Giant, sugar-crazed cockroaches.
Giant, sugar-crazed rats.
Giant, sugar-crazed mobsters.
Giant, sugar-crazed housewives of Jersey Shores shopping.
Giant, sugar-crazed nudists.
Giant, sugar-crazed Methodists.
Giant, sugar-crazed Jews for Jesus.
Giant, sugar-crazed Vegans.
Giant, sugar-crazed toddlers.
Giant, sugar-crazed Yankees.
Plastic Army men,
Payments to the court,
Transportation to Mars,
A golf ball,
Flowers make you open a run-down hotel in India.
Plants cause your alcoholic mother to show up at the science fair.
They take over your okra bed.
Spent blossoms turns earthworms orange.
They develop killer gams.
Turns Man-in-the-moon gay.
When worn around the neck, blossoms cause old people to move into the rundown hotel.
Pollin turns aspirin into Viagra.
Makes butlers expose money laundering records.
You wheeze more.
Edwin H Land,
Island of Dr. Moreau
Valley of the Dolls
LaBrea Ishtar Pits
The Mayo Clinique counter
The Forbidden Titties City
The Moulin Rude
The Chaz Mahal
Palm Sunday Islands
Great Wall of Fiestaware
They have better cardboard.
They use strong strapping Tape.
Tight fitting lids.
Tropical climate is good for the Styrofoam peanut plantations.
Bountiful Bubble Wrap.
Tissue Paper made from old revolution handbills.
Employees are allowed to work in Boxer shorts.
Easy to read labels.
No weight limit makes it easy to ship your loved ones.
Sometimes you can make bouquets out of other things, like...
Flowerettes made of Viagra,
Bucket o’ Buds,
Kayaking of the Dead,
BREAKING NEWS (source in small part: http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.cfm?release=2012-138)
(NASA announced a recent survey has counted approximately 4,700+/-1500 Potentially Hazardous Asteroids hurling at or near the Earth. “The new results come from the asteroid-hunting portion of the WISE mission, called NEOWISE. The project sampled 107 PHAs to make predictions about the entire population as a…Continue
I can’t in good conscience recommend these:
Starches and other Carbs,
Turds and/or Gummy Bears,
Splenda flavors for summer include:
Splenda in the grass,
Dingle and Rawberry,
Busted Cherry Whine,
Candygram for Mango,
The Pilgrims were not very good carpenters.
Too many Witches; not enough Hazel.
Many of the Pilgrims caught the Colony Clap.
John Wayne was born too late to tell them, even though he wanted to.
There were thirteen colonies. Thirteen is an unlucky number. Perhaps if they had stopped at twelve…
Really? It’s about bees?? Sorry. My bad.
You can only take so many orders from a Queen.
Two possibilities: Killer Bees and Killer Tomatoes.
Cedar of Sianai Raised Flower Bed,
Wooden Pot Bench, dude.
Utility Carts (Utility deposite extra),
Recent studies have indicated possible reasons why the "Lost Colony" got lost:
They used mapquest.
Their map was drawn with invisible ink.
Their GPS batteries went down.
Ironically, the Roanoke settlers didn't know how to row.
The Spanish kept them up too late at night playing the "Macarena."
They killed the guy in the crow's nest 'cause he kept yelling, "Recalculating."
The Captain retired and moved to Florida.
They demanded their own…Continue
Advanced Ticks for Dogs, Cats and certain Lizards,
Kibbles & Shits,
Salpo (Available in California only),
99 44/100% Pure-ina,
Royal Canaan Dog Food (with free sample pack of Gaza Strips inside!),
Puppy Chow Mein,
Bile-Jac Dry Heave Dog Food,
Tartar Contrail Bisquits,
Martha Sewer Recycled Pet Toys,