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"That other turkey, it was whimpering and crying, begging for its life. It died like a dog, it died like a coward. And then we ate it."
"I pardon you because you're a good turkey. In fact, you're a finger-lickin good turkey. You know what, forget about the pardon."
"I'm doing this as a favor to my friend Erdogan, the president of turkeys, who I met on the same trip that I met the prince of whales."
Even though the bird was pardoned, it still fled to Canada!
Turkey invades America! "Time to duck and cover"... states President Trump!!!
"Of course you get a pardon! You can't help that you're white, fat and easily ruffled!"
...Turkeys with big breasts are huge trouble... the last one I got caught with cost me a $130,000.
Is that a fuse coming out of its ass??
While the official turkey guy said his last goodbyes, Trump instructed his executioner on how he wants the whole thing to go down.
"My hand is stuck."
"This bird could feed the whole Ukraine."
"Give me the wing, the rest is pardoned."
"Get in my mouth."
"Save the West Wing for me. It's my favorite!"
"Is that a bullet hole in the front of that turkey? I suspect fowl play!"
"How would you like to be the new ambassador to the Ukraine?"
"Big breasts, shapely legs and a bird brain. We should call her Stormy Daniels."
"Jive turkey? Who you calling a jive turkey you fowl mouthed liberal asshole?"
"I'll name this bird, No Quid Pro Quo."
Grab 'em by the cloaca...
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