Those Were Different Times Contest #92
Introducing "EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO OPERATE A CB RADIO"
And the award for "Best Fictional Dirty CB Radio Transmission" goes to:
UUUUH... BREAKER BREAKER MMMMMMM DONKEY DONG AAAAAAAH YOU OUT THERE.
YEA, YOU GOT THE NEW YORK HANGER BANGER HER DARLIN... WHATS YOUR HANDLE???
UUUUH I WAS LOOKING FOR DONKEY DONG...... AHHH OVER
YEA, YOU GOT THE BIG MONKEY SPUNK GA HEAD...
EEEEERRR NO I WANT DONKEY DONG.... OVER
YEA, THATS ME GA HEAD...
9. The sleeve cover is just a huge, hairy bush!
8. Roger, Roger....This is Spread Eagle waiting for you to drop your load, Good Buddy
7. Calling Scatman Crothers ... This is Wendy from the Overlook Hotel ... Come in Scatman, do you copy? ...
OOH YEAH BABY, IMMA SCATMAN ... I ALSO DIG GOLDEN SHOWERS ...
6. This is MILF and I'm lookin' for some sugar.
5. Breaker Breaker. Did you say Darlene? Is that a female name?
4. Ever since she got the CB radio, she's had a steady procession of truckers 'knocking on her back door' ...
3.75. "This here's Shady Sweater-Rockin' Morgan, comin' at ya. You sound good, lady. I mean damn good. I should be drivin' my, er, rig right now, but I'm feelin' my balls instead. 'Cause of you! It's okay, though, since I'm such a good rig driver that I can do that."
3.5. "Hello. Hello? Hello. This is Potholder-Teakettle-Knife Rack-Domestic-Woman-Who-Doesn't Understand-Machinery-Thingamabobs trying out my new C.B. radio doo-dad. Anyone there? Yoo-hoo!"
3. First thing you need to know: Don't talk to that guy pictured on the cover.
2.5. We've secretly replaced Karen's CB Transceiver with a Russian A.T.A.K. mobile nuclear launch controller. Let's see if she presses the wrong series of buttons. Next time on Candid Close-Calls
2. "When driving on any suspension bridges it is paramount that you pitch your whole body and head so you're aiming at the passenger window. Do NOT attempt to look forward while using the communicator."
1.5. "Hey honey, I just finished having a "Convoy" if you know what I mean....come on" "10-4"
1. That's a big ol' fancy box of transitors and circuits to transmit hill folk talk.