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Those Were Different Times #308

Those Were Different Times #308

Added by mellowpuma on April 16, 2015 at 10:30am — 26 Comments

Those Were Different Times #307

Those Were Different Times #307

Added by mellowpuma on April 16, 2015 at 10:28am — 19 Comments

Those Were Different Times #305

Those Were Different Times #305

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and the special "Wow, Just Wow" award goes to:

♫♪♫ "Double your pleasure

Double your fun

I've got 2 mini-sluts

And you have none

One is a prostitute

One is a nun

I shall eat them alive

On a hot-dog bun

Double your pleasure

Double your fun

I just birthed them

Right out of my cun'

Refreshen your life mint

It's the right mint

The…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 31, 2015 at 5:00am — 44 Comments

Those Were Different Times #306

Those Were Different Times #306

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5. "No, let me guess. He's The Chosen One, isn't he? Of course, he is! After all, why wouldn't he be?"

-VomitFlop

She knows it's time for a changing when his

helmet fills and sloshes with urine and feces.

4. His first words were "Danger, Will Robinson!"

-theDIRTYmidget



3. It's so much easier to get your child vaccinated. Stupid hipster…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 31, 2015 at 5:00am — 42 Comments

crap on the barcelona chair & stool we all lust after. because we're chair perverts?

so, some dude wants to sell a chair.  which is fine, except this is not the place to do it.  also, it's a horrible eyesore. also it looks like it'd give anyone a backache.  also screw this guy. let's all tell him how much we hate his chair.

where's the fucking stool, asshole?  …

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Added by mellowpuma on March 31, 2015 at 3:00am — 5 Comments

OTHER HOUSES

House of Kurds, House of Curds, House of Cads, House of Cruds, International House of Pan Cards, House of Hallmark Cards, House of Cards with Flowers in the Attic, Last House of Cards on the Left, Hill House of Cards, How’s My Driving?

Added by KariGrant on March 24, 2015 at 3:37pm — 10 Comments

Those Were Different Times #304

Those Were Different Times #304

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8. She was the only living hair to the Le Pew fortune.

-JJJ23

7. Um, Rachel. It's, "I want to be alone," not, "I want to be a lawn."

-RunSilentRunDeep

6. There is never enough nudity in Alaskan porn movies.

-Gerhardguffaw

Has a plumber on site 24/7.

5. When Cruella was still into Border Collies.

-theDIRTYmidget

4. Having never heard the expression…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 19, 2015 at 9:30am — 54 Comments

Those Were Different Times #303

Those Were Different Times #303

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3. He was so plastered that night!!

-Iverneil

2. "Rung, Forrest, rung!"

-VomitFlop

1. Ladder Day Saint

-Frodoh…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 19, 2015 at 9:30am — 37 Comments

Animal Body Parts Not Talked About In School

Platypussy,

Platymelts,

Mountain-cloisters,

Scrodumbs,

Geezerds,

Sphynxters (old school),

Tequilla’s Heel,

Yam String,

Outtestines,

Appendicks,

Fullopium Tubes,

Tent-tickles,

Added by KariGrant on March 9, 2015 at 8:54am — 6 Comments

Those Were Different Times #301

Those Were Different Times #301

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8. Staring is caring.

-JJJ23

7. This is Peoples Express, not Penis Express sir.

-Drwho

6. "You must be irish."

-Mervin97

5. Would you like some TWA tea?

-MacSpruce

4. Disco to New York. Dat go to Miami.

-KariGrant

3. "Warm nuts?"

-theDIRTYmidget

2. ♪♫ Moon Me to the Fly ♫♪

-FroDoh

1. ♪♫..And one of there days these boots…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 8, 2015 at 9:30am — 43 Comments

Those Were Different Times #302

Those Were Different Times #302

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9. They could have gone far in life if only they weren't two tired.

