All Blog Posts (875)

300: Rise of a Gruyere,

Mr. Briebody and Parmesan,

Non-Bond-Ost,

The Lasiago Movie,

Son of Gouda,

The Grand Bel Paese Hotel,

Cheddarowsky’s Dune,

Philomena Cream Cheese,

Blue Cheese Jasmine,

August: Asiago Count,

Go vaginas! And those that used to be vaginas but didn't want them anymore and got penises - you still count!

I only know it's International Women's Day due to Google. Thanks Google for forcing us all to know what the hell is going on each day.

-MPG (a goddamn woman)

Study finds Alzheimer's more deadly than first. I think I have a hair appointment Tuesday. I better check the paper. Says Study finds ALzheimers. That's good. I have to get a permanent. Let me see that calendar. What's a four letter word for sex party? Where are my tweezers? Somebody said a Mr. Al Zimer died. Did I know him? How am I gonna' get to the beauty shop. I already got my perm? Are you my husband? Can I see that paper? I need to get my hair done.

Poison Ichy, Finback, Dorselwarts, Scalebes, Sharkzema, Oyscist, Orcatosis, Koiderma, Pustuna, Nipplenomalie, Fishure,

Putin’ on the Ritz ♫

BarePutin♫

Putin’s Lead’s in My Shoulder…

For once, can't one of my female staff get smoked? If a chick gets dumped you will be replaced by lunchtime. My ex (actually last two) moved their stuff from my apartment into my neighbors the same day - sure made for super fun, no eye contact, silent movie morning elevator rides. Not going to air The LAB's dirty laundry, but one of us (our accountant) got served and now has 'The Sads." …

Valentine's Day is the most stressful day of the year for guys. My stomach has been in knots for weeks. I can hardly keep solid food down at this point. Next to my bed, I can see the wood floor through the rug from a groove I made from pacing. When I try to sleep, not even a 3 milligram melatonin can calm the monsters inside of my head. I feel like Eminem at The Shelter about to battle The Free World. Mom's spaghetti. …

Meanwhile in Oklahoma City, a man took his clothes off and wandered naked through rush hour traffic today at Wilshire & N May. You can't blame him. He was confused by the discount clothing store there that had a sign out front, "Clothing, 90% off."

I don't remember subscribing to his magazine but I got one in the mail today (hopefully it was a free-teaser version). But I'm thinking, I'll give it a chance, he's a successful person and doctors are sometimes cool because if we have babies protruding from our cunts, they can catch them more professionally than others. Or if you dudes have dick disease, they tell you it will all be alright, while they laugh behind your back, 'haha, dick disease!' even though they know it's gonna fall off…

Those Were Different Times #237

Those Were Different Times #236

Bobbleheadsleigh, Skeet Jumping, Nordic Track Speed Scraping, Fetal Position Curling, Cross-Country Screaming, Frijolé style skiing, Lice Hockey, Short Sheet Speed Escaping, Luggie, Sowboarding,

A California couple found some rusty cans filled with 1,470 rare gold coins. There were signs the numbers could have been as high as 1,800 originally, but most of the chocolate filled ones had already been eaten.

Rhino Athletic Cup,

Signed Baby Ruth,

Feed back, worn on the back, used to feed monkeys (from the Ooh-ooh-aah-aah tribe),

1872 genuine book (missing cover and Chapter 3),…

Those Were Different Times #235

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7. Once I stab my husband with you, we can be together forever.

-AKAAB

6. I promise, honey, I don't care what the fox says.

-MPG

5. Lever to Beaver

-Iverneil

4. Thanks, eRabies!

-Gerardguffaw

3. For Leticia, the Boobonic Plague came quickly and was gone before morning.

-FroDoh!

2, Local girl gives big squirrel a…

Those Were Different Times #234

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7. Schizophonics

-FroDoh!

6. There's so much wood below our waists.

-MPG

5. I told you this would happen if we allowed gay marriage.

-Mike McHuman

4. Soviet stereo-types

-MacSpruce

--Hitler's Army prepares to invade Orlando.

--This is the beginning of Daft Punk...please someone murder them!!

3. Hogan's…

Those Were Different Times #233

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2. Who clogged the toilet?

-Iverneil

1. Victorian's Secret

-FroDoh!…

Those Were Different Times #232

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3. As a young sailor, Dr. Atkins was already perfecting his radical weight loss techniques.

-FroDoh!

2. A rare photograph of Edgar Bergen and his partner, the REAL Charlie McCarthy

-Mike McHuman

1. Mom always said Sailors came home with a Boner

-38chrysler…

Those Were Different Times #231

seems we're getting tired of the ads, so now for something different.

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7. .....and thats why they called it the Gay 90s

-38chrysler

6. This doesn't make sense like Civil War or friendly fire.

-toofpick

5. Bareback Mountaineers

-Iverneil

4. Participants in the Civil Union War

-Gerhardguffaw

3. Prussian Roulette is…

Those Were Different Times #229: The Piecesofsilverabration!

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Bourgeoisie sow will be eating from a dog bowl after the revolution

-iverneil

"Shut up about the frickin' silverware and pass me the colt!."

-FroDoh!

Dine Another Day

-VomitFlop…