All Blog Posts (1,107)

Rotwang's Almost-Annual Caption Contest

Those Were Different Times #405

Those Were Different Times #404

Those Were Different Times #403

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Results:

4. "Damn Jenny, I told you air-hockey was dangerous for girls!"

-Ian

3. Jenny just couldn't stop falling for the old telescope black eye prank.

-Mervin

2. Her album was in the lead until she was beaten out by Chris Brown.

-Iverneil

1. Poor Jenny can't afford another pack of Tareytons.

-MacSpruce…

Those Were Different Times #402

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Results:

3. Well Pam, first you need to step back from your expectation of finding a husband with the head of a cartoon dog and the body of a snake.

-JJJ23

2. Sadly for Pam, she always ends up being the girl people opt to kill when given a choice.

-Mario!!!

1. Try ISIS.

-Iverneil…

With the final season of Game of Thrones fast approaching it's important to understand exactly how a dragon produces fire.

Calling them 'Fire-breathing' is not entirely accurate.  Call them 'Fire-exhaling' Dragons to be more precise.

Much like the monkeys that eat the charcoal for digestion, dragons regularly seek out flint and marcasite-rich…

Those Were Different Times #401

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Results:

5. "Fifty NOs and a YES means YES."

-Ian

4. She would later star in the sequel, Dr. No Means No!

-Mario!!!

3. ♫Fieldings. Nothing more than ♫ fieldings...

-Karigrant

2. Song 1: We're Not A Great Spy Team

-JJJ23

1. When he shakes her she doesn't stir – the good old Cosby martini!

-MacSpruce    (oof, that's hard)…

Those Were Different Times #400

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Results:

4, The Incredible Husk.

-Karigrant

3. The real reason Dr Frankenstein's monster went ballistic, this was his junk.

-Mervin97

2, Do you guys have any idea how many "rotten wang" caps I'm not typing?

-rotwang

1. Then Dorothy asked “But scarecrow!! I thought you wanted a heart??”

-iverneil…

Those Were Different Times #399

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Results:

3,"Stop trying to brainwash us with the power of suggestion, Oliver Stone!"

-VomitFlop

2. Sure it's effective, but it does require quite a lot of self-amputation.

-Mario!!!

1. "...I'm going to say one word: Plastics. That's all you're allowed to eat now."

-Ian…

Those Were Different Times #398

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Results:

3. That game received a very spoor rating.

-Iverneil

"Well, the thing is, they aren't exactly being propelled by jetpacks."

"Also coming soon to the Smegma Genesis!"

2. Pooper Mario Bros.

-VomitFlop

No one messes with this powerful squat. -I mean squad.

1. That's it, private, you are relieved of your dookie!

-Rotwang…

Those Were Different Times #397

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Results:

When it came to spreading Christmas Cheer, they really phoned it in back in the Fifties.

4. Not to be confused with "Hanukkah up Your Ass."

-Mario!!!

"Pardon me, sir, but what is a Jerky boy?"

3. "CF phone home."

-VomitFlop

2. ...would prove to be the cause of death, clogging both the aorta and the jugular with pine needles, bits of glass ornaments and eggnog.

-Ian

1. "I…

Those Were Different Times #396

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Results:

--- a blue christmas ... ---

3. He had a round little belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jizz.

-KariGrant

It was Santa's last stop of the night and he emptied his sack.

2. Santa always comes in December, and sometimes he comes in Mae.

-MacSpruce

1. ♪ Don't stand so Claus to me. ♪

-VomitFlop…

Those Were Different Times #395

4. "Yes, there were giant toilet paper rolls in space."

-Ian

3. One small step for man-on-mankind.

-Rotwang

2. Featuring the Yiddish hit, "Somewhere Oy Vey, the Rainbow.

-KariGrant

1. From the folks who brought you George S. Patton Ocean Cloud Pancakes.

-JJJ23…

Those Were Different Times #394

Results:

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5. No more piano lessons, mom.

-Rotwang

4. Even after fully militarizing in the streets the spotlight continued to elude Kane.

-Ian

3. Featuring the hit' "I've Never Heard Of This Rambo Character, I have No Idea What You're Talking About" and the the ballad "Second Blood".

-JJJ23

2. Sorry no shirt no solo.

-Mervin97

1.0001. Gland on the…

Now that Taylor Swift has stopped being just a song writer and musician and has jumped into Partisan Politics alienating 1/2 of her Fan Base I have decided she may need some help with new Song Titles that align with hers and their Platforms... 

You should add your own Song Title suggestions to help her along on her new journey as a Political…

A Summary of the Kavanaugh Hearing by a Victim of Fraternity Rush Week Roof to Pool Diving Circa 1983

so a bunch of nerd senators are going after kdog because of some weird female hysteria.

then it's like, ok, she seemed scared when she was talking to the…

Those Were Different Times #393

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3. "I hope you like chamber music."

-Ian

2. Don't come a-knockin' if the coffin is rockin'. 

-MacSpruce
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Buried With Children

-Mario!!!

Those Were Different Times #392

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Results;

3. It'll give you a tromboner!

-Mario!!!

2. "Now includes Music to Watch Large Girls By featuring Sal Iva on Tuba."

-Ian

Trumpets for Strumpets

1. aka Herpes Alpert and the Gonorrhea Brass

-MacSpruce…

Those Were Different Times #391

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Results:

4. Even if you only listen to it once, you have to register as a sex offender.

-Mario!!!

3. It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.It's like a few minutes of wet slapping.

-jjj23

Organ ickily grown

2. Some of the tunes have words, others are hummers.

 -MacSpruce

1. *all the compositions in the songbook are written to be played with only one…