Comedy Whirled

September 2011 Blog Posts (23)

YAY! I'm the featured comic on StupidAssQuestions.com all this week! [Friday]

Learn how to help a stalker grow with today's question . . .

 

SAQ - Blog 9/30/11

 

Dear StupidAssQuestions.com

 Some guy called me last night and said he saw me getting undressed. I said “WHAT” and he said, “I will call you right back ok? I said, “Ok”. But when he did I didn’t…

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Added by Gisele Noel on September 30, 2011 at 7:28am — No Comments

YAY! I'm the featured comic on StupidAssQuestions.com all this week! [Thursday]

Get your hands dirty reading today's question . . .

 

SAQ - Blog 9/29/11

 

Dear StupidAssQuestions.com

I don’t have a job but I’m really moving up a lot of levels in Farmville. Could this be a sign that I should be a farmer? Maybe I should buy a cow and a…

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Added by Gisele Noel on September 29, 2011 at 9:00am — No Comments

YAY! I'm the featured comic on StupidAssQuestions.com all this week! [Wednesday]

Learn how to maximize returns on the hypocritical oath . . .

 

SAQ - Blog 9/28/11

 

Dear StupidAssQuestions.com

I love talking on the phone and getting to know new people. So while I’m at work I call sex lines. I’m a Christian so I try to find…

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Added by Gisele Noel on September 28, 2011 at 7:34am — 1 Comment

Lesbians Take Down Plane With Heat Seeking Kissle

“Get these monkey fightin’ lesbians off this Monday through Friday plane!”

 

The greatest threat to American air travel, right now, as I am typing this very important piece of internet fluffery, is not exploding shoes, or slightly larger than tiny bottles of shampoo, or the stinky guy. No, commercial air travel enemy number one, is lady kisses!

 …

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Added by Van Full of Candy on September 27, 2011 at 3:24pm — 2 Comments

YAY! I'm the featured comic on StupidAssQuestions.com all this week! [Tuesday]

Today learn how to stretch your resources for mankind . . .

 

SAQ - Blog 9/27/11

 

Dear StupidAssQuestions.com…

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Added by Gisele Noel on September 27, 2011 at 7:30am — No Comments

Ask Dr. M Puma ... IN SPAAAACE!

Hello "friends" Now It seems to me that all you people have problems, deep deep deep problems .... IN SPAAAACE!  Well, suffer no longer, "Dr" M. Puma is here ... IN SPAAAACE! to answer your questions and provide advice ... IN SPAAAACE!…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 26, 2011 at 7:00pm — 17 Comments

YAY! I'm the featured comic on StupidAssQuestions.com all this week! [Monday]

Read today’s question & learn how can cash in on the motherload of unemployment …

 

SAQ - Blog 9/26/11

 

Dear StupidAssQuestions.com,

Would I get away with writing my own ransom note and not show up to work for a while? I don’t feel like working anymore…

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Added by Gisele Noel on September 26, 2011 at 7:30am — 2 Comments

Those Were Different Times #159 The Relaxabration!

Those Were Different Times #159 The Relaxabration!

Introducing: "RELAXING WITH COUGAT" by Xavier Cougat

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Results, BITCH!

 

7. Warning: Stay awake when taking this class at Xavier U

-Gerhardguffaw

6. "BITCH!!I  I told you to put the toilet seat up when you were done!!"

-Iverneil

5. she's the newest member of The X-Men, Submissive-crawler

-antistar

4. If you play it backwards, the…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 23, 2011 at 10:00pm — 17 Comments

One Million Moms Hate Balls

During the winter break of my Sophomore year at the University of Nevada, Reno (go fighting Soft Sixteens!) I took a backpacking excursion through the inhospitable wilderness of the South American rainforest. I hiked for nine days with my trusty guide Tuo Uu-nu Eepchak. I was but a fool child, ill prepared for the conditions I would face in these endangered woods. Tuo became more than a guide to me, through our perilous journey he became mentor, teacher, father, lover, and the night that he…

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Added by Van Full of Candy on September 23, 2011 at 2:19pm — No Comments

Guys shouldn't get everything...

Once again, boys have been given everything. Not only do they have penises and better porn, they now can add “Bros Icing Bros” to the list of everything a girl really wants in life.



If you are stupid and unfamiliar with this beautiful game, it’s pretty simple. Bro 1 gives Bro 2 the girliest drink possible, a warm, diabetes ridden, Smirnoff Ice. Bro 2 must then get into pussy position (drop to one knee) and chug. However, if Bro 2 has an Ice hidden in his man purse and/or satchel, then… Continue

Added by natalie paige on September 23, 2011 at 5:43am — No Comments

NFL to launch investigation into Bills, Redskins, and Lions 2-0 starts.

