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Mellowpuma's Blog (340)

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983



so a bunch of nerd senators are going after kdog because of some weird female hysteria.

 

then it's…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 30, 2018 at 4:30pm — 4 Comments

Those Were Different Times #393

Those Were Different Times #393

Added by mellowpuma on September 25, 2018 at 4:33am — 14 Comments

Those Were Different Times #392

Those Were Different Times #392

Added by mellowpuma on September 25, 2018 at 4:28am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #391

Those Were Different Times #391

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4. Even if you only listen to it once, you have to register as a sex offender.

-Mario!!!

3. It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.

-jjj23

Organ ickily grown

2. Some of the tunes have words, others are hummers.

 -MacSpruce

1. *all the compositions in the songbook are written to be played with only one…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 22, 2018 at 1:00am — 18 Comments

Those Were Different Times #390

Those Were Different Times #390

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2. For everyone's sake it's better than being the gassy giant.

-Mervin97Oh,

1.5. he's friendly alright. I see he's fondling Twin Peaks again. And the less said about that episode with the lighthouse, the better. 

1. You misunderstood; I didn't say he showers the village with gold …-macspruce…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 22, 2018 at 12:30am — 18 Comments

Those Were Different Times #389

Those Were Different Times #389

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and the special "Oof" award goes to:

Sure, he tried to look like he was all business, but everyone could tell Gary was a total phoney.

-Mario!!!



Unfortunately for Gary, business was no longer interested in getting down with him.

2, "So, who the fuck were you before you went into that phone booth?"

-VomitFlop

Putting a gloryhole in a…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 11, 2018 at 4:30am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #388

Those Were Different Times #388

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4. Such "happy occasions" include searching for the real killers.

-JJJ23



♪ ♫ ♬ When the blade hits your eye just like a pizza pie there's more of you eh? ♪ ♫ ♬

"Hey Cake, Pizza and Watermelon, come over here and play with me!

3. ""Only the penitent man may pass."

-Ian



2. The Stab never caught on like the Twist or the Mashed Potato, probably…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 11, 2018 at 4:30am — 31 Comments

Those Were Different Times #386

Those Were Different Times #386

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... and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:...

and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:Historians believe that the nuclear holocaust that wiped out 95% of humanity, not to mention most other life on Earth, was triggered when, in July 2018, the leader of the US House Intelligence Committee presented President Trump with this photographic evidence of a secret nuclear missile…

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Added by mellowpuma on July 6, 2018 at 5:00pm — 24 Comments

Those Were Different Times #387

Those Were Different Times #387

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4. Featuring:"My Guitar is Too Big To Play Alone""Somebody Get Me Off... The Top of This Lighthouse"

-Ian

3. Hey, cheer up, don't sell short on yourself. -oh I meant sell yourself short.

 -Rotwang

2. Sammy, are you suggesting rape?

-Iverneil

1. He was sued for the song, "Murdering My Rivals Again in Margaritaville".

-JJJ23…

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Added by mellowpuma on July 6, 2018 at 5:00pm — 19 Comments

Those Were Different Times #385

Those Were Different Times #385

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Results:(too much good here to sort out, great work)

and the special "It Just Works" award goes to:Et tu Gary? (this doesn't really fit but I think it's a funny sentence)

-JJJ23

4. Still in the Nam and Eatin' Too Much Ham.

-JJJ23

4. His dyslexic Cockney rendering of "What about me butt? 

-MacSpruce

4. Just released in Europe, with his hit single, "Alopecia,…

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Added by mellowpuma on May 20, 2018 at 1:00pm — 22 Comments

Those Were Different Times #384

Those Were Different Times #384

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4, featuring her powerful hit single, "Amy won the Speeelling Bee."

-KariGrant

3. She's a Shining star.It's for people who find Where's Waldo just too damn frustrating.

-Mario!!!

2.  Mr. and Mrs. Arngrim, I'm afraid your daughter has gotten into character work and she may well be lost forever to podcasts and comedy albums

.-JJJ23

1.  Sometimes referred to as "The…

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Added by mellowpuma on May 20, 2018 at 1:00pm — 17 Comments

Those Were Different Times #383

Those Were Different Times #383

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And unto her, the lord said "Fear not, my child, the all you can eat buffet will reopen tomorrow at Sizzler."

