July 2012 Blog Posts (25)

 THEY SAID WHAT??

2012 LONDON OLYMPICS EDITION…

Run, Run, Run.

Bones.

Pee, sniff pee.

BIG BONE!

Butts.

RUN, RUN FAST!!

Belly rubs.

Perimeter Check.

Bones.

Howl at moon.

Those Were Different Times #184: The Revoltabration!

Introducing:

"SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN "Elves' Revolt" "

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Results:

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3.

"A Majors event." -- SPIN

"A full 79 cents worth of entertainment!" -- Melody Maker

"Belongs on the shelf of any elf-respecting collector." -- Rolling Stone

-MacSpruce

2. I agree with you! They all look revolting.

-Buttermilk

1. "I wanna know how the fuck you fucking fuckers…

In Sante Fe it was 57 at night. Now I'm in Oklahoma and it's 105 ALL NEXT WEEK! So, I've had to improvise:

Go to Dollar movie every day. You're not there to watch. You're there to survive.  

Sit the mall.

Libraries aren't just for books.

Take your pet to Petsmart in the afternoon. If approached say, "She's just looking."

Get a Big Gulp. Take it home and nest it between your legs.  

Go into Braums. Get a twist cone and lick it real slow. Then go to…

RESULTS: THEY SAID WHAT?

BORDER-LINES CONTEST

 …

Guada Loopie,

Assissickness,

Montezuma's Castle Revenge,

Puebloat,

Kocaspelli,

De Vargas Veins,

Contemporary Farts,

Lincoln Blinkin' Nodding-off,

Paseo de Paralysis,

Heart Aztec,

Those Were Different Times #183: Spockhaircutabration!

Introducing: "ROCK 'N DISCO MR. BULL FROG Country Style &HANG * &COTTIE"

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Results

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And the special "Ode To Me" Award goes to:

♪♫ Jeremiah was a Vulcan!

Was a good friend of Hang's

He never understood the boy's finger-'V'

But he helped him meld his mind

Yeah, he 'country-styled' his mind

Singin'-----

Joy to the…

The Slappahoe's

Sosueme tribe

Running beaver

Burnt toast

Remember the good old days, when the history channel was all about letting us know that hitler was (spoiler) not just bad, ... but really, really bad?

... And the discovery channel showed only hellaciously boring footage of animals being annoyed at the film crew, killing stuff, being killed, and /or screwing while being killed.  How did they even make that boring?  Answer: super dry English dudes, who sounded like the'yd just woken up from a cozy nap.

No longer.  Apparently…

Those Were Different Times #182:  Eaglehaslandedabration!

Introducing: "HOLD O TO YOUR FREEDOM" by TONY BRAZIS

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Results:  Images!

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2. 

-Ian Renga

1. …

Cumulo-numbness,

St. Elmo's Heartburn,

Ice Turds,

Kelvin-Helmhotz Irritability,

Lightning Balls,

Air Tumors,

Novaya Heimlich Effect,

Aurora Boriecallous,

Super Cell Anemia,

Subtropical Cyclopsis,

Chicken Sedan,

Potato Rag-topped Chicken Salad,

Italian Fiesta Casserole,

Sloppy Jalopy-Joe hot dish,

Wagoneer Wheel Casserole,

Baked Maseratti,

Chicken DeSoto,

Baked Nashed Potatoes,

Monterey Chicken,

Alfaromeon Noodles,

Waukegan Wishbone

Neutral Cowgirl

The Wet Burrito

Froggy Style

The Rusty Knuckle

Brooklyn…

Atilla the hunted

Joan of Arches

Billy the kidding

William the Conch order

The Desert Faux

The thief of baggage

Baby lace Nelson

Machine bun Kelly

Wine,

Storm,

Fallout,

Tornado,

Science experiments gone wrong,

Torture chamber,

Peter,

Root,

Coal hole,

Unfini--

Those Were Different Times #181: The Stababration!

Introducing: "MUSIC FOR HAPPY OCCASIONS STAB STAB DOIN' THE STAB in High Fidelity"

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Results:

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... and the "In Phenomanly Bad Taste" Award goes to:

OJ and Nicole's wedding song

-slant

6.75 Problem is, 'The Stab' simply has no hook.

6.5 Some people really know how to shiv it up!

6. Featuring: ♪♫ The Way to a Man's Heart is Between His Left 4th or 5th…

The beast that wouldn't shut up

The Creature with the crab rangoon

The Crawling pie

It came from bed bath and beyond

Carnival of soul sisters

Night of the giving bread

3 points for Gold, 2 for Silver and 1 for Bronze

Results through 6/29/12 - Halfway…

Feel free to post anything funny.

 Insecurity Guards,

French Pressers,

Stripper Police,

Keyless Grips,

Labyrinth Retrievers,

Hoarse Handlers,

Intention Designers,

Red Tape Explorers,

Modestly Attractive Cabbies,

Glass Blower Blowers,