-38chrysler

8.34. With considerable time and effort, the Picard family finally managed to make it sew.

8. They got pulled over for tailorgating.

-MacSpruce

7. In Russia the sewing rides you.

-drwho



6. Sew sew sew your bike gently down the…

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Added by mellowpuma on March 8, 2015 at 9:30am — 56 Comments

March Days to Celebrate

St. Fatty’s Day, The Eyes of March, March Hair Loss Day, Clams on the Half-Assed Drunk Day, Crochet your Crotch Day, Peanut Butter Liver Day, Seuss Sweeps Week, Borderline Personalitied Collies Day, Nuzzle with a Buzzard Day, Quilted Noreastern A Comin In Day, I Have A Hairy Hoohadini Day,

Added by KariGrant on March 3, 2015 at 7:18pm — 2 Comments

Police Academy Award Nominations:

"D.C. Sniper" “Jail Birdman” “Juvies in the Hood" "The Grand Larceny Hotel" "The Incarceration Game" “Into the Paddy Wagon” “Tell It To The Judge” “Perpcatcher” “Fifty Shades of Whiplashes” “InterCell” "Mr. Taser"

Added by KariGrant on February 24, 2015 at 1:49pm — 5 Comments

2015 Oscar Rejects

Oscar Rejects for 2015:

Long awaited sequel to OUTBREAK starring Jodie Foster and Oprah: SELMANELLA.

Sandusky tell-all: THE INITIATION GAME.

BIRDHOOD.

GRANDADDY LONGLEGS PEST HOTEL.

THE THEORY OF WHIPLASH.

Reese Witherspoon and Rosamund Pike in GONE GIRLS GONE WILD.

Long awaited sequel to Weekend At Bernies II: TWO DAYS, ONE NIGHT AT BERNIES.

CROTCHCATCHER.

Bill Cozby in HERE COME THE JUDGE.

BARMITZFAHOOD

Added by KariGrant on February 22, 2015 at 3:30pm — 30 Comments

Kardashian Woman — Parody of 'American Woman'

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Added by Frodoh on February 18, 2015 at 10:30pm — 3 Comments

Those Were Different Times #300

Those Were Different Times #300

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4. Everyone celebrated Harper Lee's long awaited sequel, "To Kill A Gawkingbird."

-Karigrant

3. Do you remember the first time you shit your pants?

-Gerhardguffaw

2. How did you know I am an only child????

-Iverneail

1. "It felt like spaghetti was actually being strained directly at me!"

-theDIRTYmidget…

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Added by mellowpuma on February 16, 2015 at 4:30am — 44 Comments

Those Were Different Times #299

Those Were Different Times #299

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6. He never could hold his licker.

-38chrysler

5. When the dog is sufficiently narcotized,

the boy will begin his elaborate butchering process.

Then we feast!

-theDIRTYmidget

4. "What's the over/under on the underdog?"

-Ian Renga

3. Hoover was helpless to act on it. Turns out prohibition laws only applied to…

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Added by mellowpuma on February 16, 2015 at 4:00am — 48 Comments

Brian's Song

With the news that Bri's been suspended

for six months without pay, I couldn't resist!…

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Added by Frodoh on February 10, 2015 at 9:30pm — 8 Comments

Brian Williams Offers Second Apology for Yet Another, Albeit Messier, 'Fake' Story

NEW YORK CITY – In the wake of Wednesday’s scandal involving inflated recollections of his wartime reporting in Iraq, NBC’s Brian Williams today has issued a second apology to a surprising recipient: His own mother.



An unnamed source reports that Williams’ epiphany regarding the events surrounding an RPG striking a helicopter – one in which he claimed to be a passenger – and the subsequent questioning of his version of events by soldiers who were present at the time of the attack,…

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Added by Ryan on February 5, 2015 at 7:00pm — 4 Comments

2014 Caption Whirled Power Rankings - Final Results

Better late than never,  the results for 2014 have been tabulated.  After losing his title to Vomit Flop in 2013, three time champ (2010, 11, 12) MacSpruce reclaimed the crown in 2014.  Congratulations…

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Added by Comedy Whirled on February 1, 2015 at 9:00pm — 11 Comments

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