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If Ted Kennedy had been president he'd have been shot dead faster than Donald Trump could lust after his own daughter.
If ted Kennedy had been president he'd have been shot dead faster than Trump could pick out a child he wants to fuck at a children's beauty pageant, attended by his daughter.
Congress has been shut down for a week now... by all measures it seems to be working better.
If Teddy Kennedy was as good at dodging bridges as Trump is good at dodging allegations of infidelity with sex workers then Teddy would have been President.
Trump is probably better at dodging allegations of infidelity with sex workers. I mean, he does it with the help of a lawyer, whereas it took help from daddy to avoid the draft.
Is Donald Trump better at dodging allegations of infidelity with sex workers or being drafted into the military? Something to ponder while he holds the country at ransom threatening to shut down the government. But we do need that wall that can be gone over, under, or around. All government employees will be paid in full after the shut down if there is one, and most people don't know that. It'd be more or less a paid vacation. But it sounds bad and scares people, which is the point. Fear mongering, and they're counting on the stupidity of the American people. They're dumb, mislead, scare'em, exploit. MAGA baby!
You know what I hate about this PC culture? It's like you can't even be a piece of shit and say horrible things anymore without people judging you for it. I mean what ever happened to good old light hearted exclusion? At least we still have a president who people refer to as "The Don" because of his similarities to a crime boss.
It's great to hear people working in stores saying "Merry Christmas" again, cause for a while there I was deaf. Good thing Trump flipped that Say Merry Christmas More switch, cause that's a thing, in reality.
So nice to hear Stores saying "Merry Christmas" again instead of "Will that be Cash or Charge?"
Remember "no puppet, no puppet, you're the puppet." There both isn't a puppet and you're the puppet at the same time. It's like a magic trick that requires a huge chunk of the country to be real fucking stupid. Ta da!!!
Some say a 10 year old Jesus was told by his step dad Joseph that he couldn't go play baseball with his chums for a whole week because he skipped out on crucifixion practice. Yeah, baseball's been around a long time.
Why do people a lot of the time say "fucked" when they mean "raped". You didn't get mindfucked you got mind raped. You didn't get fucked over you got raped. People like fucking, it's not a negative thing.This isn't really a joke just kind of a statement. It's sort of like what Marc Maron does, it might be true, but it's definitely not comedy. #MaronSlam
Did Joseph cheat on Mary with pornstars? I must have missed that part. Probably cause it's a crock of shit. #Why'sEverybodyAlwaysPickin'OnMe #EnemyOfThePeople
The Trumps having a Christmas Party for the Press would be like Mary and Joseph inviting King Herod and his Soldiers to come and celebrate Jesus birth with them...
"Yo Momma who?"
"I'm your birth mother, we have a lot to talk about. I'm sorry I was so cavalier before, I really don't know why I said it that way."
"Abbott & Costello's Surveying Service."
"Why haven't you given me a property assessment yet, and also for the bit, Abbott & Costello's Surveying Service who?"
"A doctor who?"
"I'm like a British alien or some shit."
"The police who?"
"you don't have to put on a red light, put on a red light..."
A year ago scores of people were killed or wounded by a gunman at the country music festival in Las Vegas. This month a dozen people were gunned down in a country-western bar in Thousand Oaks, Ca. Maybe it's time to talk about clamping down on country music.
I forget how the saying goes but, keep your enemies close, and your torches and farm utensils closer.
"I’ve been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight. The people who live above me are furious."
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