Mellowpuma's Blog – November 2010 Archive (15)

Those Were Different Times #95

Introducing: the Monteux Vienna Philharmonic performing "Symphonie Fantastique"

Results:

6. Genie! That's not what I meant by "hang on"!

-drwho

5. she's a C.I.L.F. (Cynic I'd Like to Fawn over)

-antistar

4. The seductive horse thief faces justice at last.

-Donairs

3.5. Major Nelson finally got sick of wishing for The…

Those Were Different Times Contest #94

Introducing "Christmas with Rico"

Results:

8. Rico never heeded the "Don't eat the yellow snow" warning.

-chuckkling

7. Includes the timeless classics, "I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus", and "I'll be Homo for Christmas"!

-Shag

6. he climbs down the chimney & passes judgment on you.

-antistar

5.75. ... requires a paid escort dressed as a Smurf™.…

Those Were Different Times Contest #93

Introducing, an informational selection from the United States Department Of Agriculture, for those of us in the general breeding population who don't know how to buy meat: "HOW TO BUY MEAT".

Results:

5. Also featuring the "Loading Zone" announcements!

-drhwo

4. I only borrow meat.

-chuckkling

3. Jab the meat with a sharp object such as a knife or an icepick. If it moves…

Those Were Different Times Contest #92

Introducing "EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO OPERATE A CB RADIO"

Results:

And the award for "Best Fictional Dirty CB Radio Transmission" goes to:

UUUUH... BREAKER BREAKER MMMMMMM DONKEY DONG AAAAAAAH YOU OUT THERE.

YEA, YOU GOT THE NEW YORK HANGER BANGER HER DARLIN... WHATS YOUR HANDLE???

UUUUH I WAS LOOKING FOR DONKEY DONG...... AHHH OVER

YEA, YOU GOT THE BIG MONKEY SPUNK GA…

Those Were Different Times #90

Introducing "YOYOY IS BAROK" whatever that means.

Results:

4.75. Remind me again which prehistoric animal had red fur with star-shaped spots?

4.5. His expression was caused by his having just realized that women with bigger tits DO exist.

4. They must have really good hair and makeup people in The Land Of Shittily-Drawn Caves.

-theDIRTYmidget

3. Includes the hit, "Everybody Wang…

Those Were Different Times #89

Introducing Mr. Jay Snell and the record where he somehow preaches "Confessions of a Teen-Age Girl".

Results:

8. "East End Crusade" is the far east corner of the prison cafeteria.

-antistar

7. He was heard calling the Lord during his rear end crusades with teenage girls.

-drwho

6.My daughter...an anonymous teen confessed to me........"…

Those Were Different Times #88

Introducing Mrs. Tammy Faye in "Run Toward The Roar" Enjoy!

Results:

7. ...of cash registers

-drwho

6. I don't normally go for white women but...

in this case, Imma make an exception.

all the good locals have been eaten by faster, richer, better looking lions.

you remind me of a peacock I once ate.

-LL Bein

5.75. There, you will find the cosmetics / pharmaceutical…

Those Were Different Times #87

Introducing: Mr. Richard Miller and his album "JESUS USE ME".

(believe it or not, I didn't see the stumps when I posted this.)

Results:

4. ...to play the organ with my organ.

-Ian Renga

3.67824. ... to learn to 'French'.

3.5. ... as a drug mule (because I have this huge, cool and very inconspicuous tour-bus, of course.).

3. ... to test the limits of the sub-woofers of…

Those Were Different Times #86

I have to admit, I've been holding out on you guys. Grodin was a fail, so now the emergency chute.

Introducing the beloved Mr. Muhammad Ali in "Muhammad Ali and His Gang VS Mr Tooth Decay"

(aIso, I might expect some rhyming on this one)

Results:

And the award for "Best Parenting Advice that Lewis Black Might Give" goes to:

Dear Parents Who Bought This Album,

You know what? Just tell your kids to shut up…

Those Were Different Times #85

Introducing "THE ORIGINAL SOUND TRACK ALBUM FROM SUNBURN".

Results: (finally, sorry I had a bit of a thing going on, etc.)

And The Best "Grodinism" Award goes to:

"What's goin' on on this wacky beach, fa cryin' out loud! I'm gettin' sunburn watching the pretty lady & some guy's parachuting right behind me! Can anyone say 'crazy'? Sheesh!"

-antistar

5. Amazon has threatened me with a harassment…

Those Were Different Times #84

Introducing Mr. Uri Geller in his eponymous album "Uri Geller".

Results:

8. Geller was later shot and killed during an east coast/west coast battle with the Amazing Kreskin.

-Chuckkling

7. From the new album: “Bacne Breakout” comes eight new tracks that are bound to make a blemish on the charts!!!!!

-When pus comes to shove

-Blackhead sheep of the family

-All I want to do when I wake up…

Those Were Different Times #83

Introducing, Uncle Bud Robinson, as he I suppose, retells his harrowing experience in "Uncle Bud's Hospital Experience". I'm not sure how the cowboys fit in though, hmm.

Results:

7. With the hit song.. "I loved her, but now she's gonorrhea"

-Michaelred73

6. featuring the hit, "Old McDonald had a pharmaceutical"

-Jams3kds

5.5.Includes the hit, "Nurse, Can…

Those Were Different Times #82

Introducing: Mr. Ricky Skaggs and his album "Don’t Cheat in Our Hometown".

Results:

7. the running title was don't shit on your doorstep

-bigjas

6. And no dilly dallying either

-Donairs

5. Contains the hit songs:

Your cheatin' hole

Manwhore

Fudgestick and donutholes

Glory Glory hole-a-lueia

Honey, why's there a condom in your hair?

Beauty Parlor…

Those Were Different Times #81

Results:

12. but I have 26 stencils to complete album title.

-chuckkling

11. b/w "I Also Have Diarrhea"

-antistar

10. Contains the hit single, and only the hit single, "French Cowlick".

-MadAdam

9. So basically I have more songs than I have friends.

-missalicia

8. it's a version of The Ring of the Nibelung lasting for 15 hours…

Those Were Different Times #80

Yes, after much delibiration pontification exaserbation and otherbations, I've decided it's time for returnification to record cover humiliation. Congradulations.

Tonight's subject is a fine group of lads known as STRYKEN, and their smash up album FIRST STRIKE. Now I've been saving this one for just such a special occasion, so without further adoificaton, have at.

Results:

9.…