Flooding in low lying areas,
Flower lined pathways made of muddy plywood,
Rippled and swollen art,
The Incredible Honk,
The Peuce Hornet,
Prince of Cotterpins,
Atilla the Honeybun,
Project Blue Book containes names of men with the blue balls.
The Center for UFO Studies is a test kitchen for Unlevened Faccia Ovens.
Project Grudge was started by my ex-husband.
Project Sign was started over two thousand years ago by followers of Brian, who held up a shoe as a sign.
Ironically, Project Magnet attracted very few followers.
UFOs, (except in some extremely rare cases) cannot be used as IUDs.
The Rudyard Keplar Space Telescope first…Continue
Auto Collision Repair Scam Technology,
Vin Diesel Technology,
Medicine Park Assistant,
Carpenter's Nail Tech,
Wood. Work it.
Visit the Adult Toy Stork,
Naked Pinchers on the Internet,
Sexy Lawn Jury,
Chevy Cavalier Spaniel,
Frou Bucher Mountain Dog,
Sealy Posture-pedic Terrier,
Bar-b-que'n Chicken Pox,
Tennis Open Sores,
Goutboard Motor Boating,
I Believe I Can Flail,
Son of a Creature-Man,
Try a Little Tenderizer,
Somewhere Over the Rainbow Coalition,
Project Runaway Baby,
I Want To Know What Lipo Is,
Give A Little Whore,
Didn't I Know You Knew I Knew You Knew How Much I Dubbed You,
Those Were Different Times #173: The Remorseabration!
Introducing: "Capn Jack AREN'T YOU ASHAMED?"
7. Capn Jack: "Could you be more Pacific?
6. It's ACHMED goddamit ACH MED!!!
5. "... that all your sea-shanties end with
drunken, freshly-buggered galley-boys,
necks broken, descending to the dark, briny depths?"
Alter a quote, saying, book title, movie line etc.
The hatchback of Notre dame
In one ear and gone tomorrow
Got all my ducks in the road
The Emperors new jeans
We're like two ships that crash in the night
Murder she was
HORNET – Upper right section of Paul Schaffer’s CBS Orchestra.
COTTON STAINER – At the Rodeo, downwind of the Skoll Dippers.
TUMBLEBUG – At the Laundromat, in the dryers.
GRASSHOPPER – At the Car Wash, waxing on and off.
TIGER BEATLE – Geez, did he pork Ringo, too?
LADYBIRD – Underground, near Lyndon.
COCKEROACH – Strewn about the parking lot, after a Joe Cocker concert.
DUNG BEETLE – Feeds on the floor of Congress.
MAY FLIES – Uhm, in…Continue
I am not a normal person. I am aware of this fact. I have been well aware of this fact since I was four and single-handedly got all siblings banned from fields trips at my brothers school while my family lived in Seoul.
In my four-year old defense, yah don’t put the four-year old version of myself (or any version of myself really) in front of a never-ending table of gingerbread house ingredients and expect those ingredients not to end up in my mouth.
There are a few facts in…Continue
Added by natalie paige on April 16, 2012 at 7:24am — No Comments
Neither I, nor Comedy Whirled recommend following these tips. They're just stuff my Cousin told me.
Pole dancing in thunderstorms is highly discouraged.
During winds of 45mph or greater, use Maximum Hold or Freeze hair spray only.
In category F-3 or greater tornadic activity, Depends can help.
In category F-3 or greater tornadic activity, go to the lowest point in hour house. Try to get between the carpet and the slab, preferably UNDER the…Continue
I love how I love me
I like the way I walk
The way I look tonight
Cant smile without me
I just called to say I love myself
You've got some real nice looking girl parts.
Is it boner in here or is it just me?
Wanna go for a ride on my moped?
Those must be cheese pants cause your ass is lookin' gouda!
You ever seen a sub basement?
I'm looking for a new place to stay, how much is the rent in your ass?
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put my D in your V and then C all over your B's.
Wanna buy a drink for the man who just broke the clinic record for most abortions…Continue
Pea Diddy Weavel,
Gnatalie Deep Wood,
Mealy Bugsy Malone,
Ewe Dirty Rats,
Emergency substitute for Rubber Cement,
Hold Photos in Family Album,
Stick your gum to the headboard without leaving a mark,
Cushion between toes,
Emergency Hair Gel,
Scare away the smaller slugs,
Baseball Glove conditioner,
When dried and carved, use as subway tokens,
Mark your trail in the park,
Bacterial Blight or Flight,
Bacterial Wilt the Stilt,
Bacterial Spot of Tea,
Corn Smut Porn,
Non-Picketing Potato SCABS,
White Jell-o Mold,
Downey Soft Mildew Breeze,
Septoria-Clitorial Leaf Spot –Hardest to find,
Those Were Different Times #172: The Wampumabration
Introducing: Lottie Adams "I'm A Different Me"
10. ...but the mighty oak still thrills me to the bone.
9. Yes Lottie you're drunk and wondering around in the woods, and it's not different when it's every day.
8. (The artist formerly known as Stands with Spruce)
7. "... than I was…
3 points for Gold, 2 for Silver and 1 for Bronze.
1. FroDoh! - 29…Continue
Added by Comedy Whirled on April 3, 2012 at 9:00pm — No Comments