Comedy Whirled

Those Were Different Times #108

Introducing: Dr. Dallas F. Billington's record album "THIS IS YOUR FUNERAL If You Are a Christian"

Results:

 

 

9.5. Includes the infamous B-Side collection of actual death rattles:   'The uncoiling wheeze' and 'accidental harmonica sounding exhale' and who could forget the chart-topper, 'combination choking sound and gas release'

9 The power of Christ compels you to take advantage of these low low prices!
*denzel*
-IanRenga

 

8.5.  If you are a Southern Christian..add Jack Daniels.

8. ..and we'll leave the light on for you.
-chuckkling

 

7. That WILL be what my funeral looks like, and the open lid will be from my butt ass naked waist down so all the bitches can weep over the loss of my magnificent manhood!
(this caption was commissioned by and paid for by The Dirty Midget, a Limited Liability Corporation)
-MadAdam

 

6. Ralph Edwards is going to pop up and scare the shit out of you
-drwho

 

5. THIS IS YOUR LANDING-TARGET
If You Mistakenly Picked Up
An Anvil In A Backpack Instead Of Your Parachute
-theDIRTYmidget

 

4. If not, the dumpster's out back
-Donairs

 

3. So if I play it backwards I'll be resurrected?
-MacSpruce

 

2.5. Dr. Billington is also an accomplished musician, &  played the Skin Flute on Do They Know It's Christmas

2. Dr. Dallas' discography includes:
I'm Thinking I Like To Tell You What To Do
What's That Smell, You Say?  It's Just Hell, Which Has A Boner For Your Eternal Soul
The Pope Has 'No Comment' On That
Defining Your Existence With Theist Labels: It's Pretty Good, You Should Try It
My Wife May Have Cheated On Me, But God Damn It We're Not Getting Divorced
I Smite, You Smite, We All Smite
When You Die, I'll Make Some Coffee
Christianity Is Serious Business™
My Wife May Have Cheated On Me Again, But God Damn It We're Not Getting Divorced
Loving God Is Like Showing Your Penis To A Large Group Of People (live album)
Sure, Animals Are Stupid & Beneath Contempt, But God Created Them, So We Kind Of Have To Respect That
Apparently, My Wife Will Fuck Anything That Moves (limited edition EP)
-antistar

 

1. I hear it went multi platinum in the Middle East.
-JJJ23

 

 

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Comment by MadAdam on January 7, 2011 at 4:45pm

That WILL be what my funeral looks like, and the open lid will be from my butt ass naked waist down so all the bitches can weep over the loss of my magnificent manhood!

(this caption was commissioned by and paid for by The Dirty Midget, a Limited Liability Corporation)

Comment by bigjas on January 7, 2011 at 1:07am
All it plays is The Jam 'Going Underground'
Comment by chuckkling on January 6, 2011 at 8:23pm
If you are a Southern Christian..add Jack Daniels.
Comment by MacSpruce on January 6, 2011 at 7:55pm
No disrespect intended, Doctor, but I'd like a second opinion.
Comment by MacSpruce on January 6, 2011 at 7:53pm
So if I play it backwards I'll be resurrected?
Comment by MacSpruce on January 6, 2011 at 7:37pm
Sorry, Doc, I didn't catch what you were saying. Maybe because I'm dead.
Comment by chuckkling on January 6, 2011 at 4:01pm
..and we'll leave the light on for you.
Comment by chuckkling on January 6, 2011 at 3:56pm
I'm a Christian but I'll be Louvin the oven.
Comment by Donairs on January 6, 2011 at 11:11am
If not, the dumpster's out back.
Comment by Lloyd Christmas on January 6, 2011 at 8:20am

WHAT?!  Where are the tall goth candles?  And Billy Idol was supposed to sing and personally hammer the coffin nails on the beats just like in the White Wedding video!  Someone call my lawyers!

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