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Ian Renga
Ian Renga
  • Santa Barbara, CA
  • United States
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Comment Wall (935 comments)

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At 6:56pm on February 22, 2012, KariGrantKariGrant said…

Land Shrimp! AwwHaww! Make me want to Smack my mama (but I don't have a shovel)!

At 6:55pm on February 22, 2012, KariGrantKariGrant said…

oooooweee. BarGAAYNS!!!

At 12:04pm on February 21, 2012, theDIRTYmidget.©theDIRTYmidget.© said…

At 12:04pm on February 21, 2012, theDIRTYmidget.©theDIRTYmidget.© said…

My latest.  xo♥∞.

At 8:24pm on February 20, 2012, FroDoh!FroDoh! said…

PS:  Thanks for the gentle spelling hint!

At 6:14pm on February 20, 2012, FroDoh!FroDoh! said…

Thanks!  Sorry I haven't been more productive.

At 8:11am on February 20, 2012, MacSpruceMacSpruce said…

Yeah, Rex rocks. Not content merely to steal it, I also P-shopped out it's creator's name to cover my tracks.  

At 10:15pm on February 16, 2012, SlantSlant said…

At 8:08pm on February 14, 2012, FroDoh!FroDoh! said…

"Too busy working deep into the night for the Kardashians."

You, sir, are the Snark-meister Supreme!

At 7:44pm on February 13, 2012, KariGrantKariGrant said…

dangerous, humbling pieces of candy. Brilliantly poetic!

 

 

At 6:11pm on February 13, 2012, IverneilIverneil said…

"..die if I want to" Congrats, if you didn't win that one I would have complained to you

At 4:49pm on February 13, 2012, chuckklingchuckkling said…

Your welcome and thank you for sticking that song in my head for about two days.

At 2:56am on February 13, 2012, theDIRTYmidget.©theDIRTYmidget.© said…

Please stop by and see my relatively low-key Valentines Day motif and groovie top-header bar .gif.  Also note my added acknowledgement of our co-creation (to which you contributed the Lions Share) of your fabulous Zooey-Splooge .gifxo♥∞.   

At 1:42am on February 13, 2012, theDIRTYmidget.©theDIRTYmidget.© said…

Little-Known Hollywood Factoid:
Originally a documentary about Rock’s
ejaculating onto his then-boyfriend’s lumbar-region.
xo♥∞
.

At 10:33am on February 12, 2012, theDIRTYmidget.©theDIRTYmidget.© said…

At 6:21am on February 12, 2012, theDIRTYmidget.©theDIRTYmidget.© said…

At 5:57am on February 12, 2012, theDIRTYmidget.©theDIRTYmidget.© said…

KarminAnnoyin’!!!” (As I just wrote to JJJ23:) “Besides 85-90% of rap (in general) sucking, the only thing worse than white guys rapping is white girls rapping.  Great-looking, though (aside from the honking schnoz), and very talented, despite focusing that talent toward something truly horrible.  Great tits / legs.  The male sidekick who probably writes everything definitely has to go, though (Ha-ha!).”  xo♥∞. 

At 10:11pm on February 11, 2012, FroDoh!FroDoh! said…

Love your Oprah's side-to-side craniofacial gif motion! 

Also, I've just now seen (and here I'm presuming it's yours) Legends of Kim Jong-un blog--HILARIOUS with fantastic comments to boot!  My only complaint is that once you've taken the 'un' outta 'fun', we're all screwed!

At 8:03pm on February 11, 2012, KariGrantKariGrant said…

Hilarious!!!

 

At 6:59pm on February 11, 2012, Rebellious By NatureRebellious By Nature said…

I do much better than Will Smith

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KariGrant left a comment for Ian Renga
Land Shrimp! AwwHaww! Make me want to Smack my mama (but I don't have a shovel)!
16 hours ago
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KariGrant left a comment for Ian Renga
oooooweee. BarGAAYNS!!!
16 hours ago
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Ian Renga commented on KariGrant's blog post 'Fat Tuesday'
Land Shrimp (creole crickets)
16 hours ago
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Ian Renga left a comment for jessicaligula
'...Black Panther Party'   Good story.
16 hours ago
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Ian Renga left a comment for theDIRTYmidget.©
Nice gif on the bicycle thieves!
18 hours ago
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Thanks for Goldilocks!
18 hours ago
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Huston/Sellers
yesterday
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My latest.  xo♥∞.
yesterday
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PS:  Thanks for the gentle spelling hint!
Tuesday

