Crawler translation: (Today in entertainment news, Taylor Swift say word "Ass" in court). - MadAdam
"You know what they say: Here today, Guam tomorrow." - Mario!!!
"We're expecting record highs this Saturday, with an afternoon temperature of more than 100,000,000° Celsius. Be sure to have plenty of water on hand and apply 50,000,000 SPF sunscreen every five minutes, even if you're indoors." - Ian