Comedy Whirled

Those Were Different Times #141: solid gold edition.

Introducing: "Do You Know Jesus?" by Unkle Les and Aunt Naney Wheeler. 

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SOLID GOLD RESULTS:

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and the "Ultimate Mutlimedia Award" goes to:

"Do I know Jesus? You mean 'know' him in the Biblical sense? (wink-wink) Well, actually, this one time at Bible Camp for Ventriloquists' Dummies … "
-Macspruce

(wow)

 

10. Aunt Naney has a face only a 12 pack would love.
-drwho

 

9. Typical freaky religious family... they lock him in a trunk at night with no food or water and make him pray for forgiveness for only being happy when things are shoved up his ass..
-Michaelred73

 

8. If Les doesn't hold the dummy's hand,
Nancy pretends it's coming to life and trying to kill Les.
It's Nancy who really wants to kill him, though
-theDIRTYmidget


7. The dummy's name is, in fact, Jesus (Spanish pronunciation),
and was hewn from a piece of The One True Cross,
stolen in a raid by Les and Nancy's White Supremacist group, The Voice Overthrowers™.
-theDIRTymidget

 

6. The dummy was made anatomically correct with the help of a plaster cast Aunt Nancy made backstage at a Buddy Hackett show in the Catskills in 1969.
-MadAdam

 

5. little-known fact II: Son Of Little-Known Fact: Jesus spoke all of his teachings while drinking a glass of water.
-antistar

-Ian Renga

 

3. Includes the hit single, which was amazingly ahead of it's time: What Wood Jesus Do?
-MadAdam

 

2. Nancy doesn't give Les head anymore, not because they got married................ she just can't stand the taste of Lemon Pledge.
-MadAdam

 

1. 11th Commandment:  "Thou Shalt Toil Endlessly Toward A Fantastically Tired Schtick" .
-antistar
(Hmm, maybe I should change things up a bit with the contest here, hmm.)

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Comment by chuckkling on May 17, 2011 at 10:46pm
Does this album make my butt look like Lindsay Jessica Parker?
Comment by JJJ23 on May 16, 2011 at 9:36pm

The gospel according to Bark.

Comment by MacSpruce on May 15, 2011 at 8:59pm

 

Comment by Joe Blow on May 15, 2011 at 4:29pm

Includes the smash title hit "Do you know Jesus? (No?, well he was this dude that lived ages ago that said he was the son of God and get this, everyone believed him, well not everyone, the Romans sure as shit didn't, they nailed him to a cross, 'get that up ya churchy boy' they yelled, but that’s not the point, he was really awesome and did some cool shit, like walked on water……though some said there was a sandbar, he also fed a shitload of people………..though some said there was just a lot of food to go around, you know 'bring a plate' and all that jazz…..oh yeah, he could also turn water into wine, which would be impressive at a massive pissup….though most reckon that he just had a stash out the back…..so….yeah, that’s Jesus…………..oh, the dummy, its cool, I just like fingering little boys.)"

Comment by MadAdam on May 14, 2011 at 6:34pm
The dummy was made anatomically correct with the help of a plaster cast Aunt Nancy made backstage at a Buddy Hackett show in the Catskills in 1969. 
Comment by MadAdam on May 14, 2011 at 6:22pm
Includes the hit single, which was amazingly ahead of it's time: What Wood Jesus Do?
Comment by MadAdam on May 14, 2011 at 6:18pm
Love songs inspired by 3 months of hot, sweaty, Thursday afternoons in the summer of 72' spent having their bushes tended to by Jesus "Hot" Rodriguez, lawn maintainence man for the Holy Valley Trailer Resort, Tempe, Arizona.
Comment by MadAdam on May 14, 2011 at 6:12pm

Nancy doesn't give Les head anymore, not because they got married................ she just can't stand the taste of Lemon Pledge.

Comment by theDIRTYmidget.© on May 14, 2011 at 3:27pm
"Our dog is the Virgin Mary."
Comment by theDIRTYmidget.© on May 14, 2011 at 3:26pm
If Les doesn't hold the dummy's hand,
Nancy pretends it's coming to life and trying to kill Les.
It's Nancy who really wants to kill him, though.

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