Results Of An Abusive Childhood.
I was really surprised that there were no references to either The Rainbow of the Gay Flag ( The single most annoying appropriation of a vague, random symbol in History.; I’m sure Kermit was thrilled. ) or to ‘rivers of semen’ ( mellowpuma’s #4 came closest, but no cigar, both puns intended.).
C’mon, People ! I can’t help you if you won’t help yourselves !!!
[ ‘Lee’ would be disgusted, and would still continue smiling, so you’d never know, but his mother could tell (... if they weren’t both dead. Hmm ... I wonder if Jamie Redfern is dead.). ]
Liberace’s disappointment and his mother’s knowing it bring us to the first of our
The “Jesus Christ! That’s-Fuckin’-Raw-
(-Even-By-My-Standards-), -And-I-Love-It!®” Award.:
"Ah, A Baby Grand, Candles, and the sweet sound of meat being pulled out of a teenage boy's butt cheeks! There's nothing more priceless!" (Quote by Liberace)
The “Get It?®” Award.:
He has Blower's Cramp! Get it?
( It’s always funny when someone says “Get it?”, especially when it’s painfully obvious that there’s absolutely no way that The Listener didn’t get it. From now on, there will be a “Get It?®” Award as often as necessary, but let’s not go overboard, shall we? This isn’t a Corner, and Imma midget, not a Baby. Get It? )
The Redfern family eventually sued Liberace because he wouldn't stop tickling Jamie's ivories.
Includes the hit, "Sitting On Top Of Liberace"
I wonder why he squints while Liberace is behind him!
Why is Liberace's middle finger brown? .........No, LOOK, it really is!
Includes "Poo on the Pee Thing"!
The Wi(ld Molestors.®)nners.:
9. Liberace used his opening line "Have you ever seen a grown pianist?"
8. 'Youtube' would have meant something else entirely if Bieber was born 50 years ago.
7. Semen makes him giggle!
6. We'll meet again (In the Jacksonville courthouse)
5. *bonus track only available through iTunes: Remember When I Said 'We'll Meet Again'? Turns Out It's Because Of Painful Litigation Regarding Your Inappropriate Physical Contact (Will.I.Am's Show Me On This Harpsichord Where He Touched You Mix)
4.5. That's a typo: it should read "WE'LL MEAT AGAIN"
4. I'm not sure what a "rainbow on the river" is, but I don't want to hear that boy get one from Liberace.
3.5. ...and it's where the Redfern grows
3. Liberace Dictionary:
2.5. Give me Liberace or give me depth!
2. Eating Libera-cheese gives you pianist breath.
1.5. One might say Redfern was Liberace's protegay.
1. Those aren't turquoise moons and stars under Redfern's lapel, even Liberace's jizz is flamboyant.
God Bless any woman who uses the word ‘jizz’ and thinks nothing of it.
C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s !!!!!
And To All The Winners !!!!!
Again, Thank You For Playing (with an underaged boy) !!!!!
- - - - -
SITTING ON TOP OF THE WORLD - JAMIE REDFERN
Featuring RAINBOW ON THE RIVER and WE’LL MEET AGAIN