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Got groceries today. Wore a mask. Haven't felt that vulnerable since my Turkish prison days. Not my fault, I thought he meant, "Deliver this corned beef hash."
Are there outhouses in the Outback? Are there ottomans in Ottowa? Do people in Wala Wala stutter?
My air guitar looks more like air jerking off. But, then again, doesn't all air guitar look like air jerking off?
A day without orange juice is like a day without acid re-flux.
Cancer is your body's way of committing suicide because you're too much of a pussy to do it yourself.
A lack of toilet paper gives new meaning to the term End Times.
I've been incredible at social distancing for years and I just now realized.
Toilet paper will save us!
I plan to contract the coronavirus early and avoid the rush.
Things Oprah Never Said But What If: "YOU get the coronavirus, and YOU get the coronavirus..."
Do you think Shaq and The General are really friends or is it just for the ads? Explain. 30 seconds!
If you was Hulk Hogan or The Macho Man Randy Savage at they prime who would ya be!? Explain. 30 seconds!
Is Donald Trump Rollo Tomasi?
@JJJ23: Rambi, because he likes to ram does and bucks.
@Rosedude: Arguably worse is when they write it down and still manage to get it wrong.
Does anyone else get nervous when their waiter/waitress takes their party's order without writing it down? Are they trying to show us that they are really smart enough that they should be in another line of work? Tonight, two mistakes were made on my rather simple hamburger, so I feel the need to vent.
If you're making a movie where Bambi is Rambo do you call it Bambo or Rambi? Explain. You have 30 seconds...
Ad idea: Woman singing "You make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like a Natty Light woman!"
Get on it Natural Light!
Vampires don't rape*, they're always invited in. *glamouring
"I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Woody Allen (Love & Death 1975)
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