Share 'Random facts about myself that I'm proud of...but shouldn't be.'
I'm basically about to ruin any chance with any dude that ever found me remotely cute.
1. I buy mayo in economized sized vats as big as a horses head.
2. I used to like Vienna sausages.
3. I've had sex with a dude named Mordecai.
4. I still like Vienna sausages.
5. I've eaten a whole birthday cake in one sitting.
6. I am almost always half-naked while eating....it's really the only way t…
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