Ian Renga's Blog

Ian Renga

We Might Be Stuffing

   Considering the hundreds of eyewitness accounts in South America of a giant flightless bird and the fact that much of that country has yet to be explored with modern surveillance equipment it is practical to assume that there are still birds out there that could bite our head off.  When we sit down and eat our bird this coming Thursday it's important to realize just why it tastes so good.  When the hunted finally get to eat the hunter there is a sublime molecular response, a sense of total gratification.   Thousands of generations were afraid to go outside without their dogs nearby.  Some even had panthers and tigers to protect them from becoming Diatryma feed, though that elitist method would backfire from time to time for obvious reasons.  

   Today when we give our cats and dogs the giblets and the dark meat we're actually thanking them for thousands of years of protection.  We pay them tributes just like in the Godfather.  So Thanksgiving is a day of thanks on many levels, besides the obvious ones, which include being thankful for Law & Order on TNT and the Snuggie®.

Payback is a…

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Posted on November 18, 2011 at 4:30pm — 1 Comment

Ian Renga

Schrödinger's Cat Paradox

For the sheer sake of seeing Schadenfreude followed by Schrödinger I present the following:

Schrödinger's Cat: A cat, along with a flask containing a poison and a radioactive source, is placed in a sealed box shielded against environmentally induced quantum decoherence. If an internal Geiger counter detects radiation, the flask is shattered, releasing the poison that kills the cat. The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when we look in the box, we see the cat either alive or dead, not both alive and dead.

Schrödinger's cat is a thought experiment, usually described as a paradox, that Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger devised in 1935. It illustrates what he saw as the problem of the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics applied to everyday objects. The thought experiment presents a cat that might be alive or dead, depending on an earlier…

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Posted on July 28, 2011 at 1:30am — 6 Comments

Ian Renga

Standard ESP Test on Standard Poodle

One afternoon while crawling in traffic I noticed a person walking a black Standard Poodle on the sidewalk.  I thought about how often people claim the particular breed as being exceptionally intelligent and decided to test this theory using only telepathy.  (It is important to relay the fact that I was wearing sunglasses at the time and was two lanes from the sidewalk)  I thought 'If you're so smart you'll read my mind and come here to my car now.'  Without hesitation the large dog started to pull his owner into the street as he tried to reach my car. 

The owner managed to restrain the dog and get him back onto the sidewalk without incident.  I consider this proof that Standard Poodles are at the very least extremely keen observers, as it's fair to suspect that the dog read some of my inevitable facial micro-expression cues and decided in a split second that I was worth further investigation.

My gut told me the dog was an above average

telepathic receiver.   Next come the Goats

At most, it's proof once again that telepathy

is like a muscle that gets stronger with practice:

(pyro telekinesis is thought to be an acute extension)

Click the link for a great article on the subject:…

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Posted on July 10, 2011 at 5:30am — 3 Comments

Ian Renga

iMod for Twitter



 

Coming very soon is an app/program called iMod®.  It will enable idiots to sound literally credible when tweeting their bullshit as well as protect celebrities from themselves.  The comment self-moderation tolerances will be adjusted to fit the user's profession.  A comedian's will be at 1 or 2 filter strength.  Politicians' will be at 8-9 strength, and 10 is reserved for binging addicts and authentic wackos like Leno &  Palin.  If a power-drunk Palin tweets:  "I can see Mexico from my house..."  the iMod will translate it to: "We hunted some beautiful Jaguar last Spring in Mexico along the border"  



If Weiner tweets his weiner, iMod will send this twit-pic back to him and stop further tweets for 24 hours. 

(we're still negotiating with Tazer to offer a micro-sized electrocution device that will fit most phones and computer mice.)

If he tries it again he's twat-blocked until he earns 'counsel credits' by attending our online seminars on intensive behavior modification therapy.(refer to image above as needed)

Technology is either a benefit or a hazard.  Let's at least make money off these popularity junkies on their way to self-ruin instead of the other way around.  For most people it will just change your 'Fucks' and 'Shits' into 'Florgs' and 'Shazbaats' (or the other way around) when desired.  An iMod package will run roughly $99/month, and will include 24 hours(in a row) roadside mobile therapy assistance. …

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Posted on June 6, 2011 at 7:30pm — 1 Comment

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