Comedy Whirled

My dearest Slurpee, you’ve been my friend for many, many years

And on this day, when Slurpees are free, I am always brought to tears

-

I drive around to dozens of 7-11’s today all within my town

Getting my fix of sugar and artificial color which makes my face look like a clown

-

When I was a child, the choices were easy when you only came in the flavors of red and blue

But now I see that you’re Fanta, Pepsi, Twizzler, and even Mountain Dew

-

So much variety, so much fun, I think that I’m going insane

I’m twitching and shaking from all this icy goodness that’s slowly freezing my brain

-

I normally only choose one flavor when I decide to take the Slurpee ride

But today is different, I’m going nuts and making a “suicide”

-

So thank you 7-11 for your convenience and this cup full of legal crack

And Happy Birthday to the store that always keeps us coming back

-

Views: 104

Comment

Got a funny caption? Join Comedy Whirled!

Join Comedy Whirled

Comment by mellowpuma on July 25, 2011 at 5:50pm

Goin' nuclear so quickly is a sure sign of despiration.  

Yes, my mom was wearing a dunce cap, how can I protest that.  Yes, she did have big glasses too.  These are all facts.  The FACT you miss is how happy she looks.

*<B'D-E-< 

Kurt Vonnegut offered this simple platitude to all those looking to find a simple grandeous serenety "be a clown".  So you see, you contemptful mother hating hitlers (yeah, I went there) my mother actually posesses a wisdom you could only dream of.  (did you see how I didn't insult your mother there, thats cause I be classy like dat)

 

Best Regards, mellowpuma.

 

P.S. I'm telling YOUR MOM!

Comment by Van Full of Candy on July 20, 2011 at 9:23am

I honestly don't know how to respond to that level of slam. So put in my place by your superior dialectic firepower, any response I could formulate in an attempt at defense would only seem feeble at best and a bowl of urine served to the ghosts of my ancestors, at worst...

 

So I guess, in the end, all I can possibly say is...

 

Your mom.

 

*<B'D-E-<   <--- That's her, that's your mom, all broad shouldered and clown hatted with those stupid over sized sun glasses and that big toothy grin! HAHA! Your mom is an ASCII doodle in a comment box! Stupid. Stupid mom. You mom is a stupid mom!

 

I think my work here is done...

Comment by mellowpuma on July 19, 2011 at 12:15am

Icee's are way better. It's a known fact.  A Known Fact.  AKF. (:^F) that was a face. It was meant to represent the saying "a known fact". It was of a guy with big teeth, not a vampire.  A vampire would've been totally lamer-FAIL. You have been educated at the school of pain now.  You're welcome for being able to read my opinions.  I am not just trying to stir up trouble in the most obvious way possible!  I know I'm right!  RawwwOwww!  That was my war cry!  It was fearsome!  You may clean up your soiled undergarments now!  VICTORY! 

Comment by Bubba Licious on July 11, 2011 at 6:50pm
Free Slurpee Day?!  Dammit, I can't believe I didn't know that.  I really need to take my head out of my ass.  Beautiful poem, by the way.  Quite moving.
Comment by Ian on July 11, 2011 at 6:14pm
I was wondering if anyone would bring this up on this day... such fond memories of self-induced cryogenic deep freeze above the neck...

© 2019   Whirled Wide Network   Powered by Windmills

Badgers  |  Complain Complain Complain  |  Terms of Service