The National Football League issued a statement today saying that it will look into possible reasons why the Detroit Lions,  Buffalo Bills, and Washington Redskins are still unbeaten this late into the season. In two games, the Lions have scored 75 points prompting many league officials to raise their eyebrows. “75 points? Yeah, I would believe it if it were the Detroit Pistons; but the Lions no way” said Carl Rivers, a 15 year statistician for the…

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Added by Jams3kds on September 22, 2011 at 2:30pm — 1 Comment

Those Were Different Times #158 Theladyjouncingabration!

Those Were Different Times #158 Theladyjouncingabration!

Introducing: "It's A Wonderfull Life"

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Wonderesults:

3.

 

 



-Ian Renga

2.…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 19, 2011 at 10:00pm — 12 Comments

Ask Dr M. Puma.

Hello "friends" Now It seems to me that all you people have problems, deep deep deep problems.  Well, suffer no longer, "Dr" M. Puma is here to answer your questions and provide advice. 

 

So make with the unwellness…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 16, 2011 at 4:24pm — 22 Comments

Movie Review: “Creature”

I’m sorry. I am so very, very sorry.

 

Let me explain…

 

What have I done? My god, what have I done?

What have I done? My god, what have I done?

 

I’ve reviewed a lot of things. I generally pick those movies and television…

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Added by Van Full of Candy on September 16, 2011 at 10:30am — 2 Comments

penises

Penises have always, always confused me. And when I say confuse, I kind of really mean that I have always been jealous of any person with a penis. You people with your penises; you live a charmed life.

 

But alas, no matter how long I chased after this “fairy tale” life. I was never able to capture this wanting. No, this need, to pee standing up.

 

It happened when I was seven. I accidently walked in on my brother in the bathroom, and there he was. Peeing and…

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Added by natalie paige on September 15, 2011 at 8:47am — 4 Comments

Those Were Different Times #157 TheNotTheCarsThatPlayMusicabration!

Those Were Different Times #157 TheNotTheCarsThatPlayMusicabration!

Introducing: THE CARS THAT EAT PEOPLE

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Results:

5. Be advised, trouble spots seem to be roadways and parking lots.

-iverneil

4. The Cars that Eat People II:  The SUV that contracted HIV on the streets of Philadelphia.

-jessicaligula

3. "What is a better Peter Weir-directed film than 'The Truman Show', Alex?"

 -theDIRTYmidget

2. hey'll spare…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 14, 2011 at 11:00pm — 34 Comments

Get Your Digital Diddle On: It’s Only Natural

Birds do it, bees do it, even perverts in the trees do it. Let’s do it, let’s fuck online.

Chances are, if you’re on the internet (which as of this printing is still the only way that I know you could be reading this, though if you know of any others, please let us know), then you’re probably reading this with one hand in your pants, leisurely pleasuring yourself. That’s just a science fact. Because as you know, every new invention since the dawn of man has come about due to a need to…

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Added by Van Full of Candy on September 13, 2011 at 2:12pm — 2 Comments

Those Were Different Times #156 The NoOneUnder18AdmittedWithoutAGuardianabration

Those Were Different Times #156 The NoOneUnder18AdmittedWithoutAGuardianabration

Introducting: "WHIEN THE EAIRTH CRAICKED OPEN". And yes, I will need to see some ID.

 

Update, then results.

After doing some research, what with blogs and whatnot, I believe this to be an oddly big budget ultra christian end of days movie which was deceptively repackaged and/or boob-ed up for european audiences.  In the following picture, that  7 horned rhinocerous biblical…

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Added by mellowpuma on September 11, 2011 at 2:00pm — 37 Comments

2011 Caption Whirled Power Rankings - Update

 

 

Here are the current power rankings through 9-8

 

3 points for Gold, 2 for Silver, 1 for Bronze.

 

 

1. MacSpruce - 62 points

2.…

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Added by Comedy Whirled on September 9, 2011 at 12:30am — 3 Comments

Do I look like a fucking prostitute?!?

No seriously, do I?! Because I got asked to give some dude a blow job while walking through central park…in broad fucking daylight.

 

My favorite part of this whole situation was I had just come from an interview… I was in a fucking pencil skirt, for Christ’s sake!

 

His asking price, you ask? Ninety-one dollars.

 

….you couldn’t scrounge up nine more dollars to make it an even hundred, eh big spender?

 

And lets not forget that I this…

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Added by natalie paige on September 5, 2011 at 8:41pm — 3 Comments

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