Those Were Different Times #311
2. When it comes to attention-getting, it's hard to beat the parrot and shtick approach.
1. Before her parents could react, the bird swiftly decapitated her.
Those Were Different Times #312
5. Honey Dew was sweet as sunshine. Carnegie Mellon, on the other hand, tasted like Pittsburgh.
4. Georgie always had a flair for the melondramatic.
3 . Sammy, listen, there never was a Watermelon Eating Contest. You need to stop now."
2.8. Tune in next week for another episode of "Let's Kill the Fat Kid".
2.1. We told him the seeds…