All Blog Posts (892)

YORK, Pa. – A Pennsylvania high school student has been suspended for asking Miss America to prom during her visit to his school.

Eighteen-year-old Patrick Farves received three days of in-school suspension for asking the current Miss America, Nina Davuluri, to accompany him to his senior prom, despite warnings from school officials beforehand.

“My parents always told me to shoot for the moon,” Farves commented, before quickly looking over each of his shoulders, concerned that…

Those Were Different Times #247

Those Were Different Times #246

Note: Inspired by this tweet

PROLOGUE

            What could possibly make a man despise not only roller rinks, but roller skates and everything related to them as a whole? Maybe, due to his large stature, he wasn’t the fastest of skaters, and the other children never let him forget it. Maybe he…

Those Were Different Times #245

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8. The first hint that Molar Power was the wave of the future.

-Gerhardguffaw

7. Mouth big enough to hold 3 out of 5 Dicks.

-drwho

6. One of these nights, we have to find some women.

-Iverneil

5. Stop looking down in the mouth.

-Mike McHuman

4. Latest polls show 3 out of 5 men like to be inside another man's…

Those Were Different Times #244

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7. Boy George brought this picture to his hairdresser for inspiration.

-drwho

6. I didn't realize that Sally Fields had a mustache.

-MIke McHuman (impressive)

5. "Ah, this seems to be the problem. You were liberally using Vidal Buffoon."

-VomitFlop

4. Donald Trump's dad

-Gerhardguffaw

3. The lead…

Per Linkedin.com - apparently there is a list of inappropriate job interview questions out there.  Mostly because some are illegal blah, blah, blah.  I would actually have fun answering these - try me!

• Have you got children?  (I think so or else I have an infestation of midgets…

Those Were Different Times #242

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9. Hang in there, kitten!

-MPG

8. "When I'm not busting thugs and eating donuts, I like to hang out and take in some Iron Maiden."

-Gerhardguffaw

7. Fucking Superglue.

-Mike McHuman

6. Move it along, nothing to se heerrrree......

-Iverneil

"5. Fucking magnets! How do they work?!"

-MomitFlop

4. That's the last time I eat a street…

Those Were Different Times #243

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8. He was inches from freedom when his zipper got stuck.

-Gerhardguffaw

7. I'm innocent! It can't be indecent if you can't see it.

-Mike McHuman

6. Personally, I thought it was a great puppet show.

-Iverneil

5. "Holy shit, Christopher Walken is a time-traveler?! This explains so much!"

-VomitFlop

4. James Dawson: Inventor of the porn star…

2 Ring Worms,

Camel Spiders,

Porcupines,

Ferrets,

Hairless Cats,…

Those Were Different Times #241

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5. Step right up for your free facial.

-Mike McHuman

4. It's reassuring to know that the GOP does have a backup plan in case they were wrong about global warming.

-Ian Renga

3. Need fire extinguishing? If you ain't colored, we's ya fellas!

-Donairs

2.75. Nozzle tov!

2. What's that word mean that the photographer kept using, Earl ……

Those Were Different Times #240

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4. Billy the skid

-Iverneil

3. On the next Wheelie Gay Dudes...

-Gerhardguffaw

2.5. Bikeurious

2. Velocipedophiles

-MacSpruce

1. Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges! We could use a push to get started though.

-drwho…

Fred Phelps ^

So, yeah this guy died.  I've never met him, but i saw him speak while i was walking between classes a few times a hell of a long time ago.  most of this i've gotten 2nd or 3rd hand.   lemme back up ...

the year was 2000 ish.   I was at the university of idaho, why a guy from kansas chose to…

You have to love this website.  Here's a post from my local area.

Note the first line of the post - "VERY LARGE vintage solid brass statues."

VERY LARGE...so large, they literally tower over a Coke can.  You will be so impressed if you're a midget.  Oh, and they are $175…

Lime Disease, Olivarian Cancer, Hemeraldoids, Kelly Stones, Springing in the ear, Forestperatory Infection, Chartreuse Fatigue Syndrome, Trichomomoss, Viridicella, Hooker’s STDs, O’Besity,

 Those Were Different Times #239

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7. If this Isn't a good time, we could come back later

-Iverneil

6. And the Special Olympics were born.

-MPG

5. I think you're right: he'd make an outstanding Senator.

-Mike McHuman

4. Splendid! Now that we've nearly perfected the 'crash-test dummy' let's turn to the challenge of inventing an automobile that can travel at more than 20 mph.…

 Those Were Different Times #238

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3. Four legs good; two legs bad; three legs, well, that's getting into a morally gray area.

2. Perhaps unsurprisingly, he's an excellent photographer.

-MacSpruce

1. "There's an appendage for that.

-vomitflop…

300: Rise of a Gruyere,

Mr. Briebody and Parmesan,

Non-Bond-Ost,

The Lasiago Movie,

Son of Gouda,

The Grand Bel Paese Hotel,

Cheddarowsky’s Dune,

Philomena Cream Cheese,

Blue Cheese Jasmine,

August: Asiago County,

Go vaginas! And those that used to be vaginas but didn't want them anymore and got penises - you still count!

I only know it's International Women's Day due to Google. Thanks Google for forcing us all to know what the hell is going on each day.

-MPG (a goddamn woman)

Study finds Alzheimer's more deadly than first. I think I have a hair appointment Tuesday. I better check the paper. Says Study finds ALzheimers. That's good. I have to get a permanent. Let me see that calendar. What's a four letter word for sex party? Where are my tweezers? Somebody said a Mr. Al Zimer died. Did I know him? How am I gonna' get to the beauty shop. I already got my perm? Are you my husband? Can I see that paper? I need to get my hair done.