OPEN MIC

Comment

Comment by Treeshadow on February 3, 2021 at 10:38am: From now on the word "Twice" will be spelled "Twiice." Stay tuned for more language updates, brought to you each Wensday in the month of Febrary.

Comment by JJJ23 on November 29, 2020 at 8:39am: We're gonna Make America Great Again! - Donald Trump 2015

We're gonna Keep America Great! - Donald Trump 2018

We're like a third world country. - Donald Trump late November 2020

I like this guy, and I believe him when he says the election was stolen from him.* - 74 Million Americans

*problem

Comment by JJJ23 on November 13, 2020 at 11:09am: I'm 33 now, and when I meet people for the first time I'm upfront about how immature I am. I'm not insecure about it really, I own it, it's how I am, I'm fine with it. Some folks might call me a proud boy.

Comment by JJJ23 on October 4, 2020 at 8:31am: Mr. Oblivious: I hear all this negative talk about white supremacy, and I'm like, I'm white, I want to be supreme, and I'd have loved to sing with Diana Ross, that's a good lookin' black woman.

Comment by JJJ23 on October 4, 2020 at 8:27am: Underrated Super Power #2: Quick shitting. Get it out and get back to it.

Comment by JJJ23 on September 13, 2020 at 7:48am: Underrated Super Power #1003: Rationale. Reason. Discernmentation. That last one isn't a word, but it's seems like it maybe could be. Thinkatude.

Comment by JJJ23 on September 13, 2020 at 7:44am: Underrated Super Power #17: Seeing through balls. All the balls. Any ball. Seeing through them. Balls.

Comment by JJJ23 on September 11, 2020 at 4:29am: Underrated Super Power #43: 2 big toes on each foot. Think of the traction. Please. Please. Won't someone think of the traction?

Comment by MacSpruce on September 2, 2020 at 9:12pm: They’re calling it the Trump Plague now. The Trump Plague of 2020. I’m hearing more and more people, a lot of people calling it the Trump Plague. It’s the greatest thing that, it’s like, nobody has ever seen anything like it, and they’re calling it the Trump Plague. That's what I'm hearing from a lot of people.

Comment by JJJ23 on August 27, 2020 at 9:30am: I'm going down the road and I see a sign that says Slow Funeral. What am I supposed to be more considerate just cause some dumb person died?

Comment by Treeshadow on August 21, 2020 at 11:40am: My predictions for rest of the year:

VAMPIRE FROGS

PENGUIN ZOMBIES

EXPLODING BUTTERFLIES

WiFi WAVES RANDOMLY SLING MUD

FLYING SQUIRRELS THAT CARRY CACTUS PLANTS

ROBOT VACUUMS TUNNEL INTO THE EARTH

CHIMPS ON POGO STICKS BREATHE FIRE

THREE HURRICANES STACKED NEATLY ON TOP OF EACH OTHER

TURTLES DISCOVER THEY CAN BREAK WINDOWS WHEN THEY COUGH

EVERY TEXT MESSAGE EVER IS SENT TO EVERYONE, PHONES OVERHEAT AND MELT

Comment by Treeshadow on August 7, 2020 at 7:53am: 99% of people who lose their train of thought

Comment by Treeshadow on July 29, 2020 at 5:06pm: One word movie critiques:

The Farmer “Outstanding!”

The Hypnotist “Mesmerizing!”

The Welder “Riveting!”

The Pencil “Sharp!”

Quintuple Solar Systems “Five Stars!”

Comment by Treeshadow on July 28, 2020 at 9:32am: Does one go ON an elevator or IN an elevator? Or ONTO, or INTO? Sometimes English ain't ez.

Comment by Treeshadow on July 26, 2020 at 9:39am: On dropping food: There is no ten-second rule at the veterinarian.

Comment by Treeshadow on July 5, 2020 at 12:08pm: OKAY I'LL BUY THE @#$% EARWAX REMOVAL THING NOW STOP THE ADS!

Comment by Treeshadow on July 5, 2020 at 12:08pm: Dear Zuckerberg, Gates, Apple, Google, Amazon, Mother Theresa, whoever: PLEASE, no more earwax removal ads!

Comment by Treeshadow on July 5, 2020 at 11:40am: Please, no more earwax removal ads in my feed. For the love of sweet Mother Mary Queen of Scotland STOP!

Comment by Rosedude on June 11, 2020 at 5:30pm: Hey Mac. Those 110,000 were very weak. I like people who don't get sick.

IF ONE DOOR CLOSES AND ANOTHER DOOR OPENS YOUR HOUSE IS PROBABLY HAUNTED

LOGON:
LOGIN: