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Do you want that room to be Screaming or Non-Screaming?
When I said I wanted to be near the Pool I didn't mean the one of blood...
Yes we do offer massages...but I don't really recommend them here."
Breakfast in bed sir? ... Sure.. I will be there 1st thing in the Morning..
The Bellhops there expected an arm and a leg for Tips...
...just to let you know.... many of the Hookers around here are Trannysauruses...
"Yeah I get that all the time, my cousin used to work at Jurassic Park though..."
"We guarantee you will have a restful night, no one wakes up here with a saurus back, if you know what I mean"
"Paging Mr. Herman, Mr. Herman, you have a phone call at the front desk."
life finds a valet
"Sorry about the bedbugs. Life finds a way, am I right?"
"I'm sorry, we don't comp rooms any longer. However, you're welcome to take one of our Compy rooms just for the night."
"Be sure to check out our topless pool area as well as the new assorted torso patio."
"Why do you want my blood type?"
"We just received five stars from Velocpitality Weekly."
"Welcome back Mr. Yamamoto. Would you be interested in trying out our new Chinos? The fabric is 100% digestible, I mean, biodegradable!"
"And because you rang the service bell more than once, you earned a free trip to the guest salad bar!"
"What's this Kill Room Tax?"
"Where the fuck is your manager? You're supposed to be the size of a turkey!"
"Check-out time is twelve sharp. And we do mean sharp."
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