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Those Were Different Times #245

Those Were Different Times #245

Added by mellowpuma on April 9, 2014 at 11:59pm — 17 Comments

Those Were Different Times #244

Those Were Different Times #244

Added by mellowpuma on April 9, 2014 at 11:58pm — 17 Comments

Inappropriate Questions

Per Linkedin.com - apparently there is a list of inappropriate job interview questions out there.  Mostly because some are illegal blah, blah, blah.  I would actually have fun answering these - try me!

  • Have you got children?  (I think so or else I have an infestation of midgets…
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Added by MPG on April 3, 2014 at 7:25pm — 7 Comments

Those Were Different Times #242

Those Were Different Times #242

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9. Hang in there, kitten!

-MPG

8. "When I'm not busting thugs and eating donuts, I like to hang out and take in some Iron Maiden."

-Gerhardguffaw

7. Fucking Superglue.

-Mike McHuman

6. Move it along, nothing to se heerrrree......

-Iverneil

"5. Fucking magnets! How do they work?!"

-MomitFlop

4. That's the last time I eat a street…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 29, 2014 at 11:00pm — 16 Comments

Those Were Different Times #243

Those Were Different Times #243

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8. He was inches from freedom when his zipper got stuck.

-Gerhardguffaw

7. I'm innocent! It can't be indecent if you can't see it.

-Mike McHuman

6. Personally, I thought it was a great puppet show.

-Iverneil

5. "Holy shit, Christopher Walken is a time-traveler?! This explains so much!"

-VomitFlop

4. James Dawson: Inventor of the porn star…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 29, 2014 at 11:00pm — 16 Comments

Less Popular Ark Guests:

2 Ring Worms,

Camel Spiders,

Porcupines,

Ferrets,

Hairless Cats,…

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Added by KariGrant on March 25, 2014 at 9:33pm — 14 Comments

Those Were Different Times #241

Those Were Different Times #241

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5. Step right up for your free facial.

-Mike McHuman

4. It's reassuring to know that the GOP does have a backup plan in case they were wrong about global warming.

-Ian Renga

3. Need fire extinguishing? If you ain't colored, we's ya fellas!

-Donairs

2.75. Nozzle tov!

2. What's that word mean that the photographer kept using, Earl ……

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Added by mellowpuma on March 23, 2014 at 12:30am — 9 Comments

Those Were Different Times #240

Those Were Different Times #240

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4. Billy the skid

-Iverneil

3. On the next Wheelie Gay Dudes...

-Gerhardguffaw

2.5. Bikeurious

2. Velocipedophiles

-MacSpruce



1. Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges! We could use a push to get started though.

-drwho…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 23, 2014 at 12:30am — 18 Comments

Fred Phelps has died ...

Fred Phelps ^

So, yeah this guy died.  I've never met him, but i saw him speak while i was walking between classes a few times a hell of a long time ago.  most of this i've gotten 2nd or 3rd hand.   lemme back up ...

the year was 2000 ish.   I was at the university of idaho, why a guy from kansas chose to…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 23, 2014 at 12:00am — 2 Comments

Craigslist

You have to love this website.  Here's a post from my local area.

Note the first line of the post - "VERY LARGE vintage solid brass statues."

VERY LARGE...so large, they literally tower over a Coke can.  You will be so impressed if you're a midget.  Oh, and they are $175…

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Added by MPG on March 18, 2014 at 8:05pm — 3 Comments

Health Risks Associated with Drinking Too Much Green Beer:

Lime Disease, Olivarian Cancer, Hemeraldoids, Kelly Stones, Springing in the ear, Forestperatory Infection, Chartreuse Fatigue Syndrome, Trichomomoss, Viridicella, Hooker’s STDs, O’Besity,

Added by KariGrant on March 17, 2014 at 9:56am — 4 Comments

Those Were Different Times #239

 Those Were Different Times #239

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7. If this Isn't a good time, we could come back later

-Iverneil

6. And the Special Olympics were born.

-MPG

5. I think you're right: he'd make an outstanding Senator.

-Mike McHuman

4. Splendid! Now that we've nearly perfected the 'crash-test dummy' let's turn to the challenge of inventing an automobile that can travel at more than 20 mph.…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 15, 2014 at 2:00pm — 28 Comments

Those Were Different Times #238

 Those Were Different Times #238

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3. Four legs good; two legs bad; three legs, well, that's getting into a morally gray area.

2. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he's an excellent photographer.

-MacSpruce



1. "There's an appendage for that.

-vomitflop…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 15, 2014 at 1:30pm — 21 Comments

Cheesy Recent Releases:

300: Rise of a Gruyere,

Mr. Briebody and Parmesan,

Non-Bond-Ost,

The Lasiago Movie,

Son of Gouda,

The Grand Bel Paese Hotel,

Cheddarowsky’s Dune,

Philomena Cream Cheese,

Blue Cheese Jasmine,

August: Asiago County,

Added by KariGrant on March 9, 2014 at 6:30pm — 7 Comments

Happy International Women's Day

Go vaginas! And those that used to be vaginas but didn't want them anymore and got penises - you still count!

I only know it's International Women's Day due to Google. Thanks Google for forcing us all to know what the hell is going on each day.

-MPG (a goddamn woman)

Added by MPG on March 7, 2014 at 8:25pm — 1 Comment

Alzheimer's Report

Study finds Alzheimer's more deadly than first. I think I have a hair appointment Tuesday. I better check the paper. Says Study finds ALzheimers. That's good. I have to get a permanent. Let me see that calendar. What's a four letter word for sex party? Where are my tweezers? Somebody said a Mr. Al Zimer died. Did I know him? How am I gonna' get to the beauty shop. I already got my perm? Are you my husband? Can I see that paper? I need to get my hair done.

Added by KariGrant on March 6, 2014 at 10:28am — 4 Comments

Rare Skin Maladies Caused by Raw Fish:

Poison Ichy, Finback, Dorselwarts, Scalebes, Sharkzema, Oyscist, Orcatosis, Koiderma, Pustuna, Nipplenomalie, Fishure,

Added by KariGrant on March 5, 2014 at 9:33pm — 3 Comments

Theme Songs for the Russian Invasion of the Ukraine:

Putin’ on the Ritz

BarePutin

Putin’s Lead’s in My Shoulder…

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Added by KariGrant on March 2, 2014 at 9:33am — 7 Comments

Strippers Always Chase Away The Sads

For once, can't one of my female staff get smoked? If a chick gets dumped you will be replaced by lunchtime. My ex (actually last two) moved their stuff from my apartment into my neighbors the same day - sure made for super fun, no eye contact, silent movie morning elevator rides. Not going to air The LAB's dirty laundry, but one of us (our accountant) got served and now has 'The Sads." …

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Added by Max Power on March 1, 2014 at 1:00am — No Comments

Massacre

Valentine's Day is the most stressful day of the year for guys. My stomach has been in knots for weeks. I can hardly keep solid food down at this point. Next to my bed, I can see the wood floor through the rug from a groove I made from pacing. When I try to sleep, not even a 3 milligram melatonin can calm the monsters inside of my head. I feel like Eminem at The Shelter about to battle The Free World. Mom's spaghetti. …

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Added by Max Power on March 1, 2014 at 12:51am — No Comments

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