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Mellowpuma's Blog (348)

Those Were Different Times #401

Those Were Different Times #401

Added by mellowpuma on February 14, 2019 at 12:31pm — 5 Comments

Those Were Different Times #400

Those Were Different Times #400

Added by mellowpuma on February 14, 2019 at 12:00pm — 8 Comments

Those Were Different Times #399

Those Were Different Times #399

Added by mellowpuma on January 13, 2019 at 3:30am — 20 Comments

Those Were Different Times #398

Those Were Different Times #398

Added by mellowpuma on January 13, 2019 at 1:07am — 17 Comments

Those Were Different Times #397

Those Were Different Times #397

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When it came to spreading Christmas Cheer, they really phoned it in back in the Fifties.

4. Not to be confused with "Hanukkah up Your Ass."

-Mario!!!

"Pardon me, sir, but what is a Jerky boy?"

3. "CF phone home."

-VomitFlop

2. ...would prove to be the cause of death, clogging both the aorta and the jugular with pine needles, bits of glass ornaments and eggnog.

-Ian

1. "I…

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Added by mellowpuma on December 23, 2018 at 10:00pm — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #396

Those Were Different Times #396

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--- a blue christmas ... ---

3. He had a round little belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jizz.

-KariGrant

It was Santa's last stop of the night and he emptied his sack.

2. Santa always comes in December, and sometimes he comes in Mae.

-MacSpruce

1. ♪ Don't stand so Claus to me. ♪

-VomitFlop…

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Added by mellowpuma on December 23, 2018 at 10:00pm — 16 Comments

Those Were Different Times #395

Those Were Different Times #395

4. "Yes, there were giant toilet paper rolls in space."

-Ian

3. One small step for man-on-mankind.

-Rotwang

2. Featuring the Yiddish hit, "Somewhere Oy Vey, the Rainbow.

-KariGrant

1. From the folks who brought you George S. Patton Ocean Cloud Pancakes.

-JJJ23…

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Added by mellowpuma on October 30, 2018 at 6:30am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #394

Those Were Different Times #394

Results:

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5. No more piano lessons, mom.

-Rotwang



4. Even after fully militarizing in the streets the spotlight continued to elude Kane.

-Ian

3. Featuring the hit' "I've Never Heard Of This Rambo Character, I have No Idea What You're Talking About" and the the ballad "Second Blood".

-JJJ23



2. Sorry no shirt no solo.

-Mervin97



1.0001. Gland on the…

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Added by mellowpuma on October 30, 2018 at 6:00am — 15 Comments

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983



so a bunch of nerd senators are going after kdog because of some weird female hysteria.

 

then it's like,…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 30, 2018 at 4:30pm — 4 Comments

Those Were Different Times #393

Those Were Different Times #393

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3. "I hope you like chamber music."

-Ian

2. Don't come a-knockin' if the coffin is rockin'. 

-MacSpruce

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Buried With Children

-Mario!!!…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 25, 2018 at 4:30am — 16 Comments

Those Were Different Times #392

Those Were Different Times #392

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Results;

3. It'll give you a tromboner!

-Mario!!!

2. "Now includes Music to Watch Large Girls By featuring Sal Iva on Tuba."

-Ian

Trumpets for Strumpets

1. aka Herpes Alpert and the Gonorrhea Brass

-MacSpruce…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 25, 2018 at 4:00am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #391

Those Were Different Times #391

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4. Even if you only listen to it once, you have to register as a sex offender.

-Mario!!!

3. It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.

-jjj23

Organ ickily grown

2. Some of the tunes have words, others are hummers.

 -MacSpruce

1. *all the compositions in the songbook are written to be played with only one…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 22, 2018 at 1:00am — 18 Comments

Those Were Different Times #390

Those Were Different Times #390

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2. For everyone's sake it's better than being the gassy giant.

-Mervin97Oh,

1.5. he's friendly alright. I see he's fondling Twin Peaks again. And the less said about that episode with the lighthouse, the better. 

1. You misunderstood; I didn't say he showers the village with gold …-macspruce…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 22, 2018 at 12:30am — 18 Comments

Those Were Different Times #389

Those Were Different Times #389

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and the special "Oof" award goes to:

Sure, he tried to look like he was all business, but everyone could tell Gary was a total phoney.

-Mario!!!



Unfortunately for Gary, business was no longer interested in getting down with him.

2, "So, who the fuck were you before you went into that phone booth?"

-VomitFlop

Putting a gloryhole in a…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 11, 2018 at 4:30am — 15 Comments

Those Were Different Times #388

Those Were Different Times #388

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4. Such "happy occasions" include searching for the real killers.

-JJJ23



♪ ♫ ♬ When the blade hits your eye just like a pizza pie there's more of you eh? ♪ ♫ ♬

"Hey Cake, Pizza and Watermelon, come over here and play with me!

3. ""Only the penitent man may pass."

-Ian



2. The Stab never caught on like the Twist or the Mashed Potato, probably…

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Added by mellowpuma on August 11, 2018 at 4:30am — 31 Comments

Those Were Different Times #386

Those Were Different Times #386

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... and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:...

and the special "Doctor Strangetweet" Award goes to:Historians believe that the nuclear holocaust that wiped out 95% of humanity, not to mention most other life on Earth, was triggered when, in July 2018, the leader of the US House Intelligence Committee presented President Trump with this photographic evidence of a secret nuclear missile…

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Added by mellowpuma on July 6, 2018 at 5:00pm — 24 Comments

Those Were Different Times #387

Those Were Different Times #387

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4. Featuring:"My Guitar is Too Big To Play Alone""Somebody Get Me Off... The Top of This Lighthouse"

-Ian

3. Hey, cheer up, don't sell short on yourself. -oh I meant sell yourself short.

 -Rotwang

2. Sammy, are you suggesting rape?

-Iverneil

1. He was sued for the song, "Murdering My Rivals Again in Margaritaville".

-JJJ23…

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Added by mellowpuma on July 6, 2018 at 5:00pm — 19 Comments

Those Were Different Times #385

Those Were Different Times #385

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Results:(too much good here to sort out, great work)

and the special "It Just Works" award goes to:Et tu Gary? (this doesn't really fit but I think it's a funny sentence)

-JJJ23

4. Still in the Nam and Eatin' Too Much Ham.

-JJJ23

4. His dyslexic Cockney rendering of "What about me butt? 

-MacSpruce

4. Just released in Europe, with his hit single, "Alopecia,…

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Added by mellowpuma on May 20, 2018 at 1:00pm — 22 Comments

Those Were Different Times #384

Those Were Different Times #384

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4, featuring her powerful hit single, "Amy won the Speeelling Bee."

-KariGrant

3. She's a Shining star.It's for people who find Where's Waldo just too damn frustrating.

-Mario!!!

2.  Mr. and Mrs. Arngrim, I'm afraid your daughter has gotten into character work and she may well be lost forever to podcasts and comedy albums

.-JJJ23

1.  Sometimes referred to as "The…

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Added by mellowpuma on May 20, 2018 at 1:00pm — 17 Comments

Those Were Different Times #383

Those Were Different Times #383

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And unto her, the lord said "Fear not, my child, the all you can eat buffet will reopen tomorrow at Sizzler."

-Rotwang



Me so thorny!

This is the Edna civilization as we know it. 

 -MacSpruce



Even Bon Jovi thinks that's a pretty ridiculous prayer to live on.

-VomitFlop



I was sorry to hear that Edna has mono. No…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 25, 2018 at 4:30am — 34 Comments

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