Comedy Whirled

Sorry for my absence...here are some lame excuses

Sorry I was gone for so long…here is a list of some reasons for my absence

I broke my main typing fingers whilst picking my nose

It slipped my mind

I was in a coma

Several famous celebrities died that were near and dear to me

I’ve been hallucinating

I had food poisoning

I have been tearing up the caption contest on Funny or Die

It was that time of the month

I was in jail and I wasn’t able to roll “doubles” successfully to get out

I've been waiting in line at the movie theater for the new Channing Tatum movie to open

My dog ate my homework…wait strike that, wrong type of excuse

Actually….there really isn’t any real excuse for my absence other than being extremely busy with work and family. I have certainly missed participating in the cap con and other conversations and will check in from time to time going forward.

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Comment by mellowpuma on June 24, 2014 at 11:24pm

even more excuses:

dingos ate my baby blanket, and i had to learn a buttload of stitches to reconstruct it.

i had to go see a man about a horse genetics program. turns out "horseman" dosn't fight crime, so much as rape sheep and dairy cattle.

turns out novelty trucker condom vending machine restocking isn't the booming business the brochure made it out to be.

i meditated, and deeply pondered what jim morrison meant with all those lyrics. I'm pretty sure "break on through to the other side" is actually about the greeting card industry.

Comment by mellowpuma on June 20, 2014 at 2:47am

some more excuses:

I had to repel the imminent grizzly bear attack that was gathering upon downtown manhattan.

i opened a bag of "funions" and got lost in the fun.

I started fighting crime and couldn't quit till i stopped all the crime. you're welcome.

i found a way to sustain myself on sunlight alone.  then i realized you can't have sex with sunlight.

i tried really really hard to learn to throw a ball of fire, like in that street fighter game.  

the freemasons called me to solve some freemason crime. turns out, it was the freemason butler.

the sun was in my eyes, and since i was on a space station, it didn't set for several months.

Comment by Gerhardguffaw on June 14, 2014 at 1:02pm

NEWSFLASH!!!

This just in...

Clutch Cargo was found alive and well today!  Many months ago he went into hiding after reading an article and finding out that he was only 134th on the list of most popular cartoon characters ever created.  On the upside, Clutch did beat out the never before seen Acme Salesman on The Road Runner!

Comment by LL Bein on June 14, 2014 at 12:01am

I believed all excuses, until I realized I'd voted Die on your FoD caps. What can I say...? It was that time of the month.

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