Things that hung on the tree before tinsel: Drunk Uncle Jake, Night crawlers, Shellacked Grub Worms, Painted Cicada shells, Suspenders, Fourteen Festive Rags, Webworms, Gramma’s Noodles, Candy Canes made of condoms, Laquered dirt clods,
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A whole years worth of belly button lint
Grandma's wig and bloomers
Lynch mob's 'droop du jour'.
We used to roll Grandpa up in front of the tree and let him sneeze.
the hopes and dreams of a young owl, looking to devour cute little field mice.
a mixture of owl poop, and undigested field mouse bones.
christmas lights get hung before tinsel, duh. that's christmas tree prep 101.
the financial future and folksy slang of a rural christmas tree grower.
beads of dew.
cans of mountain dew with bb holes in em an' such. them youngns, they just love shooting those cans. we tried givn' em the diet soders, no sale. they're good kids though, i recon.
a pregnant silence hung in the air, an immobile expanse of sepia toned wanderlust, just before the chainsaw roared to life, it's teeth moving in cacophonous harmony, a gasoline scented orchestra of physics and steel. the music of the spheres awaited it's next meal.
WHAT DO WE WANT? TIME TRAVEL! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? IT'S IRRELEVANT.Comedy Whirled
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