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Ian Renga
  • Santa Barbara, CA
  • United States
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Comment Wall (1,334 comments)

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At 5:07am on November 16, 2015, Bubba Licious said…
Ian, thanks. How's it been going? Good to see CW is still going strong. Funny, I haven't watched ACL in years. Maybe I'll give it a watch.
At 7:21am on November 12, 2015, KariGrant said…

Are you saying it doesn't???

At 8:31am on October 23, 2015, Frodoh said…

Human Hookapede!!

At 7:11am on October 21, 2015, VomitFlop said…

Huge LOL@"Back to the Future IV:  The Adventures of Mayor Goldie Wilson". I now need to legitimately see said movie.

At 8:21am on October 5, 2015, Iverneil said…

LOL, that is more appropriate!!

At 8:19am on October 5, 2015, Iverneil said…
At 2:25am on September 14, 2015, MacSpruce said…

Re: 42 – I think (and I'm sure you'd agree) the notion that celebrities have anything to do with the meaning of life is one of the reasons modern day society is as fucked up as it is. 

Actually, I did have a couple more ideas but didn't get around to them. 

At 7:21pm on September 8, 2015, JJJ23 said…

I was already mourning this place, so glad it's not gone. I got this joke I thought up about an arsonist in hell and I had no where to put it. 

At 9:35pm on August 31, 2015, Mike McHuman said…

Thanks. I appreciate it.

At 8:43pm on August 18, 2015, Codename: Spydergirl said…
Yes to the communal web. My refugee friends came over and we just had to do something since we were bored!
At 10:22pm on August 12, 2015, Codename: Spydergirl said…

Wishing upon Perseid tonight.

At 8:14pm on August 12, 2015, Codename: Spydergirl said…

Hope you had a great day!

At 6:53pm on August 12, 2015, toofpick said…

Thanks a lot man.

At 8:46am on August 9, 2015, Frodoh said…

Thanks, Ian!  The C-O-M- in 'Compton' was clearly calling!  (and I know....that 'Y' really sucks!)

At 1:33pm on August 2, 2015, KariGrant said…

Thanks, Ian!!! <3

At 12:42am on August 2, 2015, JJJ23 said…

Thank you sir for the compliment, I'd give everything I have to keep this place going, but then again I honestly wouldn't. I've got just enough in my pocket right now to keep me going. I very much hope this place goes on for many more great years to come. On a lighter note, have you seen any of Hannibal? Great show, for me it tops any of the Hannibal Lecter movies, even Silence of the Lambs.

At 10:56am on July 20, 2015, MacSpruce said…

Good 12 Monkeys reference. I've increasingly come to see David Morse's character as the 'good guy' as humankind ravages the Earth. Haven't seen any of the TV series.

At 7:40pm on July 17, 2015, Frodoh said…

Your, '...trail of first-time lesbians...' should be enshrined in the Pantheon of Perfect Punch-Lines! 

—Oh, wait—it already is!

At 10:42pm on July 11, 2015, MacSpruce said…

Ha! I had the same idea for Gandhi a couple days ago and then completely forgot. Mickey Mantle is great! 

At 8:45pm on July 10, 2015, MacSpruce said…

Quite right about the limited options for the celebricon game. To be sporting I held off for a day, but now I've gone ahead and posted more. It would still be fun to see your alternates if you had the same ones in mind. 



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Ian Renga commented on Comedy Whirled's page Caption Whirled - 11-23-2015
"Horton Hears a Howitzer!"
Ian Renga commented on Comedy Whirled's page Caption Whirled - 11-23-2015
""She's got power, I'll give her that, but one sweet-seeking missile and she's history.""
Ian Renga commented on KariGrant's blog post Ways to show your solidarity with France
Nov 18
Ian Renga commented on Comedy Whirled's page Caption Whirled - 11-18-2015
"Her next sign reads:  "MIKE - YOU'RE A CHEATING BASTARD!!!""
Nov 18
Ian Renga commented on Frodoh's photo

