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Comment by Treeshadow 18 hours ago

Got groceries today. Wore a mask. Haven't felt that vulnerable since my Turkish prison days. Not my fault, I thought he meant, "Deliver this corned beef hash."

Comment by Treeshadow yesterday

Are there outhouses in the Outback? Are there ottomans in Ottowa? Do people in Wala Wala stutter?

Comment by Mike McHuman on March 31, 2020 at 9:51pm

My air guitar looks more like air jerking off. But, then again, doesn't all air guitar look like air jerking off?

Comment by Mike McHuman on March 31, 2020 at 9:49pm

A day without orange juice is like a day without acid re-flux.

Comment by Mike McHuman on March 31, 2020 at 9:49pm

Cancer is your body's way of committing suicide because you're too much of a pussy to do it yourself.

Comment by Treeshadow on March 25, 2020 at 1:46pm

A lack of toilet paper gives new meaning to the term End Times.

Comment by Treeshadow on March 25, 2020 at 1:45pm
Baby Names I Suggested That My Daughter Vetoed:
 
Corona
Covid
Pam Demic
Cora Tina
Ceedeecee
Batt
Clara Quinn
Serjical Masque
Comment by JJJ23 on March 18, 2020 at 10:06pm

I've been incredible at social distancing for years and I just now realized.

Comment by MacSpruce on March 17, 2020 at 8:53pm

Toilet paper will save us!

Comment by MacSpruce on March 12, 2020 at 7:45pm

I plan to contract the coronavirus early and avoid the rush.

Comment by Treeshadow on February 29, 2020 at 11:42am

Things Oprah Never Said But What If: "YOU get the coronavirus, and YOU get the coronavirus..."

Comment by JJJ23 on February 27, 2020 at 7:34am

Do you think Shaq and The General are really friends or is it just for the ads? Explain. 30 seconds!

Comment by JJJ23 on January 29, 2020 at 12:49am

If you was Hulk Hogan or The Macho Man Randy Savage at they prime who would ya be!? Explain. 30 seconds!

Comment by MacSpruce on January 24, 2020 at 8:26pm

Is Donald Trump Rollo Tomasi?

Comment by MacSpruce on January 24, 2020 at 6:53pm

@JJJ23: Rambi, because he likes to ram does and bucks.

Comment by MacSpruce on January 24, 2020 at 6:52pm

@Rosedude: Arguably worse is when they write it down and still manage to get it wrong.

Comment by Rosedude on January 22, 2020 at 7:33pm

Does anyone else get nervous when their waiter/waitress takes their party's order without writing it down?  Are they trying to show us that they are really smart enough that they should be in another line of work?  Tonight, two mistakes were made on my rather simple hamburger, so I feel  the need to vent.

Comment by JJJ23 on January 20, 2020 at 8:35am

If you're making a movie where Bambi is Rambo do you call it Bambo or Rambi? Explain. You have 30 seconds...

Comment by JJJ23 on January 3, 2020 at 3:35pm

Ad idea: Woman singing "You make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like a Natty Light woman!"

Get on it Natural Light!

Comment by JJJ23 on December 23, 2019 at 5:40pm

Vampires don't rape*, they're always invited in. *glamouring

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