Comedy Whirled

April 2014 Blog Posts (7)

Things on sale at Earth Day Sales:

Rocky Road Ice Cream,
Road Construction Signs,
Dirt,
Clay Aiken CDs,
Dusty Springfield Posters,
Toxic Avenger DVDs,
Earthenware Bowls,
Earth Shoes,
New Jersey,
Souvenir Vials of Toxic Contaminated Soil,

Added by KariGrant on April 29, 2014 at 5:18pm — 9 Comments

High School Senior Suspended for Attempting to Crown Miss America His Prom Date (with Update)

YORK, Pa. – A Pennsylvania high school student has been suspended for asking Miss America to prom during her visit to his school.

Eighteen-year-old Patrick Farves received three days of in-school suspension for asking the current Miss America, Nina Davuluri, to accompany him to his senior prom, despite warnings from school officials beforehand.

“My parents always told me to shoot for the moon,” Farves commented, before quickly looking over each of his shoulders, concerned that…

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Added by Ryan on April 22, 2014 at 12:50am — 5 Comments

Those Were Different Times #246

Those Were Different Times #246

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3. Tonight she sleeps with the fish.

-Gerhardguffaw

2. Esmerelda was the best damn hooker in Fogarty's Cove. 

-MacSpruce

1. Mary had to kill every last fish in the sea before he proposed.

-Ian Renga…

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Added by mellowpuma on April 20, 2014 at 5:30pm — 12 Comments

Those Were Different Times #247

Those Were Different Times #247

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3. Nobody puts anal retentive baby in a crack den.

-gerhardguffaw



2.5Any success he ever had was only achieved by riding on his father's coattails.

2. There you go, m'Lord, clean as a whistle it is now. That'll be one ha'penny, guv'nor.

-Macspruce



1.75. ♪♫Down in the buttocks, down in the buttocks...lord have mercy for the boy…

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Added by mellowpuma on April 20, 2014 at 5:30pm — 17 Comments

HARDER, BETTER, FASTER, FURIOUSER: The Prologue, by @RyanSaysThings (The Fast and the Furious Fanfiction)

Note: Inspired by this tweet

PROLOGUE

            What could possibly make a man despise not only roller rinks, but roller skates and everything related to them as a whole? Maybe, due to his large stature, he wasn’t the fastest of skaters, and the other children never let him forget it. Maybe he…

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Added by Ryan on April 16, 2014 at 9:17pm — 2 Comments

Those Were Different Times #245

Those Were Different Times #245

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8. The first hint that Molar Power was the wave of the future.

-Gerhardguffaw

7. Mouth big enough to hold 3 out of 5 Dicks.

-drwho

6. One of these nights, we have to find some women.

-Iverneil

5. Stop looking down in the mouth.

-Mike McHuman



4. Latest polls show 3 out of 5 men like to be inside another man's…

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Added by mellowpuma on April 9, 2014 at 11:30pm — 17 Comments

Those Were Different Times #244

Those Were Different Times #244

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7. Boy George brought this picture to his hairdresser for inspiration.

-drwho

6. I didn't realize that Sally Fields had a mustache.

-MIke McHuman (impressive)

5. "Ah, this seems to be the problem. You were liberally using Vidal Buffoon."

-VomitFlop

4. Donald Trump's dad

-Gerhardguffaw

3. The lead…

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Added by mellowpuma on April 9, 2014 at 11:30pm — 17 Comments

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