Carson's New Platform: Hint—It's a Pyramid

"Conan and Andy need to see this!"
Nov 17
Ian Renga left a comment for Bubba Licious
"Lately they've been on fire.  I recently saw Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds as well as 'The War on Drugs'.  Incredible performances... and after I told you that, I tuned in and James Taylor played the whole hour including a…"
Nov 17
Ian Renga commented on Comedy Whirled's page Caption Whirled - 11-16-2015
""All I asked is if you know where the Nuclear Wessels are.  You don't have to get so bent into shape!""
Nov 17
Ian Renga left a comment for KariGrant
"Fiats are Italian!!  Ha.  Maybe try driving a Citroën."
Nov 16
Bubba Licious left a comment for Ian Renga
"Ian, thanks. How's it been going? Good to see CW is still going strong. Funny, I haven't watched ACL in years. Maybe I'll give it a watch."
Nov 16
Ian Renga left a comment for Bubba Licious
"Nice to see you around here again!   Austin City Limits is the best the show on TV."
Nov 14
Ian Renga posted a status
"Thank You VomitFlop for your recent donation to Comedy Whirled. You Rock buddy."
Nov 14
Ian Renga commented on Frodoh's photo

Mamma Mia 2: Jabba Leia!

"Can you imagine Jabba the Hut singing?  In THX surround?  No sub-woofer on Earth could handle it. "
Nov 12

Ian Renga's Blog


Posted on August 5, 2014 at 12:00am — 8 Comments

How to Drive Two Cars at the Same Time

I was watching In the Heat of the Night(1967) and heard Virgil say that Sam couldn't have driven two cars at the same time.

As Rod Steiger pondered this rarely-contested fact for a moment it dawned on me.   It is quite easy to drive two cars at the same time as long as you have about 30 feet of PVC pipe, 100 ft of 8 gauge steel wound wire and one roll of Gorilla Tape.  For ease of control the wires on the driver's end would be attached to a couple of hard-rubber handles controlling steering, gas & brakes:

WARNING:  Do not attempt this on the open road.  However, if you happen to live in the middle of Australia go ahead and have fun.  And, just like with remote control helicopters it's best to start out with inexpensive vehicles until you dial in the controls.

Posted on January 20, 2014 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

Lindsay Lohan Hires Herbie

In the wake of today's collision, sources close to sources close to sources close to the Lohan camp revealed that her handlers have contacted the Special Effects Department at Disney in an effort to secure several of the 'Herbie' Volkswagens that were featured in  Herbie Fully Loaded (2005).


One of the heavily-reinforced cars is equipped with ground-breaking accident avoidance technology that was first used on the Mars Rover ten years ago.  Both cars will also feature Google's new Blind Driving Computer.  "All the cars have a limiter at 210 mph," Herbie's handlers said, "otherwise they could lose control.  But they're death-proof up to 400 mph.  So we're confident she'll be alright."  Google could not be reached for comment. 

Posted on June 8, 2012 at 8:00pm — 7 Comments

We Might Be Stuffing

   Considering the hundreds of eyewitness accounts in South America of a giant flightless bird and the fact that much of that country has yet to be explored with modern surveillance equipment it is practical to assume that there are still birds out there that could bite our head off.  When we sit down and eat our bird this coming Thursday it's important to realize just why it tastes so good.  When the hunted finally get to eat the hunter there is a sublime molecular response, a sense of total gratification.   Thousands of generations were afraid to go outside without their dogs nearby.  Some even had panthers and tigers to protect them from becoming Diatryma feed, though that elitist method would backfire from time to time for obvious reasons.  

   Today when we give our cats and dogs the giblets and the dark meat we're actually thanking them for thousands of years of protection.  We pay them tributes just like in the Godfather.  So Thanksgiving is a day of thanks on many levels, besides the obvious ones, which include being thankful for Law & Order on TNT and the Snuggie®.

Payback is a…


Posted on November 18, 2011 at 4:30pm — 1 Comment

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