JJJ23's Blog (14)

Titles for unauthorized biographies on Donald Trump.

Tom Cruise or Kristen Stewart?

You've got some real nice looking girl parts.

Is it boner in here or is it just me?

Wanna go for a ride on my moped?

Those must be cheese pants cause your ass is lookin' gouda!

You ever seen a sub basement?

I'm looking for a new place to stay, how much is the rent in your ass?

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put my D in your V and then C all over your B's.

Wanna buy a drink for the man who just broke the clinic record for most abortions…

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You know what I'm talking about here, stuff to describe someone in a way that hides what you really think of them, or just taking a jab at them with passive aggression or just thinly veiled aggression.

Here's a dumb idea for a TV show, like I've had before. It's about an anthropomorphic vial of blood from someone's nipple and it's pal Stan who's just a man like me and maybe you or that guy, and they're a part time crime fighting duo(they make no attempt to mask themselves in any way). But they both have a barely functioning addiction to crack cocaine. So when they go to fight the crime, say it's a bank robbery, they get there and say to the bank people being held up "Hey, we'll help you… Continue

Ok here's two new stupid ideas I had for TV shows. The first is called Elvis Clone DDS. It's a show about a clone of Elvis Presley (fat old Elvis) who is a dentist by day and by night he works as a hotel clerk at a place called The Heartbreak Hotel (but not the one you're thinking of). He's got a friend that works with him at the dentist office who may or may not secretly be Sammy Davis Jr. Over the course of the show's run the two begin a gay relationship. At some point in the show it is…

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I say bring MadTV back. What say you?

Here's an idea for a show called 1 Off (as in one and done). I'm serious with this one, so this isn't gonna be funny hopefully. It would be a show where each episode stands alone as an episode of it's on show apart from any episodes that follow. I don't know if it would be an hour or half an hour, it would depend on what sort of episode it was. Each show could be comedy, drama, mystery, sci fi or whatever. The episodes wouldn't necessarily be one pilot after another, just a typical episode from… Continue

Donald Trump was never, has never been, a politician in any shape or form. He was never on the PTA at his kids' school (as far as I know). He was never mayor of Wasilla, he was never first mate on a carnival cruise ship. But still he wants to be president of the United States of America. From 0 to a trillion(ran casinos into the ground in fucking Atlantic City). So go crazy: Donald Trump was never...

I want to make a t.v. show about reincarnation/interior design. It's called Trading Species and to save time I'll use you the reader for example in what the pilot would be. So to start we'd have you and a friend or neighbor of a different species, say you have a butterfly pal, kill yourselves on camera. You guys could do a murder suicide thing or whatever you want, have fun with it get creative. Then the minds and souls of you and the butterfly will switch bodies reanimating them somehow, our… Continue

(Son is 14, Dad is however old, Mom is also some undetermined age.)

 

Son: Dad, when will I become a man?

Dad: Well son it's puberty time for you, and when puberty is over you'll be a man.

Son: So when will puberty be over for me?

Dad: For boys it's usually over in the late teens.

Mom: Yes and for girls it may be over a little earlier.

Dad: You shut your mouth! I'm not paying you to talk!

Son: Dad, why are you paying this prostitute to…

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Last night I had an idea for a tv show. It's called GhostCat P.I.: 2182 and it's about the ghost of a cat who is a private investigator in the year 2182. His name is Mittens Magoo, he looks like a normal grey house cat wearing a fedora and over coat similar to Humphrey Bogart at the end of Casablanca, while all the other characters wear brightly colored future clothes. He works in like an old school P.I.'s office like from 50's film noirs. His girl friday would be played by Naomi Watts. He… Continue

Media Person: Hello there sports star that was a great game you guys just won there. Will you talk to us for a few moments about it.

Sports Star: Yeah it was really good we won, alot better than losing would have been.

MP: Yes but on the other side of things for the other team maybe not so much right?

SS: Right yeah they didn't play so good like we did, but at the end of the game when we ended up with more points I think that was the real turning point for us that put us…

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Best funny photo from the intersites, could be from here or that other webpage this one was born of( dare not speak it's ,dieing, name) or wherever else. So please shit your opinion here, My fav-or-ite pic(I'd pull it up if I knew how, but I'm dumb) was the one Slant had on a contest at one point with a young drunk guy holding a beer in what looked like a cheap motel room and there's two old ladies there, one of them is hunched over throwing up. Send in your best, thanks for particpating!