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Mellowpuma's Blog (352)

Those Were Different Times #405

Those Were Different Times #405

Added by mellowpuma on August 8, 2019 at 11:01am — 11 Comments

Those Were Different Times #404

Those Were Different Times #404

Added by mellowpuma on August 8, 2019 at 10:55am — 14 Comments

Those Were Different Times #403

Those Were Different Times #403

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4. "Damn Jenny, I told you air-hockey was dangerous for girls!"

-Ian

3. Jenny just couldn't stop falling for the old telescope black eye prank.

-Mervin

2. Her album was in the lead until she was beaten out by Chris Brown.

-Iverneil

1. Poor Jenny can't afford another pack of Tareytons.

-MacSpruce…

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Added by mellowpuma on May 15, 2019 at 3:00am — 16 Comments

Those Were Different Times #402

Those Were Different Times #402

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3. Well Pam, first you need to step back from your expectation of finding a husband with the head of a cartoon dog and the body of a snake.

-JJJ23

2. Sadly for Pam, she always ends up being the girl people opt to kill when given a choice.

-Mario!!!

1. Try ISIS.

-Iverneil…

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Added by mellowpuma on May 15, 2019 at 3:00am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #401

Those Were Different Times #401

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5. "Fifty NOs and a YES means YES."

-Ian

4. She would later star in the sequel, Dr. No Means No!

-Mario!!!

3. ♫Fieldings. Nothing more than ♫ fieldings...

-Karigrant

2. Song 1: We're Not A Great Spy Team

-JJJ23

1. When he shakes her she doesn't stir – the good old Cosby martini!

-MacSpruce    (oof, that's hard)…

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Added by mellowpuma on February 14, 2019 at 12:30pm — 20 Comments

Those Were Different Times #400

Those Were Different Times #400

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4, The Incredible Husk.

-Karigrant

3. The real reason Dr Frankenstein's monster went ballistic, this was his junk.

-Mervin97

2, Do you guys have any idea how many "rotten wang" caps I'm not typing?

-rotwang

1. Then Dorothy asked “But scarecrow!! I thought you wanted a heart??”

-iverneil…

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Added by mellowpuma on February 14, 2019 at 12:00pm — 19 Comments

Those Were Different Times #399

Those Were Different Times #399

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3,"Stop trying to brainwash us with the power of suggestion, Oliver Stone!"

-VomitFlop

2. Sure it's effective, but it does require quite a lot of self-amputation.

-Mario!!!

1. "...I'm going to say one word: Plastics. That's all you're allowed to eat now."

-Ian…

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Added by mellowpuma on January 13, 2019 at 3:30am — 20 Comments

Those Were Different Times #398

Those Were Different Times #398

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3. That game received a very spoor rating.

-Iverneil

"Well, the thing is, they aren't exactly being propelled by jetpacks."

"Also coming soon to the Smegma Genesis!"

2. Pooper Mario Bros.

-VomitFlop

No one messes with this powerful squat. -I mean squad.

1. That's it, private, you are relieved of your dookie!

-Rotwang…

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Added by mellowpuma on January 13, 2019 at 1:00am — 17 Comments

Those Were Different Times #397

Those Were Different Times #397

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When it came to spreading Christmas Cheer, they really phoned it in back in the Fifties.

4. Not to be confused with "Hanukkah up Your Ass."

-Mario!!!

"Pardon me, sir, but what is a Jerky boy?"

3. "CF phone home."

-VomitFlop

2. ...would prove to be the cause of death, clogging both the aorta and the jugular with pine needles, bits of glass ornaments and eggnog.

-Ian

1. "I…

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Added by mellowpuma on December 23, 2018 at 10:00pm — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #396

Those Were Different Times #396

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--- a blue christmas ... ---

3. He had a round little belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jizz.

-KariGrant

It was Santa's last stop of the night and he emptied his sack.

