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My emotional animal is a part of the body I named Pink Floyd.
Have a pheasant plight.
"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas... 99% of the time."
"Sorry sir, you're going to have to remove your beak, talons and your sternum if you wish to board this flight."
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop doing peyote."
"Watch them run afowl of the law on an all-new season of Beaking Bad."
The next idiot asks me if I'm headed south gets the shit clawed out of them.
Asshole gets more vacations than I do.
(side note, this could be my peacock. I used to have two now just one, but I don't see him a lot cause he just kind of comes and goes as he pleases.)
Some birds don't like airports, but I'm a big fan.
No, ma'am, I'm sorry. You can't bring a live bird onboard, but if you kill it first we'll call it carrion luggage.
Yeah, they wouldn't let me board with my emotional support crocodile, either.
A peacock is better than no cock.
I'm from out of town, wheres the nearest Rookery?
Looks like Larry Bird is going on vacation.
The guy said it was a Service Animal... I think it was just a decoy...
Asians are picky when it comes to their food being fresh.
The people in the seat behind him bitched the entire flight.
Anyplace tropical will be fine
“See, I told you airports are so focused on stopping terrorism these days that you can smuggle just about anything past them right out in the open.”
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