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Comment by Phil Mahole on September 9, 2010 at 4:15pm
Instead of getting rid of all your shorts you dont like...Give them to the Fat Midget Salvation Army. They could use the pants
Comment by Phil Mahole on September 9, 2010 at 4:13pm
I realized that when you get fatter...it's harder to get your your pants, and other people's pants too!
Comment by Phil Mahole on September 9, 2010 at 4:11pm
My grandfather used to say to me when I was a little boy.."Eric, I'm goin upstairs to fuck yer grandma"..... I just realized something. Grandpa was a fuckin liar. We always lived in a 1 story flat.
Comment by Phil Mahole on September 9, 2010 at 4:10pm
You ever go to the bathroom to take a shit, and sometimes you blow your nose with the tissue....? I HATE BEING DYSLEXIC
Comment by Phil Mahole on September 9, 2010 at 4:09pm
My midget Uncle who was a Psychic just escaped from Levinworth....I heard about it when I read the paper that said..."Small medium at large"
Comment by Phil Mahole on September 9, 2010 at 4:07pm
I dont even know you....I'm really Kravin Moorehead. No joke!
Comment by Joe Blow on September 8, 2010 at 4:30am
Its national smoking week, nothing to cough at.
Comment by Joe Blow on September 8, 2010 at 4:24am
Its national atheist week, no monkey business!
Comment by Joe Blow on September 8, 2010 at 4:13am
Its national eczema week, don't do anything rash.
Comment by Phil Mahole on September 7, 2010 at 5:00pm
When I looked at my family tree....I noticed there was 1 major limp branch on 1 side...I think that was Great Grampa John and Great Grandma Claude.
Comment by Phil Mahole on September 7, 2010 at 4:55pm
if there's 1 thing i could do over a few times again in my life...it would be 7th grade......oh wait, I did.
Comment by LL Bein on September 6, 2010 at 8:44pm
What doesn't kill us usually comes back for a second pass.
Comment by grizz (Raymond J. Carrington) on September 6, 2010 at 8:27pm
Just watched Lady Ga-Ga and thought to myself: " Where did all the ROCK STARS go?"
Comment by grizz (Raymond J. Carrington) on September 6, 2010 at 8:18pm
You ever cruised craigslist checking out chicks? Ever see that picture post from your sister?
Comment by mindblender on September 5, 2010 at 7:23pm
Which is a better determination of my mental state: iTunes playlist or Netflix Queue?
Comment by mindblender on September 5, 2010 at 6:56pm
The biggest challenge to marriage today: Browser History.
Comment by Gerhardguffaw on September 5, 2010 at 5:47pm
Tom and Ralph were hiking. Tom said he needed to take a dump but didn't have any toilet paper. Ralph tells him to use a dollar. When Tom finishes taking a dump he comes back to Ralph with his hands full of shit. Ralph said, "What happened?....I told you to use a dollar." Tom yelled, "I did....three quarters, two dimes and a nickel."
Comment by Jack Splatter on September 5, 2010 at 5:10pm
A grasshopper goes into a bar.
The bartender says, "We have drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Stewart?"
Comment by mindblender on September 5, 2010 at 5:04pm
Does peeing in the shower count as multi-tasking?
Comment by Mike Perron on September 5, 2010 at 12:46pm
I like my coffee like my women. Left on a countertop and wondering if I'm going to finish them.

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