request was that you should die horrifically by asphyxiation for infringing on his patented minimalist esthetic—and furthermore—Kubrick gets it next.

Dave:  Siri...

Siri:  Yes, Dave?

Dave:  I never thought I'd say this but—please transfer me to that frickin' whacko HAL!

Siri:  This conversation can have no further purpose.  Good bye.

Comment by Iverneil on November 24, 2012 at 8:17am

Teen Horror: "Oooohhhh Tommy...I love when you do that....Tommy?,...TOMMY????"

Comment by Buttermilk on November 24, 2012 at 7:56am

Western: "Drink this hootch. It'll spur us on."

Teen Horror: "Suddenly...

Sci-fi: "This field of study is alien to us."

"You don't have a ghost of a chance."

Suspense: "I pulled into the Bates Motel. I'm low on cash. It's cheap but bloody clean enough.

"Usually I liked waking up with the birds but this morning...

Romance: "Why do you always lift up your right leg when I kiss you?"

Action: "Drop it!" "Put in your own damn sugar cubes!"

Comment by Ian on November 23, 2012 at 11:53pm

"Remember, the secret of life is this."

(holds up hand, extending middle finger)

"One thing?"

"No!  Fucking, you idiot!"

Comment by Ian on November 23, 2012 at 11:51pm

"Listen very carefully, they're going to find you under the bed and take you."

"Great dad, you're on speakerphone,  and I think they heard you."


"No wonder you got fired from the C.I.A."

Comment by Ian on November 23, 2012 at 11:45pm

"I'm getting too old for this romance shit."

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