Comedy Whirled

Author's note: This is a repost of a short story that I had fun conjuring and writing. It was first published as "Squirrels and Cupcakes" at the other site. Hope you have fun reading it again.

What does cupcakes do to people? For me, it’s like yelling SQUIRREL to somebody who has ADHD; it distracts them from what they are doing. (It's like that talking dog in the movie "UP!") "What the fuck am I writing again?"


"Gimme! . . . gimme! . . . gimme! . . . GIMME!!!!" ~ just like when Bugs Bunny sees a carrot hanging in the air. What a maroon?!

Americans call it cupcake. British and Irish call it fairy cake ~ you might think that that sounds gay . . . well, it does sound gay but whatta hey! ~ there's nothing wrong with that. Cupcakes are small cakes designed to serve one person, frequently baked in cups ~ small cups . . . big cups . . . red cups . . . aluminum cups . . . you can even bake it in a bra with AA cups or triple D cups for all I care. One can add frosting and decorate it with sprinkles and make it glittery and artsy or just plain fartsy.

Do you know that one can become addicted to these sweet treats? They are YUMMY in the tummy!

My friend Sophia called this afternoon and invited me to come over because she was making cupcakes. I am soooooo addicted to her cupcakes so I told her that I’d be right over. I was already daydreaming and drooling about her delicious cupcakes, "HMMM, hmm, HMM, hmm . . . HMMMM!" Then I saw a SQUIRREL running across the neighbor’s fence! Squirrels are furry animals. They are delectable and scrumptious ~ what the fuck??? Who said that? (I am a member of PETA ~ People Eating Tasty Animals!)

Concentrate now . . . cupcakes . . . delicious . . . rich . . . phenomenal cupcakes!

I parked my car in the driveway; when I got out of my car I could already smell the yummy goodness of the cupcakes. Sniff! Sniff!

When I walked into the foyer the rich chocolatey aroma aroused my senses. I yelled "Sophia?! I’m here!" The scent was extra delish today. I wondered what the secret ingredient was this time. She was busy tending to the new batch in the oven and there was already a batch cooling on the counter. Sophia was wearing a deep cut shirt and a short tight skirt. I grabbed a cupcake from the first batch and started eating it. "Ohhhhhh, choco-late!" It was warm and still gooey. I tore the cupcake in half and in the middle was a warm cream cheese concoction; it’s like finding a secret sauce in the middle of the richest chocolate cupcake I’ve ever tasted. I licked the treasure in the middle and told my friend, "This is so freaking gooooood Sophia!" She grunted in response.

She was mixing the vanilla frosting; my favorite, when she said, "It’s hot in here. The oven was on most of the afternoon." I was licking my fingers clean when she took her shirt off. Just like that. Whoa! What the fuck is she doing, I thought. I couldn’t help but notice the black lace bra that she was wearing. I immediately grabbed another cupcake from the counter and start spreading the frosting on it. I was trying to concentrate on covering every part of her cupcake with the frosting. I was frosting my fingers when she asked me how my day was. "It was okay," I stammered trying not to look up and ogle. She does have an incredible body with large firm breasts and long shapely legs. Her skin looks creamy and luscious like the vanilla frosting. I found myself wanting to touch her, but instead I picked up another cupcake. Now I was holding a cupcake on each hand. As I started to wonder what Sophia’s "cupcakes" would feel like, suddenly I start feeling jealous! Tommy is a lucky bastard!!!

"So, what’s the secret ingredient today?" I asked while trying to arrange the cupcakes on the serving plate. She scooped frosting from the bowl and touched my nose with the spatula. She looked at me and grinned. She came closer and whispered in my ear, "guess what?" She grabbed my hand and the bowl of frosting then she led me down the hallway towards her bedroom. I started giggling nervously and asked her what the heck was she doing? Once in the bedroom she put the bowl on the night stand and quickly took off her skirt exposing her sexy black thong. She came closer to me and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. I closed my eyes and that’s when she kissed me; that is the first time a woman had ever kissed me like that. My heart was pounding, and there was a rushing sound in my ears. I have never been so turned on in my life and the next thing I knew I was down to my wet panties too. She started to giggle and pulled me onto the bed. We started jumping on the bed and she grabbed the spatula, she started spanking me with it and the frosting from the spatula splattered everywhere, including on me. We rolled around and kissed some more, and then she started to lick the frosting off my body ~ my arms, my tummy and then my breasts. My nipples popped to attention and I can see that hers are aroused too. I arched my back and moaned in pleasure when she took my nipple into her mouth and then . . .

The door opened. Tommy walked in holding a platter of cupcakes, "Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?" He gasped when he realized that his wife and I were almost naked and covered with frosting on their bed. Sophia shook her beautiful ass at him and asked him to join us. He replied, "I’m okay. These cupcakes are really good! I’m going to the family room to finish these and watch some golf."

As he left, Sophia and I just looked at each other. I started to giggle and then I said, "WOW! He must be REALLY addicted to your cupcakes!"

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Comment by Codename: Spydergirl on November 18, 2010 at 10:14am
YUMMY goodness!!! Thanks for reading.

@ Phuk ~ Tom is not gay, he just don't know what he wants . . . this is where the oompa-lumpas march in!
Comment by Shag on November 14, 2010 at 8:32am
I like my cupcakes filled with cream too!
Comment by Joe Blow on November 11, 2010 at 12:38am
I like stories
Comment by PHUKUHP on November 10, 2010 at 11:12pm

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