Comedy Whirled

Results Of An Abusive Childhood.














I was really surprised that there were no references to either The Rainbow of the Gay Flag ( The single most annoying appropriation of a vague, random symbol in History.;  I’m sure Kermit was thrilled. ) or to ‘rivers of semen’ ( mellowpuma’s #4 came closest, but no cigar, both puns intended.). 

Cmon, People !  I cant help you if you wont help yourselves !!! 

[ ‘Lee’ would be disgusted, and would still continue smiling, so you’d never know, but his mother could tell (... if they weren’t both dead.  Hmm ... I wonder if Jamie Redfern is dead.). ] 

Liberace’s disappointment and his mother’s knowing it bring us to the first of our

Special Categories.:  

TheJesus Christ!  Thats-Fuckin’-Raw-
(-Even-By-My-Standards-), -And-I-Love-It!®” Award.: 

"Ah, A Baby Grand, Candles, and the sweet sound of meat being pulled out of a teenage boy's butt cheeks! There's nothing more priceless!" (Quote by Liberace) 

The Get It?®” Award.: 

He has Blower's Cramp! Get it?

( It’s always funny when someone says  “Get it?”, especially when it’s painfully obvious that there’s absolutely no way that The Listener didn’t get it.  From now on, there will be a Get It?®” Award as often as necessary, but let’s not go overboard, shall we?  This isn’t a Corner, and Imma midget, not a BabyGet It? )

Homoable Mentions.®: 

The Redfern family eventually sued Liberace because he wouldn't stop tickling Jamie's ivories. 

Includes the hit, "Sitting On Top Of Liberace" 

I wonder why he squints while Liberace is behind him! 

Why is Liberace's middle finger brown? .........No, LOOK, it really is! 

Includes "Poo on the Pee Thing"! 


The Wi(ld Molestors.®)nners.:   


9. Liberace used his opening line "Have you ever seen a grown pianist?" 


8. 'Youtube' would have meant something else entirely if Bieber was born 50 years ago. 
Ian Renga  

7.  Semen makes him giggle! 


6. We'll meet again (In the Jacksonville courthouse) 


5. *bonus track only available through iTunes: Remember When I Said 'We'll Meet Again'?  Turns Out It's Because Of Painful Litigation Regarding Your Inappropriate Physical Contact (Will.I.Am's Show Me On This Harpsichord Where He Touched You Mix) 


4.5. That's a typo: it should read "WE'LL MEAT AGAIN" 
4. I'm not sure what a "rainbow on the river" is, but I don't want to hear that boy get one from Liberace.


3.5. ...and it's where the Redfern grows 
3. Liberace Dictionary:



2.5. Give me Liberace or give me depth! 
2. Eating Libera-cheese gives you pianist breath.


1.5. One might say Redfern was Liberace's protegay. 
1. Those aren't turquoise moons and stars under Redfern's lapel, even Liberace's jizz is flamboyant. 


God Bless any woman who uses the wordjizzand thinks nothing of it

C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s !!!!! 
To missalicia
And To All The Winners !!!!! 
Again, Thank You For Playing (with an underaged boy) !!!!!

- - - - -  



Liberace presents


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Comment by Shag on February 8, 2011 at 4:37pm
The new Liver-Crotchy!
Comment by MissA on February 8, 2011 at 3:11pm

One might say Redfern was Liberace's protegay.

Comment by MissA on February 8, 2011 at 3:00pm
Those aren't turquoise moons and stars under Redfern's lapel, even Liberace's jizz is flamboyant.
Comment by MissA on February 8, 2011 at 2:56pm
Jamie Redfern- the Bieber to Liberace's Jonas.
Comment by drwho on February 8, 2011 at 10:36am
And who can forget these classics
"Your 'Raindrops' Keep Falling On My Head"
"It's A Sin To Tell A Lie, So Don't Tell"
"Once every Year I Try Hetero"
"Til' there Was You I Thought I Was Straight"
Comment by drwho on February 8, 2011 at 10:26am
Also includes "The Free Candy Van Man", "NAMBLAn' Man", and  "Give Me Roses on my Piano"!
Comment by Donairs on February 8, 2011 at 9:19am
We'll meet again (In the Jacksonville courthouse)
Comment by MacSpruce on February 8, 2011 at 9:04am
And by "the world", he means Liberace's 'Tower of Power'.

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