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Van Full of Candy
  • Los Angeles, CA
  • United States
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Awesomeness, by the Van full!

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Van Full of Candy's Blog

From Rage Oranges To Shame Milk -- Family: Who Needs It?

"If I wanted to see mammals feeding their young with their own self producing lactic fluids I'd go to a god damned zoo and "Awww" at its adorable quaintness on the other side of plexiglass where it belongs! Now feed my wife this god damned hand pealed citrus or I'll murder every last one of us!"

Has this ever happened to you? If you have a family this kind of scene plays out to your horror each and every day until you're finally murdered for feeding someone the wrong produce. I've…


Posted on January 12, 2012 at 9:22am — 1 Comment

Party People! You Win Some, You Lose Some: Headaches vs. Mistake Babies

This week has been an uneven one for those who like to party first and deal with party related consequences eventually. We at Van Full of Candy are known to be fans of both “Party” and “Consequences”. The first is fun, the second is hilarious and the combination of the two is often hilariously fun. That is, as long as those hilarious consequences of party are being felt by others. The amount of fun and hilarity one experiences as a result of party consequences is in direct…


Posted on December 9, 2011 at 9:04am

Meet CNN’s Newest Correspondent: Pec Flexman

I have a pretty steady routine when it comes to looking for things on the internet to yell at every other day on our webbed site internets log page. I have a few regular news sources that I scour for the most inane, ridiculous, mind rapingly dumb news stories of the day. Naturally I start right off the top with I usually have to look no further than our trusty friends at Fox to find something yell-at-able. Failing Fox’s usual failings, I then move on to Yahoo, or CNN, or any…


Posted on November 8, 2011 at 2:36pm

Which Angry, Hurtful, Bitter Lover Type Are You?

We’ve been seeing each other for a while now, 10 1/2 months is an eternity for most relationships. We like to think we’ve been a very attentive partner, but we know there’s been times when we’ve taken you for granted. It’s nothing conscious, it’s not because you’ve gained weight, we think that’s sexy, it means you’re comfortable with us. What we’re saying is, we’re taking this relationship seriously and are trying to take a look at ourselves, and see if this is going to work out.



Posted on October 18, 2011 at 2:51pm — 2 Comments

Comment Wall (15 comments)

Join Comedy Whirled today!

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At 3:17pm on December 26, 2011, Rebellious By Nature said…

listen to my free comedy album:

At 6:32pm on July 25, 2011, mellowpuma said…
Frendo, imaginary fact battle is go!
At 6:36pm on July 23, 2011, Ian said…

Burn Baby, Burn! (Hitler Inferno)  

that title is begging for an animated disco video with Adolph catching fire.

Somebody here has to do it right quick.

At 12:45pm on July 13, 2011, Rebellious By Nature said…
At 7:51pm on May 27, 2011, Shag said…
Dude... This made me think of you:
Funny Animated GIFs - I Like Candy
see more Gifs
At 9:55am on May 21, 2011, Rebellious By Nature said…
Happy birthday doomsday everyone!!!
At 4:23pm on April 12, 2011, Ian said…
Wanna race?
At 8:58am on April 7, 2011, Buttermilk said…
mapquest sucks...funny
At 8:28pm on April 5, 2011, Willow Skylor said…
Thanks for your comment on my pic.
At 5:07am on April 5, 2011, Buttermilk said…
Thanks for joining Top 10. We look forward to your lists!

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