Hyper-topical Bullsh@t That's Still Kinda Fun

Comment

Comment by LeatherShorts on February 14, 2011 at 9:36am

"White is purity, cleanliness, and innocence. Like black, white goes well with almost any color.

To the human eye, white is a brilliant color that can cause headaches for some. Too much bright white can be blinding.

In most Western countries white is the color for brides. In the East, it's the color for mourning and funerals. White is often associated with hospitals, especially doctors, nurses, and dentists. Some cultures viewed white as the color of royalty or of dieties. Angels are typically depicted as wearing white. In early Westerns the good guy wore white while the bad guy wore black."

White = Good

Black = Bad

(I heart the interweb)

Comment by Shag on February 11, 2011 at 10:03pm

Just think, after your Sentence is served, your tits will be sagging and your puss will be dry!

Comment by Shag on February 11, 2011 at 10:01pm

Mam, do you have a comment, or is your vagina going to speak for you?

Comment by antistar on February 11, 2011 at 1:23pm

Comment by antistar on February 11, 2011 at 10:52am

"Ms. Lohan, I'm afraid I'll still have to do my boobie.  *Ummbrrglaah* *koff* *kaff-kaff* Duty.  I'll have to do my duty.  You see."

Comment by MacSpruce on February 10, 2011 at 11:09pm

I hereby grant you a judicial discharge ... (*Splat*)

Comment by chuckkling on February 10, 2011 at 10:41pm

Defense: "If the dress doesn't fit, you must acquit."

 

Judge: "Guilty with a *snap*"

Comment by mellowpuma on February 10, 2011 at 10:21pm

Yes, mam, the prosecution has seen that one thing from the movie "Fatal Attraction", and has chosen to reject reviewing the proposed "motion".

Comment by Ian Renga on February 10, 2011 at 10:17pm

Continued from below:  in order to gain the sense memory of the experience, with full intent to return the merchandise the following week.  It is Ms. Lohan's firm belief that the end result of her performance as a thief, having benefited from her real world experience, would have the greatest impact on people who were recovering thieves, and thus, in effect, lowering the overall crime rate in the nation."


Judge:  "Ms. Lohan, is it true?  Are you attached to a project about a thief at this time?"


Public Defender: "Here is the official documentation of the deal pending your honor, dated 2 weeks before the alleged indiscretion.  Your honor, my client would like to show you another piece of evidence.  If it pleases the court."


Judge:  "No, that's quite alright.  This is all the evidence I need."

Comment by Ian Renga on February 10, 2011 at 10:03pm

"Your honor, it is my client's wish that we be allowed to screen some evidence in the form of her first big role at Disney.  It is about 90 minutes long and popcorn will be provided to the jury."

 

Judge Chambers:  "This is highly irregular.  You cannot offer popcorn to the jury. 

Not without soda.  Are you prepared to.."

 

Public Defender:  "Soda of course your honor.

 

Judge Chambers:  "If it pleases the court."

 

Public Defender:  "I think we can agree they look pleased your honor."

 

Judge Chambers: "Alright then.  Bailiff, kill the lights."

Judge Chambers:  "Bailiff, the lights please"

 

Bailiff:  (sniffling, in a British accent) "My apologies sir, right away."

 

Judge Chambers:  "Well Ms. Lohan, we've watched your movie.  And I must admit, you were exceptional."

 

Public Defender:  "Your honor, it is my client's belief that her art has helped a disproportionate number of people compared to the average offender that walks into your courtroom.  And I'm not just talking about catharsis and pathos your honor.  She firmly believes that her art makes her entitled to 'sense memory' exercises, precisely because she was about to play a thief in an upcoming role she found it imperative to do it in real life in order t

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page