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"The paint is still wet in places, so for a better experience be sure to inhale as much as you can."
"Remember, if you gotta go, just do it."
"Hey there Boo-boo, let's go steal that woman's pic-a-nic basket!"
"I've got it! We'll build a Yellow Brick Wall! MOGA!"
"It's politically incorrect to refer to them as Munchkins, so now we just call them Hobbits."
"We're off to see the Whizzer, the Wonderful Whizzer of Oz!"
"You said it's named after the people who helped build it?"
"This way to the submarine."
♫ I've finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road. ♫
"The lunatic is on the grass."
"There are no restrooms in Oz, hence the yellow brick road!"
“Oh look, there’s the grave of my ex, the Tin Man. Rust in Peace you heartless bastard!”
“Just because Munchkins call themselves the Lollipop Guild doesn’t mean you should lick them.”
♫ ♫ We’re off to see the gift shop, the wonderful gift shop of Oz ♫ ♫
“I heard the lady back there in the Nike shirt is going to ask the Wizard for liposuction.”
“Why is everyone here so concerned if the Wizard went to some place called Hogwarts?”
I thought this tour would have more neo nazi rapists. Maybe this is a different Oz.
Look! The man behind the curtain has his robe open!
I'll wear the Red Slippers today... you can wear the witches red panties.
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