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hey wait a minute ......you're not Morgan Fairchild ........SECURITY !
"Everytime I burp in this mask it smells like regret."
"Do I really have to go to this debate? I have a bad feeling."
"Stop pushing me bitch."
"How does it go again? One foot in front of what?"
"Why won't anybody shake hands with me?"
"Where are we?"
You think I can claim jet lag for four years?
Why did nobody tell me it was "black masks matter" day?
"I'm Joe Biden and I approve these male models."
Joe Biden has his wife Jill and the secret service. Trump has his wife Melania and her secret cervix.
“That agent behind me is doing his Elvis impersonation again, isn’t he.”
Pretty easy to tell which one’s the Good Guy.
"All I'm saying is, why do they call it a runway if you're not allowed to run on it?"
"I don't know why they call these guys the Secret Service when they can't keep a secret to save their gossipy little lives!"
"When I was VP, Obama never let me ride on Air Force One. When I win the election, I'm going to fly around the whole fucking world on that goddamn plane!"
"Guys, we all look ridiculous. We need to find more suitable masks in the future."
"If I become president, then can we join the Mile High Club?"
"If you're getting tired of holding me up, why don't you ask one of those Secret Service guys?"
"Why does everybody claim I'm just masquerading as a competent pers-- Squirrel!"
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