-Rotwang



Me so thorny!

This is the Edna civilization as we know it. 

 -MacSpruce



Even Bon Jovi thinks that's a pretty ridiculous prayer to live on.

-VomitFlop



I was sorry to hear that Edna has mono. No…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 25, 2018 at 4:30am — 34 Comments

Those Were Different Times #382

Those Were Different Times #382

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"Or just keep on creeping in your Free Candy van.""Or just keep on creeping in your Free Candy van."-VomitFlop

If you see anything suspicious, please give us a heads up

.-Iverneil



Putting the "bi" in "binoculars". 

-Rotwang

Alvis has left the bull dung.

-KariGrant



Hide and watch Alvis and the Barnetts play hide the…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 25, 2018 at 4:00am — 23 Comments

Those Were Different Times #380

Those Were Different Times #380

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3. Right after he tucked that shirt into his asshole.

-Iverneil

2. To see the rear side of the album sheath you have to just reach-around.

-Rotwang

1. It's the follow up to his debut album, "First I Fist Myself."

-Mario!!!…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 9, 2018 at 4:00am — 17 Comments

Those Were Different Times #381

Those Were Different Times #381

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1. Apparently, Kim trips over some beautiful people at a Hollywood party and falls under ground with a lady whose curiosity about his feminine name makes him combative. I plan on checking it out, once I get past my fear of that handkerchief.

-Mario!!!…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 9, 2018 at 4:00am — 13 Comments

Those Were Different Times #379

Those Were Different Times #379

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5. What an askhole!

-Mario!!!

4. Track 7 "Side Of The Face Effects"

-JJJ23

3.2. Just because I Asked you to kill us

3. Chin chin a me, Chin chin a me, chin chin a me..

-Iverneil

2. "You let Harvey Weinstein do it and he didn't even ask."

-Mervin97

1. To visit Chernobyl?

-JJJ23…

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Added by mellowpuma on January 31, 2018 at 4:00am — 24 Comments

Those Were Different Times #378

Those Were Different Times #378

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4. Featuring his number one single, ♪"Felines, nothing more than felines..."♫

-KariGrant

3. Featuring Scat Crotch Fever

-Iverneil

2. Track #1 "Seriously, The Cats Killed Hans So You're Gonna Have To Sing Tonight"

-JJJ23

1, "You don't understand, man. It's more than a feline."

-VomitFlop…

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Added by mellowpuma on January 31, 2018 at 4:00am — 19 Comments

Those Were Different Times #377

Those Were Different Times #377

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3. This is Tell Savalas holding his automatic in such a way that it will scrape the skin off of his index finger.

-Rotwang



2. "Who loves you baby? The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms, that's who."

-Ian

1. this is

Jelly Savalas...…

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Added by mellowpuma on December 29, 2017 at 5:30pm — 19 Comments

Those Were Different Times #376

Those Were Different Times #376

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5. Includes the hits...

"Pill Poppin' Art"

"My Hair Hurts"

"Has Anybody Seen My Dealer?"

-Gerhardguffaw

4. I've always heard Art was a Methed actor.

-Iverneil

Art: This is some wild shit, Muzzy!

Muzzy: I haven't started playing yet.

3. It was the #2 album of 1961 to listen to while high on speed, right behind the classic "Anything Else".

-JJJ23

I2.…

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Added by mellowpuma on December 29, 2017 at 5:30pm — 26 Comments

Those Were Different Times #375

Those Were Different Times #375

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And the special "Break Out The Dictionary And Bow In Awe" Award goes to:

dog girl and doggerel

-MacSpruce

5. I’ll take the wood chipper.

-Iverneil

4. Not to be confused with their follow up smash hit, "I'll Take You Doggy Style."

-Mario!!!

3. Reason for divorcing? Irreconsilable Fetishes.

-MadAdam

2. Things got awkward when they split him in the…

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Added by mellowpuma on December 6, 2017 at 6:30am — 25 Comments

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