2. Santa always comes in December, and sometimes he comes in Mae.

-MacSpruce

1. ♪ Don't stand so Claus to me. ♪

-VomitFlop…

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Added by mellowpuma on December 23, 2018 at 10:00pm — 16 Comments

Those Were Different Times #395

Those Were Different Times #395

4. "Yes, there were giant toilet paper rolls in space."

-Ian

3. One small step for man-on-mankind.

-Rotwang

2. Featuring the Yiddish hit, "Somewhere Oy Vey, the Rainbow.

-KariGrant

1. From the folks who brought you George S. Patton Ocean Cloud Pancakes.

-JJJ23…

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Added by mellowpuma on October 30, 2018 at 6:30am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #394

Those Were Different Times #394

Results:

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5. No more piano lessons, mom.

-Rotwang



4. Even after fully militarizing in the streets the spotlight continued to elude Kane.

-Ian

3. Featuring the hit' "I've Never Heard Of This Rambo Character, I have No Idea What You're Talking About" and the the ballad "Second Blood".

-JJJ23



2. Sorry no shirt no solo.

-Mervin97



1.0001. Gland on the…

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Added by mellowpuma on October 30, 2018 at 6:00am — 15 Comments

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983



so a bunch of nerd senators are going after kdog because of some weird female hysteria.

 

then it's like, ok, she seemed scared when she was talking to the…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 30, 2018 at 4:30pm — 4 Comments

Those Were Different Times #393

Those Were Different Times #393

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3. "I hope you like chamber music."

-Ian

2. Don't come a-knockin' if the coffin is rockin'. 

-MacSpruce
1.

Buried With Children

-Mario!!!

Added by mellowpuma on September 25, 2018 at 4:30am — 16 Comments

Those Were Different Times #392

Those Were Different Times #392

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3. It'll give you a tromboner!

-Mario!!!

2. "Now includes Music to Watch Large Girls By featuring Sal Iva on Tuba."

-Ian

Trumpets for Strumpets

1. aka Herpes Alpert and the Gonorrhea Brass

-MacSpruce…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 25, 2018 at 4:00am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #391

Those Were Different Times #391

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4. Even if you only listen to it once, you have to register as a sex offender.

-Mario!!!

3. It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.

-jjj23

Organ ickily grown

2. Some of the tunes have words, others are hummers.

 -MacSpruce

1. *all the compositions in the songbook are written to be played with only one…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 22, 2018 at 1:00am — 18 Comments

Those Were Different Times #390

Those Were Different Times #390

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2. For everyone's sake it's better than being the gassy giant.

-Mervin97Oh,

1.5. he's friendly alright. I see he's fondling Twin Peaks again. And the less said about that episode with the lighthouse, the better. 

1. You misunderstood; I didn't say he showers the village with gold …-macspruce…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 22, 2018 at 12:30am — 18 Comments

Those Were Different Times #389

Those Were Different Times #389

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and the special "Oof" award goes to:

Sure, he tried to look like he was all business, but everyone could tell Gary was a total phoney.

-Mario!!!



Unfortunately for Gary, business was no longer interested in getting down with him.

2, "So, who the fuck were you before you went into that phone booth?"

-VomitFlop

Putting a gloryhole in a…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 11, 2018 at 4:30am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #388

Those Were Different Times #388

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4. Such "happy occasions" include searching for the real killers.

-JJJ23



♪ ♫ ♬ When the blade hits your eye just like a pizza pie there's more of you eh? ♪ ♫ ♬

"Hey Cake, Pizza and Watermelon, come over here and play with me!

3. ""Only the penitent man may pass."

-Ian



2. The Stab never caught on like the Twist or the Mashed Potato, probably…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 11, 2018 at 4:30am — 31 Comments

Those Were Different Times #386

Those Were Different Times #386

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... and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:...

and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:Historians believe that the nuclear holocaust that wiped out 95% of humanity, not to mention most other life on Earth, was triggered when, in July 2018, the leader of the US House Intelligence Committee presented President Trump with this photographic evidence of a secret nuclear missile…

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Added by mellowpuma on July 6, 2018 at 5:00pm — 24 Comments

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