Mellowpuma's Blog (352)

Those Were Different Times #405

Those Were Different Times #404

Those Were Different Times #403

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4. "Damn Jenny, I told you air-hockey was dangerous for girls!"

-Ian

3. Jenny just couldn't stop falling for the old telescope black eye prank.

-Mervin

2. Her album was in the lead until she was beaten out by Chris Brown.

-Iverneil

1. Poor Jenny can't afford another pack of Tareytons.

-MacSpruce…

Those Were Different Times #402

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3. Well Pam, first you need to step back from your expectation of finding a husband with the head of a cartoon dog and the body of a snake.

-JJJ23

2. Sadly for Pam, she always ends up being the girl people opt to kill when given a choice.

-Mario!!!

1. Try ISIS.

-Iverneil…

Those Were Different Times #401

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5. "Fifty NOs and a YES means YES."

-Ian

4. She would later star in the sequel, Dr. No Means No!

-Mario!!!

3. ♫Fieldings. Nothing more than ♫ fieldings...

-Karigrant

2. Song 1: We're Not A Great Spy Team

-JJJ23

1. When he shakes her she doesn't stir – the good old Cosby martini!

-MacSpruce    (oof, that's hard)…

Those Were Different Times #400

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4, The Incredible Husk.

-Karigrant

3. The real reason Dr Frankenstein's monster went ballistic, this was his junk.

-Mervin97

2, Do you guys have any idea how many "rotten wang" caps I'm not typing?

-rotwang

1. Then Dorothy asked “But scarecrow!! I thought you wanted a heart??”

-iverneil…

Those Were Different Times #399

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3,"Stop trying to brainwash us with the power of suggestion, Oliver Stone!"

-VomitFlop

2. Sure it's effective, but it does require quite a lot of self-amputation.

-Mario!!!

1. "...I'm going to say one word: Plastics. That's all you're allowed to eat now."

-Ian…

Those Were Different Times #398

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3. That game received a very spoor rating.

-Iverneil

"Well, the thing is, they aren't exactly being propelled by jetpacks."

"Also coming soon to the Smegma Genesis!"

2. Pooper Mario Bros.

-VomitFlop

No one messes with this powerful squat. -I mean squad.

1. That's it, private, you are relieved of your dookie!

-Rotwang…

Those Were Different Times #397

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When it came to spreading Christmas Cheer, they really phoned it in back in the Fifties.

4. Not to be confused with "Hanukkah up Your Ass."

-Mario!!!

"Pardon me, sir, but what is a Jerky boy?"

3. "CF phone home."

-VomitFlop

2. ...would prove to be the cause of death, clogging both the aorta and the jugular with pine needles, bits of glass ornaments and eggnog.

-Ian

1. "I…

Those Were Different Times #396

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Results:

--- a blue christmas ... ---

3. He had a round little belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jizz.

-KariGrant

It was Santa's last stop of the night and he emptied his sack.

2. Santa always comes in December, and sometimes he comes in Mae.

-MacSpruce

1. ♪ Don't stand so Claus to me. ♪

-VomitFlop…

Those Were Different Times #395

4. "Yes, there were giant toilet paper rolls in space."

-Ian

3. One small step for man-on-mankind.

-Rotwang

2. Featuring the Yiddish hit, "Somewhere Oy Vey, the Rainbow.

-KariGrant

1. From the folks who brought you George S. Patton Ocean Cloud Pancakes.

-JJJ23…

Those Were Different Times #394

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5. No more piano lessons, mom.

-Rotwang

4. Even after fully militarizing in the streets the spotlight continued to elude Kane.

-Ian

3. Featuring the hit' "I've Never Heard Of This Rambo Character, I have No Idea What You're Talking About" and the the ballad "Second Blood".

-JJJ23

2. Sorry no shirt no solo.

-Mervin97

1.0001. Gland on the…

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983

so a bunch of nerd senators are going after kdog because of some weird female hysteria.

then it's like, ok, she seemed scared when she was talking to the…

Those Were Different Times #393

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3. "I hope you like chamber music."

-Ian

2. Don't come a-knockin' if the coffin is rockin'. 

-MacSpruce
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Buried With Children

-Mario!!!

Those Were Different Times #392

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Results;

3. It'll give you a tromboner!

-Mario!!!

2. "Now includes Music to Watch Large Girls By featuring Sal Iva on Tuba."

-Ian

Trumpets for Strumpets

1. aka Herpes Alpert and the Gonorrhea Brass

-MacSpruce…

Those Were Different Times #391

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Results:

4. Even if you only listen to it once, you have to register as a sex offender.

-Mario!!!

3. It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.

-jjj23

Organ ickily grown

2. Some of the tunes have words, others are hummers.

 -MacSpruce

1. *all the compositions in the songbook are written to be played with only one…

Those Were Different Times #390

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2. For everyone's sake it's better than being the gassy giant.

-Mervin97Oh,

1.5. he's friendly alright. I see he's fondling Twin Peaks again. And the less said about that episode with the lighthouse, the better. 

1. You misunderstood; I didn't say he showers the village with gold …-macspruce…

Those Were Different Times #389

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and the special "Oof" award goes to:

Sure, he tried to look like he was all business, but everyone could tell Gary was a total phoney.

-Mario!!!

Unfortunately for Gary, business was no longer interested in getting down with him.

2, "So, who the fuck were you before you went into that phone booth?"

-VomitFlop

Putting a gloryhole in a…

Those Were Different Times #388

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Results:

4. Such "happy occasions" include searching for the real killers.

-JJJ23

♪ ♫ ♬ When the blade hits your eye just like a pizza pie there's more of you eh? ♪ ♫ ♬

"Hey Cake, Pizza and Watermelon, come over here and play with me!

3. ""Only the penitent man may pass."

-Ian

2. The Stab never caught on like the Twist or the Mashed Potato, probably…

Those Were Different Times #386

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... and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:...

and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:Historians believe that the nuclear holocaust that wiped out 95% of humanity, not to mention most other life on Earth, was triggered when, in July 2018, the leader of the US House Intelligence Committee presented President Trump with this photographic evidence of a secret nuclear missile…