"This wasn't exactly the red eye she was trying to catch."
"I've got my tongue so far in my cheek it makes me mute. Now watch me kick in the teeth of the track like my mind was a steel toe boot."
The Latest
"She had flu before, just not from this airport."
""I mean, I do have a barcode tattoo that you can scan if you really feel like you gotta.""
"It was the first time that person had scanned a vegetable outside of a supermarket."
""Don't feel so special. We had to do this to the Prince & Megan as well.""
""Don't feel so special. We had to do this to the Prince & Megan as well.""
"Which will go viral first? Her or the story featuring her?"
"Sure it looks bad now, but wait until you see the car's dashcam footage revealing the zebra deliberately leaping in the way of the vehicle."
""Keep laughing, asshole, but you'll also be wearing black & white stripes soon enough.""
""Hey! We're gonna need your insurance information! You can't just run over our friend lik-- Whoa! Shit. Is that a desert eagle?""
"Soon after, the Autobot hastily transformed & hasn't been heard from since."
"Sure it looks bad now, but until you see the car's dashcam footage revealing the zebra deliberately leaping in the way of the vehicle."
"Dave would soon be mad at gas car."
""Actually, no I can't see what you did there or anything else for that matter. Now, are you & your so called 'playboys' done leering at me while nervously playing pocket pool?""
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Comment Wall (674 comments)
- At 10:54am on December 12, 2019,
Iverneil said…
Thanks VF, sick minds think alike
- At 3:15pm on November 15, 2019,
Gerhardguffaw said…
Scan Halen... that's a winner!
- At 9:12pm on October 15, 2019,
Ian said…
'Soviet Russia' on Orca is dead solid perfect!
- At 5:06pm on October 10, 2019,
Thanks! Barney Miller was one of my favorite sitcoms and Abe Vigoda was hilarious!
- At 7:09pm on October 4, 2019,
"restrain"!!!
- At 11:20pm on September 16, 2019,
Rotwang said…
An Inconvenient Booth
- At 8:35pm on August 12, 2019,
Speaking of Aquaman, have you seen the first few episodes of Amazon's The Boys yet?
(From the creator of Supernatural & some of the team behind Preacher)
- At 11:38am on July 23, 2019,
eager to bury their bones
- At 8:25pm on June 26, 2019,
MacSpruce said…
Just saw your comment on 'bottweilers'. Thanks VF!
- At 5:53pm on June 26, 2019,
Rodney Dean said…
Your paper comment is perfect from Canada's Prime Minister flub recently, it made me laugh! Nice one.
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