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Comment by JJJ23 on November 11, 2016 at 8:12pm

In these weird and uncertain times I suggest we look to the recent past and use the schwartz. Let's remember that in the first decade of the 21st century the state of California, which has the highest population and largest economy in the country, elected as it's governor a man named Arnold Schwartzenegger. Now as we all know that man is an Austrian body builder/action movie star who has a tenuous grasp of the English language and is famous for portraying a cop who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher and a murder robot. And that guy as far as I remember, and I don't remember that well, didn't do that bad of a job. What I do remember is that we called him The Governator and laughed about it because we wanted to ignore how much power we'd given him because it was horrifying to think about. California, or as Arnold called it Cauliflower, did make it through those years though, and today that state is only sometimes mostly on fire. Yes and he's now gone back to making terrible movies and selling games for your cell phone that you play when you're shitting or you don't want to talk to your family. Now I know that what we're all going to go through over the next several years is a much worse situation to face, but hey, did you see that one Schwartzenegger was in with Johnny Knoxville? Yeah neither did I, and I never will. And I kinda like Johnny Knoxville. Thank you for your time.

Comment by JJJ23 on October 20, 2016 at 8:58am

What's the current betting line on Melania leaving Donald by the end of the calendar year?

Comment by JJJ23 on September 25, 2016 at 10:28am

Would the movie Aladdin be perceived differently if you pronounced it Aladeen?

Comment by mellowpuma on August 23, 2016 at 12:27pm

i wonder what it's like to be a pig, and you're eating an apple, and you find a worm in there, and you think, bonus.

Comment by JJJ23 on August 14, 2016 at 4:32pm

Am I the only one who thinks Negan killed J.R. Ewing?

Comment by JJJ23 on July 31, 2016 at 11:50am

It's been kind of a sad weekend for me, SyFy turned down my script for CrocaGator 4: The UnCrocaning.

Comment by JJJ23 on June 12, 2016 at 1:26pm

Never agree to FaceTime with Jaqen H'ghar.

Comment by JJJ23 on May 4, 2016 at 9:55am

For an erection lasting longer than 4 days call an erexorcist.

Comment by Rosedude on April 21, 2016 at 5:53pm

Now we can simply call him The Former Artist Known as Prince.

Comment by JJJ23 on April 16, 2016 at 10:18am

Vote Colonel Sanders 2016! Feel the Colon!

Comment by Mike McHuman on March 26, 2016 at 2:14pm

You heard the one about the stand-up comic who killed at his last show? He was arrested and charged with involuntary man's laughter.

Comment by Mike McHuman on March 25, 2016 at 10:27pm

I'm hosting a new podcast about sleep apnea. It's called "Snorefest".

Comment by JJJ23 on March 20, 2016 at 3:41pm

Have you seen that show Baking Bad? It's just people fucking up cakes. Also there's a real over use of the word bitch. Before I watched that show I don't think I'd ever heard anyone call a cake a bitch before.

Comment by JJJ23 on March 15, 2016 at 4:02pm

The Bible says God created everything in six days and then on the seventh day he rested, but also he rested pretty much every fucking day after that, right?

Comment by JJJ23 on March 15, 2016 at 3:59pm

There's a new politically correct remake of the movie Single White Female coming out soon for today's generation, it's called Person.

Comment by Mike McHuman on February 29, 2016 at 10:08pm

If the Pacific Ocean wanted to be seen as its authentic self, you would call it Trans-Atlantic.

Comment by JJJ23 on February 25, 2016 at 6:48pm

Sometimes I feel like women are jealous of me cause I can poop standing up.

Comment by Mike McHuman on February 14, 2016 at 2:51pm

The Emmy Awards is one big commercial about television on television with commercials.

Comment by Gerhardguffaw on January 20, 2016 at 1:30pm

Donald Trump, Rand Paul and Bernie Sanders walk into a barber...

Comment by Iverneil on January 20, 2016 at 9:04am

My doctor asked me for a stool sample and I said "Oh god!! that's going to taste awful!!!"

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