Bare-Assed Results, Revealed (Get It?).:
4. It's a Shitty Al -- Bum. (Get it? Al -- BUM? Get it? Isn't that just fiendishly clever?)
3. Ironically, Ralph was wearing his Double - Breast - ed suit when he got Bust - ed for sexual Ass - ault.
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The Midnight Ram-Blur.® (Get It?).:
How does he love thee, let him count the ways: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 116 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 ... wait ... his counting based masturbation fantasy has been interrupted by the implication that the model might be older than 35. Eww, she would probably want to have kids at that pont. And that shrinks ralph winn's boner beyond repair. He flips to the magazine's next pictorial, and begins counting again.
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The Name-Droppers.® (Get It?).:
6. It's enough to make you Ralph.
5. I didn't know that Ed McMahon had a singing career!
4. Hello ... Jerry!
3. Every shapely woman's dream is to be leared at by a fat Buddy Holly.
2. Liberachi kept up quite the facade for about ten minutes with his alter ego "ralph winn".
1. His cousin, Russ Meyer could never understand him.
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(Those Were Different Times
For Unrepentant Masturbators.®).:
3. So this is what they had before video vixens...
2, Its difficult to understand how homely single men endured existance before the internet. This can be clearly seen in this exhibit from "The Museum Of Homely Men's Pre Internet Masturbation Material".
1 .New from WINN RECORDS, also known as UNREPENTANT MASTURBATOR RECORDS ...
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What’s That Shit in the Background?®.:
Why is Ralph back to back with a Yeti?
Those angular marks surronding ralph winn are a reflection of how horny he is. That's what angular marks mean: Hornyness. Yup, welcome to "enlightenment".
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7. I would give the win to whoever came up with the title to this album.
6. Does this mean this is stripper music?
5. WTF...I bought the "mono" version and only got one cheek.
4.1. It was all fun and games, till somebody called ralph winn's mother, and he was grounded for a month.
4. Remember that time the guy called your home and, with a breathy voice, asked what you were wearing? That guy was ralph winn, and yes, he was masturbating.
3. Unfortunately, the pinnacle of Ralph's creativity and talent was achieved with the title he thought up for his album. The music itself, and everything else in his entire career, came a distant second.
2.1. Ralph is a filthy, cheeky bastard.
2. "I didn't know what to expect but a microphone hidden in the lady's toilet at a Denny's Restaurant took even me by surprise."
1.7. Why should he be Em-Bare-Assed? He's the one who is pimping his mother out!
1.6. Includes the hit single, "I'm gonna turn your Brown Eye Blue"!
1.5. Be honest! Do these ass cheeks make me look fat?
1.4. Oh, she's got buns on her head! That means I can poke her in the eyes while I fuck her ear lobes!
1.3. It's a good thing that he's wearing that tie! It's helping to hold his foreskin down!
1.2. Back in the day, she was considered a hottie! But, he was still considered an ugly Sumbitch!
1. HEEEEERREEE's Vaginie!
That was quite a bitchin’ batch, Shaggy. It had my arrested development howlin’ from the get go.
C o n g r a t u a t i o n s, Winn-ers (Get It?) !!!!!
You ALL showed your Asses admirably !!!
(Hey, am I the only one who noticed that Ralph Winn looks kind of like Eric Wareheim of
“Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!” and “Tom Goes To The Mayor”?
Just wonderin’ ... . )