All Blog Posts (1,080)

Those Were Different Times #385

Those Were Different Times #384

Those Were Different Times #383

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And unto her, the lord said "Fear not, my child, the all you can eat buffet will reopen tomorrow at Sizzler."

-Rotwang

Me so thorny!

This is the Edna civilization as we know it. 

 -MacSpruce

Even Bon Jovi thinks that's a pretty ridiculous prayer to live on.

-VomitFlop

I was sorry to hear that Edna has mono. No…

Those Were Different Times #382

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"Or just keep on creeping in your Free Candy van.""Or just keep on creeping in your Free Candy van."-VomitFlop

If you see anything suspicious, please give us a heads up

.-Iverneil

Putting the "bi" in "binoculars". 

-Rotwang

Alvis has left the bull dung.

-KariGrant

Hide and watch Alvis and the Barnetts play hide the…

Those Were Different Times #380

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3. Right after he tucked that shirt into his asshole.

-Iverneil

2. To see the rear side of the album sheath you have to just reach-around.

-Rotwang

1. It's the follow up to his debut album, "First I Fist Myself."

-Mario!!!…

Those Were Different Times #381

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1. Apparently, Kim trips over some beautiful people at a Hollywood party and falls under ground with a lady whose curiosity about his feminine name makes him combative. I plan on checking it out, once I get past my fear of that handkerchief.

-Mario!!!…

Those Were Different Times #379

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5. What an askhole!

-Mario!!!

4. Track 7 "Side Of The Face Effects"

-JJJ23

3.2. Just because I Asked you to kill us

3. Chin chin a me, Chin chin a me, chin chin a me..

-Iverneil

2. "You let Harvey Weinstein do it and he didn't even ask."

-Mervin97

1. To visit Chernobyl?

-JJJ23…

Those Were Different Times #378

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4. Featuring his number one single, ♪"Felines, nothing more than felines..."♫

-KariGrant

3. Featuring Scat Crotch Fever

-Iverneil

2. Track #1 "Seriously, The Cats Killed Hans So You're Gonna Have To Sing Tonight"

-JJJ23

1, "You don't understand, man. It's more than a feline."

-VomitFlop…

Those Were Different Times #377

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3. This is Tell Savalas holding his automatic in such a way that it will scrape the skin off of his index finger.

-Rotwang

2. "Who loves you baby? The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms, that's who."

-Ian

1. this is

Jelly Savalas...…

Those Were Different Times #376

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5. Includes the hits...

"Pill Poppin' Art"

"My Hair Hurts"

"Has Anybody Seen My Dealer?"

-Gerhardguffaw

4. I've always heard Art was a Methed actor.

-Iverneil

Art: This is some wild shit, Muzzy!

Muzzy: I haven't started playing yet.

3. It was the #2 album of 1961 to listen to while high on speed, right behind the classic "Anything Else".

-JJJ23

I2.…

Those Were Different Times #375

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And the special "Break Out The Dictionary And Bow In Awe" Award goes to:

dog girl and doggerel

-MacSpruce

5. I’ll take the wood chipper.

-Iverneil

4. Not to be confused with their follow up smash hit, "I'll Take You Doggy Style."

-Mario!!!

3. Reason for divorcing? Irreconsilable Fetishes.

-MadAdam

2. Things got awkward when they split him in the…

Those Were Different Times #374

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... And the "Actually Probably Better Advice Than This Bullcrap" Award goes to:

Dwell on the people you hate with no other thought for weeks.

-Iverneil

4. His next book was How to Develop the Power of Euthenasium."

-KariGrant

3. Here's a hint – it begins with the powder of enthusiasm, if you know what I mean.

-MacSpruce



2. At first I was totally psyched about…

Those Were Different Times #373

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... and the special "I Was Afraid To Google This" Award goes to:

Featuring Thirty Odd Minute of Grunt and Valsalva Maneuvers in the Dark.

-MacSpruce

6. Featuring the classic ballad, Ann, You're ism

-Ian

4. Dick Gozinya, goes out, Gozinya, goes out, Gozinya, goes out …

-MacSpruce

3. "That seems like a very crude euphemism for a communion wafer."

-VomitFlop

2. He…

Those Were Different Times #372

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... and the special "Between The Lines" Award goes to:

They moved on to Twister a few years later, which led straight to wanton Satanic orgies.

-MacSpruce

(the gateway rug?)

6. Mom said they were to keep one foot on the floor at all times.

-MacSpruce

5. SQUARE-DANCING: You're doing it wrong or right, we're not sure…

Results, by Rotwang:

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JJJ23 and Macspruce cleaned up the ball game today, sportsfans. But the winner topped them in the bottom of the 9th.

5: Yes, according to the pinch hitler. 

- MacSpruce

4: Pitch hunt

- JJJ23

3: It balked at going to the resistance rally with me.

-JJJ23

2: "You also had some very fine baseballs on both sides." 

- MacSpruce

1: "Who wants to know? Did the football put you up to this? ANSWER…

Those Were Different Times #371

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5. The carpet matches the drapes, the shirt, the hat, the wallpaper and the inside lining of the ninth circle of Hell.

-Ian

There but for the god of Grace go I.

4. The record company shortened the title to RAPTURE! from the original RAPE CULTURE!

-MacSpruce

3. Ironically, Wilbur and Grace were eaten by a raptor.

-KariGrant

Wilbur never noticed the troop was slowly…

Those Were Different Times #370

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4. Tommy McNeely my ass, that's a young Lindsey Graham !!!

-MadAdam

3. What a bunch of hand jive!

-KariGrant

2. Kevin Spacey strikes again!

-Mario!!!

1. Tommy doesn't talk about the unseen hand job.

-MacSpruce…

Those Were Different Times #369

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7. They tried to do a vegan pageant but no one gave a hill of beans about it.

-Rotwang

6. People don't talk about the long happy life Debbie built for herself in Dallas.

-JJJ23

5. She just gave me a T-Boner!

-gERHARDGUFFAW

4. You should see her curtains..

-MacSpruce

She prefers "bone in".

I'd like to check her internal temperature..................with my…

Those Were Different Times #368

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3. "...Land him with new Jantzen Flunitrazepam."

-Ian

2. Ruffled for his pleasure.

-Rotwang

1. You're gonna wanna go by the bait shop and get yourself a bucket of cocks.

-JJJ23…

so, our old friend, Bruce / theDIRTYmiget died.

forum discussion here:  http://comedywhirled.com/forum/topics/tdm-died-general-discussion

i saw it on the front page a few days ago, but just haven't reacted to it yet.  still doesn't seem quite real.

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when it came to writing in general, he was a golden god.   more than a few times i forgot he was a real person,…