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“We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
"Ah, here's the problem: you bought a Boeing!"
In Soviet Russia, burning ring of fire falls into Johnny Cash.
"Right before you die, you see the ring."
Moments earlier: "Bing-Boom! Hello, & thank you for flying Derry Air! This is your captain speaking. Your in flight movie for today will be Turbulence!"
"Look! Up in the air! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's -- OH GOD!!! Well, there was a bird anyway."
Meanwhile, the people on the plane were hanging on by a wing. As for the prayers, they were being allocated elsewhere.
"I thought Harrison Ford got his pilot license revoked?"
"No com planes?! What?! I have plenty of complaints!"
"Honey, did you order this fucking thing from Amazon?"
"Is that-- Is that a dead gremlin over there?"
Where's the Space Force when we need it?
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