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If I had a hammock I'd hammock in the morning.
Headline: Trump Worried About Pecker Leaking
Being "Pro-Trump" means you've been had by a con-man Period
Swamp wildfire, earthquake, hurricane...when the world gives me lemons I make lemonade...does anyone have a good recipe for locusts?
...being "Pro-European-nobility" doesn't mean you should make a feckless count of yourself..
...being "Anti-Woman" means you made a dick of yourself.
...being "Pro-Woman" does not mean you should make a boob out of yourself...
I was watching that Ghost Rider sequel with Nic Cage and I just said "You ride that Ghost, yeah boy, you ride it."
If no one needs me I'll be here at Comedy Whirled giving away jokes while wearing a Talk to the Man Cause the Dick Still Pissinin' t-shirt. I drink.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside the NRA headquarters selling Guns Are for Pussys t-shirts sponsored by Gerber.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside the battered women's shelter selling NRA t-shirts, well some, but mostly She Deserved It t-shirts.
If anyone needs me I'll be at the Pride parade selling I Don't See No Steers t-shirts.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside a Mormon church selling The Rocks I Smoke Tell Me Things Too t-shirts.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside Comic-Con selling Virginity is a Sin t-shirts.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside the Kremlin selling Putin is Kinda Short and Not That Great of a Murderer t-shirts.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside the Gathering of the Juggalos selling Reading is Fundamental t-shirts.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside the Staples Center selling Lebron: French World Kickyball Champion t-shirts.
If anyone needs me I'll be outside the AA meeting selling Drinking Makes Me Happy t-shirts.
So tell us, Vladimir; does Donald Trump spit or swallow?
Nazis who deny the Holocaust's existence are really throwing away a big win.
Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity.
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