All Blog Posts Tagged 'girls' (4)

Birds do it, bees do it, even perverts in the trees do it. Let’s do it, let’s fuck online.

Chances are, if you’re on the internet (which as of this printing is still the only way that I know you could be reading this, though if you know of any others, please let us know), then you’re probably reading this with one hand in your pants, leisurely pleasuring yourself. That’s just a science fact. Because as you know, every new invention since the dawn of man has come about due to a need to…

It's no secret that Van Full of Candy is a supporter of hot teachers. It's a brave, bold stance that we have long taken when ever a poor, misunderstood educator is arrested for doing things that we wish had been done to us in school. Of course we couldn't possibly defend EVERY apple polishing head mistress every time we heard about another one getting carted away. That would become a full…

In my last blog, I asked for tips how to seduce Shakira.

I have updates!  But I am still a virgin. :(

This is the woman I love, her name is Shakira.  My friend works in her building.  He used to let me in so I could try to talk to her, but now he calls the police.

I have…

Dear Friends,

I am a virgin.  I would like to have sex with a girl.  This is the girl I would like to have sex with,

her name is Shakira.  My friend works in her building and he told her about me because I am single.  She is friendly and you can find her email online, so I sent…